I heard and read people say that I need to grow past it. But what happened to me has damaged me. What I mean is mentally it influences how I feel about people, and myself.
That's awful! I am so sorry to hear that. I can understand how much it affected you. I was picked on by some girls constantly in high school and college. They would comment my looks and they didn't like me scoring well... even called my smile as horrible and scary. 🤷🏻♀️ It used to make me very upset but back then I didn't know how to respond. So, I'd ignore them but the truth is for years I though I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty. If someone praised me for my accomplishments I'd be mortified. It took me a while to overcome that and be confident. I eventually understood that they were insecure people who were trying to put me down to feel better about themselves. So, why would I let them affect my life? I'm doing good now.
Have you ever shared your experience with your parents or anyone back then? Do you consider talking to someone now? Because you don't deserve to feel this way. You must be doubting yourself often. I know bullying affects self esteem and how we feel about ourselves and this is what those bullies wanted. It's not fair. Those awful bullies are gone and you can always start your life fresh and focus on healing yourself.
Thank you for sharing your story. Yes I have tried talking to people about it. Nobody understands though.
m Thank you for MHO.
I hope my story helped you feel a little better that you're not alone in this. I know that feeling too when you express yourself, what you're going through but the people you trust don't get you. It happened with me at some point (but I didn't talk about being bullied. There was some other traumatising thing I shared with that but they didn't get it) so for years. I thought what's the point of sharing? No one will get me. Not even my own people get it but one day this truly amazing person came into my life. He's now my close friend and I could share about anything at all without feeling awkward, uncomfortable or embarassed. He just gets me even though he didn't go through most of those things. So, I really hope you meet some people like him in life with whom you could share anything and until then, you can DM me if you ever want to talk about it or anything that's bothering you or maybe try talking to a therapist. Take care. 🫶🏻
Bullying definitely leads to lasting trauma
Probably very often, but in my case certainly a plain disgust for bullies. They are a pain in the arse for ever.
Opinion
17Opinion
I was not personally. That said, I agree with the people telling you to try and move past it on some level. (Easier said than done of course - even small comments that don't qualify as bullying can have lasting impacts on people's self-image.)
Of course it influences how you perceive the world around you, our perception is literally built on our experiences and vice versa. That said, I think it's important to sit with yourself and pick through what happened and what parts of it you want to actively forward with and what parts you want to replace. I'm not gonna get into the whole "pain makes you stronger bs", but you certainly can think about how your perception has been influenced in order to make better, more realistic decisions about what's happening now.
Ex. If someone made fun of your appearance in the past, how do you think you should or want to perceive yourself in the present? Are you ok thinking you look bad because you believe in character over appearances? Is your appearance something you want to work towards changing? If so, in what way and how are you going to go about it without sacrificing some other part of your wellbeing? Or maybe you want to work on appreciating the aspects of your appearance that you do like?
How exactly you address your trauma, regardless of the source, is very much personal to you and what you specifically are trying to overcome.
Mostly because of my autism. I was mostly bullied in elementary school for liking cartoons and in middle school because I didn’t know many sports players. Just because I didn’t know sports players, they called me a freak! They hated me because I had a fixation on Herbie the Love Bug. And because I was at a Christian school, I only wanted to hear Christian music. Others called me a freak because I didn’t like listening to other kinds of music. My mom pulled me out of school because I was getting bullied all the time. She homeschooled me for the rest of middle school and all through high school.
I got bullied in Church too. Even Christian's can be huge jerks. I love Christian Metal.
I was. It was cyberbullying, with a few verbal outbursts thrown in. I would say it didn't have a lasting impact on my life because I managed to work through it. Still, there were times when it really took a toll on my self-esteem and made me dread going to school. For a while, I was even too afraid to check my phone.
Does it lead to lasting trauma? In my opinion, yes, it can lead to that. Especially if it's severe and it happens during the formative years. The emotional pain from bullying can scar and stay with someone for a long time, affecting their self-esteem and mental health even years later.
Yes, I was badly bullied during many years, mostly at the border school. All I can say is that bullied people some day can have a very dangerous reaction, an overreaction, the kind for instance of what you hear about on the news. A trauma? No, not in my case because I have always been able to face my own tendencies. But I keep a very deep disgust for all those idiots not able to exist mentally without ridiculizing and bullying others.
