Would you rather have an intelligent, "famous", beautiful but unhappy child, or a retarded but happy one?

[Julie4]

[RavVid]

I'd pick intelligent. Not so desirous of a famous child and in fact would shut that down. I would feel some genetic pride if the child was good looking.

I do think some degree of emotional disposition is genetic but if the child is intelligent they have capacity to be reflective and overcome an unhappy nature, plus I can play a role in that as a parent.

A retarded child I can't fix and I don't think a happy nature compensates for low intellect. Plus people will be mean to them.

[Zack-Bann]

A distant cousin of mine on the decelerated end and he’s honestly insufferable.


Clearly living a seemingly happy life but it’s also a very limiting one. He’s sheltered by his father to the point where he’s 40 now and people still assume he’s 15


Five me the smart and beautiful kid.
I’ve dealt with ongoing depression practically my whole life i know how to work around it and can help him or her early on to avoid the pitfalls I fell into because no one bothered to warn me

[Amy10223]

What a challenging question. I don't think I can give an answer, but I will tell you that dealing with an unhappy child (depression, etc) is not an easy thing to deal with. And I can't believe how insensitive people are here to call mentally retarded (or challenged) kids and people "retards". Many of those children and folks have a bigger heart than all of you.

[PeachyPie93]

A depressed kid.. My brother was mentally challenged and you shouldn't call them retards.. you fucking dickhead.

[RichA322]

Ok. It depends:

The happy kid, if the unhappy kid is like Hollywood star unhappy. Like serious depression and you will never ever see them happy. Because this might cause them to destroy their life or even commit suicide.

So I would go for the happy, but retarded one. They will at least enjoy their time here on earth, smile and be happy.

[Staximus]

If you mean Downs syndrome when you say retarded, that's a tough choice. A child with Downs syndrome usually doesn't live to old age, usually has other associated health problems, and is often not able to live independently. Basically they are never moving out, and if you're healthy and live long you are most likely going to outlive them and watch them die. Which fucking sucks ass. An unhappy child in the other hand can become happy if they're not crazy or an idiot.

[purplepoppy]

You can always help an unhappy person to cheer up but you can't cure a retard

[RingOfFire]

😲 Retarded! Didn't you get the memo? 😮

That's so 1960s !

You are supposed to refer to them as "a person who is intellectually different!" 😯

[RavVid]

We didn't get the memo and are still calling them spastics though retard is popular too. It is funny because spastic was introduced as a nice polite term for intellectually different. Any term introduced is going to quickly become an insult.

Do people go spas in the US? If I get really upset or very drunk I likely to be called that.

[RingOfFire]

All of those terms, spaz (we say it pronounced this way), retard... both terms used. But considered rude and never appropriate to refer to someone who has brain or body physical disability. Usually only used to insult someone. Spaz... is not as insulting as retard, and sometimes used as a friendly insult. Retard is generally used to intentionally try to be rude.

But to use either to refer to someone who has a disability publicly is considered a major infraction... and called "not politically correct."

I had a cousin who was "mentally retarded" which is what we called it growing up. Up until maybe the late 80s or early 90s this was okay. Then it became politically incorrect. They went through several iterations of change for the proper way to refer to the ailment and now I think it's something like "intellectually challenged" ... hmmmm... or maybe that was the last one. Now maybe it's "intellectually different." Soon it will probably be called "normal" and everyone else will be called "intellectually different."

[RavVid]

Much the same. I spend more z's here than anywhere else because mostly s's are z's for us. Partly because I don't like red lines and can't correct auto correct but mostly as this is an American site it just seems polite.

It prompted me to check if the Royal Spastic Society had changed it's name. It has but they took till 1994 to stop using abusive terms so it is clearly a society of assholes who ignored the memo for a long time.

In googling this I now know I must not call you able-bodied. I should say you are non-disabled. So I should greet with "Good morning. You are looking very non-disabled today."

[RingOfFire]

Got a good laugh out of that post.

Because of my retarded cousin some of my family members devoted their volunteer time to a major organization to help people with retardation called "AHRC" when we were kids for many years. It is a major non-profit still around today.

My grandmother actually became the leader of the organization and my family members and I used to volunteer time... one of the large projects was organizing a gigantic annual book sale to raise money.

AHRC = Association for the help of retarded children.

They still use the same initials today, but maybe they have redefined the words.

[RavVid]

That is equally funny. It is tragic and I am sorry your family has had this issue to deal with. It is also sad that kindly institutions have names that are now considered abusive when they weren't at the founding. It says something about us.

The Royal Spastic's new name is Scope. I immediately checked if it stood for something as the SC at the start looked suspicious and I just had to crack the OPE. But not finding anything that is admitted to.

I am wondering how I can say someone is looking well and healthy in a non discriminatory way. Is that non-unwell or non-unhealthy. Can non disabled be broadly generalized? Can I compliment someone as being non intellectually different?

I do want to get this right.

[Joshydavid25]

Well, I can always just work to help the first one be happy.. I would prefer a healthy all around child, we can always work on the mental..

[Ironco]

What a brutally honest question.

They both would have their positive and negative sides.

[KostasKouvalis]

Oh my God😂

The first one. No way am I having a retard kid

[onedarkcloud]

I have taken what God has given me and made the best that could be made both healthy and born with Cancer. 18 years and still fighting

[RyanEC]

An intelligent one in my opinion.


Some of the greatest people were unhappy.

[beefcakebradybatson]

As Bryce Harper once said, "Clown question, bro!!!"

[SmokinAces2000]

If someone is “retarded” how could they even comprehend the feeling of happiness

[Amy10223]

That depends on the level of mental retardation. Downs Syndrome people can be happy. I have watched a play being put on by children/adults who all had downs syndrome. They are the smartest on the level of MD. And, in my training for special ed teacher, I saw many kids who smiled when they were happy. These were severely retarded children.

[NathanDavis]

happiness above all

[Apple1996]

Definitely the happy kid

[KostasKouvalis]

It's not a problem that he's a retard?

[Apple1996]

@KostasKouvalis nope that wouldn't be a issue. One of my brothers is retarded. He's cool af lol I'd rather deal with that then a depressed kid

[Amy10223]

I agree, Apple1996.

[msc545]

The intelligent kid

[eagle1951]

first one