Why is it so important for certain demographics to eliminate male only spaces?

[Anonymous]

There is a program in my home city, Basically a group of guys do shop related stuff, Metal, and wood working. Its been male only for a long time, Its meant to combat the male loneliness issues, and promote male bonding. I can tell you that there are more than 10 people that this program has prevented from committing suicide. Recently a um Karen, for lack of better terms has basically told us that she will have our funding pulled if we dont agree to allow women. Funding mind you, that is actually not hers to pull, Its provided by the members. We repeatedly told her that its actually open to all people, just very few women want to join a club where we do metal working and wood working. She tells us that that is no excuse, that she will file a civil rights complaint if we dont actively recruit women. So now we are being forced to recruit women, or well we won't lose funding but we will lose access to the place we use to have our group.

Why do certain people do this? I get being inclusive but this is ridiculous. I am tempted to rent out a different place and tell her to F Off. Sorry women get women's only clubs, women's only gyms and so on. Why can't men have men only clubs? Whys so threatening about spending time with a bunch of guys working on metal and wood projects, and teaching the next generation valuable skills as well (30% of the members are boys that want to learn it as a trade)

[Anonymous]

As someone who has filed a complaint of sexism in the workplace and won for legitimate reasons, I can tell you, you cannot just decide to file a complaint without very detailed and specific reasons why you have a case. The pure fact that you have open enrollment to anyone renders her argument null and void. You must have clear outlined verbiage in your charter for your group that says, men only, but if there is no such writing, she cannot prove that you have ever prohibited any women from joining your club unless a member has told a woman in the past that she cannot join without clear reason.

Simply having women not show up because it's not something they want to do is a lot different then you not allowing them in at all. I would also look in to where, in your agreement to be allowed to use the space, does it say in writing that you must actively recruit members of both genders in order to secure usage of the space. Now, I don't really understand why this woman has any sway over your club if it is member funded, but if she holds the literal keys to the space, then it may be her prerogative to prohibit its use, but I would fight this if the club has that much significance to people's literal lives, but also know there are other spaces that you guys can probably use rather than deal.

[Asker]

I don't disagree, I just don't understand why she wants to make trouble.

[msmissydc]

If the space is at least passively doing suicide prevention and is a place to talk etc. Depending on your countries rule you could try to make it an official self helping group, which has other rules of inclusiveness and when the broad subject is " to combat male loneliness " you could argue that it shouldn't include women, to help the specific people included already.
I would just be careful to not become an echo-chamber but a place for selfreflection in a trustworthy setting.

Totally side not but subject adjecent, male loneliness doesn't need to be by countered men only places. It may help some people in particular, but generally wouldn't any activity group already be a step to counter that? Get out, speak with people and do what is fun. Mix people together and just do what you like. But these places need to be created as well. They can both run paralel and even support each other.

[OneViewpoint]

@msmissydc

Yeah, I was thinking that including women who are willing to have the "male loneliness" conversation in earnest may actually be a good thing for guys trying to turn their life around. I mean if you think women hate you, wouldn't it be good to find out that's not true for all women? Or, find out why certain women are walking away from certain men? On the flip side, women may find out some of these guys really are misogynist assholes but most of them are simply decent guys with lousy social skills.

Seems like communication with the enemy would be better than walling yourself off in a man cave echo chamber of self pity.

[msmissydc]

Talking with the perceived enemy is always a step in the right direction. It needs to come with self reflection but it's the only way to break prejudices.
I totally agree with you generally! Safe spaces do have their justification of existance.

[RavVid]

While you have zoomed in on male loneliness that isn't necessarily the problem. Women disrupting male-male conversations is the problem.

For instance my mates and I regularly meet up at a bowling club. Women think they can come up and disrupt what we are talking about. They expect to be able change the topic to being all about them all the time. It is extremely goddamn annoying and makes the socializing worthless.

The simple fact is male conversations are good for men's souls. There is a whole lot you don't have to say because you are talking to other men. We need no female voices spaces.

[OneViewpoint]

Private clubs operated with private funds generally have zero legal obligation to include women or anyone else. It gets cloudy if you advertise or take government tax credits, etc. Tell Karen to go suck a drill press.

I think private clubs are fine if people want to have them as long as the membership requirements are not something nefarious. Sounds like yours is trying to do some worthwhile work.

I wouldn't want to belong to a woman's book club partly because I'd feel like I was intruding. Same thing with a Polish accordion club. I'm not Polish and I don't like accordion music.

[DonaldDarko]

I'd just move to another place, go underground say the group is disbanded. Hell meet in an old shed or barn. Even if it takes a few years to ever work metal again it'd be worth it. It could actually be fun for the guys to fight this fucking commie. What does a squad of men do if attacked? If you put your minds to it you can fuck her up good. Post about this on X or some place where other people can see what this vile Bolshevik is doing. She's a piece of shit.