After many years of observations (I mean in cases I'm not involved) bullies cannot be "cured". They need someone stronger to give them good a lesson, a hard lesson. The sad truth: no wonder there are so many useless wars all over the world.
Quite a lot. Being one of the tallest kids in school, all the bullies thought it was badge for them if they could beat me up. Being a very pacific person, I never wanted to fight anybody but was forced into it.
Yes, it did effect me quite a bit.
Yeah, it can! Did you ever see the movie, "Carrie", for example?
What ya gotta realize is that, after you get out of high school, you'll probably never see those assholes again and, if you do, they'll have grown the fuck up and stopped being such assholes.
Quite a few of the people that picked on me in my school years have treated me like a good friend after our school years.
My first job after the school years was at the railway, and I happened to meet on the train one of those stupid dickhead bullies from school. Actually I felt sorry for him because his life had become a disaster, and everything went wrong for him in life... I still know that if he had been successful in life, he still would have been that stupid bully in some vicious way.
@mstbooblover My worst bully ended up living across the street from me after high school!! All of a sudden, he was more of a friend but still a bit of a jerk. Likewise, in one of my first post-school jobs, I ended up working with him, too!! Most likely, it was my 3rd job. We were both working for the local boro on winter clean-up. My brother & I only worked there 3 of the 4 weeks we were supposed to because dad got tickets to go to Florida to visit his best school buddy and the whole family went down with him. Kinda strange that, in that job, we were only supposed to work 2 weeks but they decided they'd need us all for 2 more weeks but, we ended up going to Florida for 2 weeks and, after we were there for 2 weeks, dad's friend talked him and us into staying THERE for another 2 weeks!! Instant replay!
The cool thing was we left here with a foot of snow on the ground and it was basically like our spring in Florida and when we came back home at the end of March, it just started to get like our summer in Florida but, we got back here just as spring was starting so, we got spring twice that year!! Twice the work, twice the Florida and twice the Spring!! Triple play!!
You mean the bully seemed to have become something as a friend? You were lucky in a certain way, because the guy only learned to behave, which is positive of course, but doesn't change the nature of a person. In any case I will always keep a certain distance from any bully, whether ancient or recent.
@mstbooblover Not completely a friend but a bit more of one.
10 years after graduating high school, I decided to go to college and was cross registered at 3 different schools and in all those groups of people, never had another bully incident.
I can't say that graduating high school stops people from being bullies anymore, though because, 14 years after high school, I got a job building swimming pools and the crew I got stuck with had mostly recent high school grads, some of whom were assholes and treated me like I was some stupid little kid, like they knew more about building a pool than I did. We'd get to a job site and I'd go straight to work busting ass while they sat in the shade laughing at me for working so hard. I'm there to WORK so I'M GONNA WORK!! Otherwise, I've got better things to do with my time!! In the meantime, they intentionally built one badly because they were too lazy to do it the right way. This would've gotten my boss and the owner in a LOT of trouble had the pool collapsed in the near future!! Once I mentioned this goof up to the boss, he got REALLY pissed at them and MADE THEM undo everything they needed to to correct this flaw (by that time, they had most of the pool built!) and do it right and, after that, because he knew he could trust me, he would take me with him, for the most part, to help him with other jobs and even took me to his house that he built. Or, he'd take me to a site where one guy could do the work and just leave me there to get to it, which I did. I never had to deal with those assholes, anymore.
But, in my school days, I constantly dealt with bullies!!
There WAS one other job where I had to deal with bullies. I was working at the games on the midway at Cedar Point one summer and two of the game leaders were bullies, the guy at Bust A Dish and his girlfriend at Pick A Duck, what a perfect match! But, I only had to deal with them while working at their games.
@mstbooblover And the boss of all the games (and his little sidekick) were on my ass all summer. I got on quite well with all the other game leaders and all the other people I had to work with at those games. And, most of them were recent high school grads or at least in college. I turned 21 2 weeks after I started there.
Also taking into account what you say, I noticed that bullies often only feel strong in a pack of indulging idiots, which leads me to suspect bullies feel the mere existence of someone seemingly harmless, without ways to really defend themselves, without the need to be supported by the "pack", as a threat to their self esteem. As stated, in order to feel confortable, they need to humiliate some victim, and this of course if possible with the support of a few "followers".
@mstbooblover Correct!
