I don't want to see myself with a man because I'm unemployed, is that wrong?

Question

CBecause I can never accept that any man is better than me, it makes me a loser, I feel bad when a man pays my bill, but I don't want to meet anyone because I'm unemployed, Am I being too paranoid?

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Yes. You have a messed up world view. Men usually don't care about a women's job or employment.

Big picture. The biggest picture there is. The entire reason there are 2 sexes, the entire reason men and women play this dance... is to REPRODUCE.

For thousands of years men didn't give a rat's ass about a woman working and her job because it doesn't matter to us.

You thinking your job has anything to do with anything when it comes to romance and couple pairing proves that all of the fucked up ideas of the last 40 years have embedded into your brain.

You have to have a job to date men? You can't court men if they are buying you things, you cannot "depend" on a man. That is the BS of modern times where no one meets and gets to know each other in communities but swipes on phones, the birth rate is in free fall, marriage is dead, divorce is as easy as the fast food drive through and the divorce rates are through the roof, herpes is rampant, 10% of young women are doing porn, endless kids from single parent homes which are statistically way more likely to drop out, get into crime and promiscuity, men should be more feminine and women should be more masculine.

Yeah, go with the doctrine of the last 40/50 years instead of how it worked for thousands of years.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

It's doesn't make you a looser
Look down deep you know that you don't want to ask anyone for anything your proud nothing wrong with that
So if it was to happen a part of you feels guilty or bad. Because that's who you are. But at the same time you need something from a guy. .. and a guy needs something from you.

So if a guy want to take you out. That great they need to be doing it because they want to. Because they like being around you.. and that's great. And that's where every thing should stay. And it would not be talked about any more

If I lived next door to you I would ask you out and I would not even bring up money or a job it would be because I want to take you out

Tamera952 · Accepted Answer

Well it’s all how you look at it. I don’t necessarily think it should be something about a man being better than you—more like you shouldn’t want to be in a position where you’re dependent on anyone else, man or otherwise. I mean, especially long term—that’s not a dynamic that’s helpful or healthy, so you have a point. But that said, accepting help from someone doesn’t make you a loser. You should be grateful for the help, but keep perspective that it’s just temporary, and let that make you more determined to pay it back, or rectify the situation. If you’re unemployed, then your full time job is to get employed. It will make you feel a lot better, and I agree that independence is priceless.

StephanieChick111 · Accepted Answer

I can understand that, but things will turn around. A guy will never turn down a pretty girl just because she doesn't have a job. Hang in there.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

There are many people on this planet better than you in some ways. Some of them are men and some of them are women. That is absolutely true for you, for me, and for every other human on the planet. So, when you say, "I can never accept that any man is better than me" it just means that you are in denial and still learning to accept yourself for who you are.

YourFutureEx · Answer

Dating is not a competition. Even if you start earning, you'll still not be satisfied with this mindset because then you'll start comparing your incomes and on top of that other metrics like who's more hygienic, who's stronger, who has more talents, who dresses better, it never ends.

Dating is about who you are and who he is and do you guys like each other the way you currently are.

Even if you achieve your goal of getting employment by not dating now, what if new issues arise in future that prohibit you from dating? You'll be left single throughout your life.

Don't aim to be equal, aim to be complementary. You can fill the voids in his life by doing his work while he earns and fill your voids, like it has always happened throughout the mankind's existence!

genericname85 · Answer

That's a misandrist thought. Can anyone be better than you in some aspect generally speaking? No? Then you're a narcissist. Yes? Then you're probably reflected and open minded. If your answer is yes but only other women, that's misandrist.

So I'd go about it like this: You're not perfect. Nobody is. Some people will be better at some things than you are but you are still the most important person in your life and "loving someone" doesn't have requirements such as employment. You can love someone That's unemployed right? So you deserve love when you're unemployed. That's just your artificial requirement that is a result from poor self worth which is completely understandable if you're unemployed but That's what it is.

DJB72 · Answer

There's no such thing as unemployed. You may be between paid jobs or undergoing changes in life circumstances, but not having a paying job doesn't mean you're "less" any more than a partner at a law firm is "more". Your value is in who you are, not your current occupation.

If you don't believe me, consider how long it takes a company to get over you leaving. I guarantee the HR department already has a plan to replace literally everyone.

Shiprex · Answer

If financial power is how you see relationships then you're missing out on getting to know someone who may enjoy being kind and generous with you

nawtee_me · Answer

I could never see myself as better than you or anyone else. I have been unemployed before and understand that it happens sometimes. It doesn’t mean that you are less than anyone. What really matters is what you do once you are unemployed. If you are looking for employment then you are trying to better yourself and that says a lot towards your character and who you are.

nudeNhorny · Answer

Do not think that every man would look down to you for that, a lot of men would treat you with the utmost respect whether you're making money or not.
However you do have a good point when it comes to confidence that job brings you, so maybe do not look for a man at the moment, instead look for a job, because it's much better entering a relationship with confidence.

exitseven · Answer

Unemployment happens to many of us. There is no stigma to being unemployed. Go out and have fun. If you lose out on life, they win.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I wish more women had that mentality instead of seeing a man as some kind of replacement for their father that they can run to like a little kid. I find that disgusting and depressing.

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

Guys would rather be with a nice girl who's a waitress at Applebee's then a bitchy woman with a high paying job any day.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Yes you are, you're a woman, some men doesn't care if your employed or not, they only care if you're good or not!

Levin · Answer

What's the job's market like in Turkmenistan?  Also, men don't care about that. Women do.

Jerre · Answer

I think you are being paranoid. I always pay for our lunch or dinner. Your being unemployed doesn’t mean a thing to me.

AviatorTom · Answer

Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all been unemployed. We don't stop living. Enjoy life.

blackeagle007 · Answer

It’s worse for us. Our value is a big 0 is unemployed. I can’t speak for every guy, but if she’s making an effort to do something, even side jobs, I don’t see a problem

Anonymous · Answer

let me guess, you only feel like a loser because you look down on unemployed men

Richardjd · Answer

I'm not financially supior I like to pay for everything

FenixG45 · Answer

I met my first wife when I was unemployed. Temporary unemployment should not be a measure of mate compatability.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not wrong, and it's your personal choice.  I'm also unemployed, so that's one of several reasons why I don't have a girlfriend.

shortster · Answer

You know that is financial dominance; it is just financial support?

chrissykerdock · Answer

men want kisses

Coden7 · Answer

Being unemployed is something you can fix.

jazzy34 · Answer

Are you actively looking for work?

Anonymous · Answer

Teah you need some self-esteem.

dragoblack · Answer

Then don't date until you have a job/income.

Dargil · Answer

Not wrong for you.

noohair · Answer

How bad is the job market where you are?

I don't want to see myself with a man because I'm unemployed, is that wrong?

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