[Kelley1]

Just ignore her. Let her spend her money to file her lawsuit. Don't even fight it. It doesn't matter if she closes that one place. In the current market, there are a huge number of vacancies for renting commercial property. Just move to another place. Likely, due to so many vacancies, you will get a better price.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Just tell her whoever she knows that wants to join can come. Write up rules and enforce them because you know that's what's gonna come next and if you really want to keep it men only, there's legal precedent to have boys only clubs as long as the funding isn't from the government.

[RavVid]

Totally I agree with you. I'd like to join the local men's shed (much the same as yours) but they allow women. And there is one particularly annoying one who has to divert everything to being all about her.

So I have to wait for her to die before joining.

[RavVid]

Locally you can get exceptions for gender specific health. That might be case in your locale and you could drive the men's mental health aspect ... worth looking at that. Find out what the exceptions are in your jurisdiction.

[AviatorTom]

Private clubs that get no government funding can basically do whatever they want as far as limiting/allowing membership. For example, a "Tall People" club is perfectly legitimate in only allowing people taller than 6 ft (182 cm) to join.

[melssvdv]

I remember my ex-classmate who dropped school and wanted to build a male-only gym. After 5 months or so the government canceled it being inappropriate.

[MikeMcMansion]

What a legend, I would’ve got him a lawyer

[MikeMcMansion]

But only if he put a no f@gs sign on the front door

[MikeMcMansion]

Yes, but why?

[ChooChooHaha]

Same reason why they try to eliminate women's only spaces.

[Asker]

It's only trannies doing that. Men want nothing to do with women only spaces, just the deluded drugged up, physically mutilated mentally disabled trans people.

[ChooChooHaha]

Yes.
But It's for the same purpose though.

[CalmUntilAbused]

@ChooChooHaha Okay, that's a deep take, to be honest. With eliminating male only spaces in particular, the reason is to overwhelm men with perceived threats and collapse their mental health. If we look at it in a more general way, the elimination of both male only and female only spaces has the sole goal of disrupting people's sanity, erase mutual trust and thus collapse the society.

[ChooChooHaha]

Yep. It's to show the rest of us we aren't safe. There's no place that we can go, where the powers that be can't get to us.

[ChooChooHaha]

Whether it's specifically about mental health and all that you said, it's a tactic to me.

[ChooChooHaha]

Whether or not.**

[CalmUntilAbused]

@ChooChooHaha Well... If those powers that be force us to be in each other's presence at all times, maybe we can show them what happens when men and women work together against an external threat? It might get... intense, though! 🤪

[ChooChooHaha]

Hahaha. But I agree.

[ChooChooHaha]

By the by, to answer your question:

It's fine by me to have men's only clubs, so long as women get women's only clubs too. I guess I never really cared if men have the option, so long as women have the option as well, and I still don't. No double standards with me.

[ChooChooHaha]

"You don't actively recruit ___."
By the by, said Karen would probably NOT say the same shit to other women for a women's only club. Double standard much?

Sue all she wants. How about this: you don't recruit disrespectful morons who make baseless legal threats.

You said so yourself, if women want in, fine, they just don't want to be there.

Are you actively banning wood shop in your city for women? No. Are you throwing women out of your club for a bullshit reason? No.

[Asker]

You're absolutely right, I don't recruit, but I definitely don't turn them away. One of my fellow members daughter joined a few days ago. We welcomed her with open arms. Anyone who wants to learn is welcome.

[ChooChooHaha]

I should've been more clear. SHE said," You don't actively recruit ___." Why is that her business? Double standard on her part. She'd NEVER say that to a woman re: a woman's only club.

You may not go out of your way to get women in there. You probably recruit fine. Like you said, a member's daughter was welcomed right in. And you said so yourself, that's ok if women want in.

[Asker]

Yeah we had to tell her that we don't have a lot of stereotypical girl things in the group, she said "that's okay, I wanna help my daddy build me a doll house" I said "well we can absolutely do that, sounds like fun!"

[FreyaRed]

Just ostracize her and every simp who sides with her. This could be solved in one week. Why this indignation? Are you bunch of ballerinas?

I'm kidding. lol

[ChooChooHaha]

Ballerina/os are badass. 😅 Don't mess. ☺️

[FunkyMonkee]

So, I can just walk into a women's bathroom or locker room to take a piss, shit or change my clothes and get a shower?

[genericname85]

Cause when men want something for themsel, it's discrimination. And when women want something for themself, it's empowerment.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a feminist. That's just what they do.

[Sal_Monella]

Women should be hired on merit and skill only. If she can do the work and work the hours, hire her.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Boys OF ALL BACKGROUNDS must have lads spaces in which to bond.

[Chazmatazz269]

They have little more than hate in their hearts.

[blackeagle007]

Feminism is toxic period

[OneViewpoint]

Feminism isn’t toxic. Individuals are toxic.

[Anonymous]

Victim culture.

[Anonymous]

Some kind of neo-liberal politics.