Yeah I was bullied in elementary and middle school. It definitely made me insecure for a long time and still a little bit today. What's crazy is some of the guys who bullied me ended up trying to get with me years later in highschool. I turned them down real quick
Yeah people are stupid like that.
a little bit. late 5th-early 6th grade, early 7th, and 10th grade. my weight fluctuated a lot as an older kid & teen, i had fat periods. all the bullying i got was about my weight. i dont think i have any trauma or anything like that, except that i definitely am scared of being fat again. adults bully each other too
yeah, all the way until 10th grade where it was at it's worst, so i changed schools bc they handled it so fucking poorly. you genuinely would not believe the stuff that got overlooked
it definitely leaves you with trauma lol like the last time i even just drove by that school i was shaking with anger
It happened to me the worst in Middle School, and it still took place in Highschool. It didn't happen during my first 2 years of college, but the prior bullying affected my self-perception during that time. It had a negative effect on me that ended once I seriously improved myself in many ways. So you can say the effect was relatively brief.
I believe the key to it not having an effect on you ultimately boils down to your self-esteem and self-worth. Work on yourself, stack up achievements and accomplishments, and they should have little to no effect on you.
Nearly all of the people who bullied me turned out to be losers in almost every sense of the word, by the way. I find that this also applies to most bullies, in general. Why should the actions of failures and turds affect you, especially if you're of a high caliber? People who're worth their salt seldom ever bully anyone.
Yes. And it can definitely leave lasting trauma.
Of course what passes as bullying today tends to be more psychological than physical while teachers are trained to stop the physical, most have no clue how to handle or even recognise psychological.
Was bullied more in elementary the actual high school but it was for my skin is have dermatitis and it effects me a lot still i felt that I was ugly and not good enough for a long time and still have issues sometimes
Affect me the REST of my life? The rest of it might be a stretch. But maybe on some level. I think our experiences in our formative years affect us in ways we might not even realize. But I'm old enough that I have perspective e now. I mean, I'm almost 50. You're talking about 6 years out of those years. There are bad experiences I'll always carry with me. But regardless of what was done to me in the past I am not that person anymore.
NO but I was stalked and threatened (by here 19 year old brother) by a girl who felt she had a crush on me but I wasn't interested between the ages of 12 and 14.
was definitely bullied in little league but not because of my looks, but because of my skills. I remember getting hit by a pitch almost every time I went up to the plate in the the last few games before finals…I wish I could see some of those idiots nowadays to catch up on that and see what’s up
I'm sorry they hurt you. I wasn't bullied but I witnessed a fee get bullied. I stopped it a few times even getting into a fight with the asshole. Then the guy who was picked on got mad and said he didn't need my help.
I had band class in Jr. High school. I only showed up for the first class. Several of the other drummers were bullies!! One being the one I mentioned above in the Florida story. I walked into the class with my drumsticks in hand and this new guy was being a fucking asshole, barring me from getting to the drum section on the top tier in the back of the riser. He stood in front of me and held onto the metal railing separating the top from the rest of the riser. He refused to let me go by. I noticed his and on the railing and my sticks in my hand and let him have a good shot with them across his knuckles!! As the railing wasn't gonna move from under his hand and I was holding my sticks by the tips, when they hit, it was like he got hit 2 or 3 times in a nano-second as the first stick bounced off his hand, hitting the 2nd stick which caused the first to hit again followed VERY quicky BY the 2nd!! "Aaawwww, what's the matter? Did you hurt your hand?" Ever since then, he became my friend!!
Odd thing is, all the drummers in the class thought they were much better than me! Unlike them, I never bragged but, I'm the only one of us that did anything with my drumming and got at least SOME notoriety for it!
yes it impacted me long time, probably in some ways. no way around it is part of forming identity and power. not just what happens but how my personality handled it.
Jesus was bullied too...
So was Mohammed.
The "bullying" I occasionally got in Junior High School, was never physical, and never led to any lasting trauma. I even question whether it was actual "bullying"
Learn to fight
Go back
Beat them up
Yeah it was pretty bad and it definitely leaves an effect. even now after more than 20 years later, I'm still not done fixing what they fucked up.
I was bullied for being fat. It helped me see how immoral my life choices were and encouraged me to lose weight.
Yes but let's just say what comes around goes around; I don't feel like sharing my experiences here
I stood up to it.
Now I just document and then sue for incredible amounts of damages.
I was bullied and it made me join a gym and train with weights. Fitness became a priority in my life
Yes, yes, and yes
m not really, no
Yes it is lasting trauma
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