Why do guys try so hard to get us locked down then the moment we open up to them, they stop caring and trying.

[morgalour145]

So Gentlemen, I've noticed (not saying all guys are like this) but Every guy I've been with (relationship/slept with) have all tried so hard to get me, like really hard, but the moment I open up just a little bit its like they stomp all over me, take advantage, stop wooing, and stop caring it seems. Why do you guys think its OK to just stop doing all these things, us girls understand that things fade after a while but to keep us from bitching or being mean, flowers once in a while, the occasional I love you, or whatever would be nice. Just want to know why this all comes to be.

[alimahadtheman]

In my life's experience I have noticed how this occurs in both genders, honestly a little more in girls (no bias though). The reason is a simple human trait, to seek what you are not able to get easily.

A guy/girl will always go for someone who is totally 'out of their league'. They will always drool for someone whom they think they can't have. When they do have something, they always value it less. It's interesting how this relates to objects as well. When I got my first laptop, I used to clean it everyday and treat it like some princess. Now that time has gone by, its in my cupboard under some books.

But you are not an object, and you can do something about it.

Remember this, a relationship does NOT mean you completely open yourself up to someone (unless he's your husband). Always have your own space, always keep them wanting more.

The day you make him feels you're good enough for him, he will lose interest in you and consider himself worth more. Hence, he will stop trying to please someone (you) who is so his to have.

Im sure you have seen husbands who are complete douchebags to their wives but once she pulls out the divorce papers they go frantic and change. Because they wake up and don't take things for granted. I don't suggest you consistently warn of a breakup, but hey, a little jealousy is honestly healthy. Don't give him your all in the relationship. Not even in bed. Don't say okay to everything he says. Don't submit to him.

Give yourself the respect you deserve. Don't shed it off for some guy.

Good luck :D

[morgalour145]

Thank you so much for your input, gives me a lot to think about. :)

[wilbur12]

Honestly, I believe that both genders do this. We tend to long after things we think we cannot have. The things we know we can have at any time becomes less valuable. That explains y a guy or girl may work hard to get the other person but once sex gets thrown into that equation or anything too close to it, there is nothing left to earn. prize is won. Next time, surround yourself with friends that care for you genuinely. The best way to do this is to not have sex with them but see how much they really wanna get to know YOU.

[Anonymous]

This isn't a man trait. Women do this to guys all the time as well. These are people that have something to prove to themselves. The more people they can get to like them then the better they can feel about themselves. Either most people are this way, or they are very talented at finding people like us.

[arinot]

what this guy said

[morgalour145]

This is true, I have notcied I act like this a lot but never really towards men... maybe becasue I'm I hate saying it but desperate to be withsomeone so I try to do everything to please them.