What is the biggest problem in today’s dating culture?

[Anonymous]

[Zack-Bann]

I think there’s too much noise.
Too many people telling a young man or woman what makes a good partner or relationship
It’s hard to paint a clear picture


50 50 ? traditional? Open relationship? Situationship?


A couple? A throuple? The square root of pi?


So many different labels and doctrines that make you question if you’re doing it right.


As I reach my late 20’s I noticed that the most successful relationships I witnessed around me were the simplest ones.


Small town boy and girl, met in high school, got married after college, had kids early etc…


But those of us who moved to big cities and got into the post-modern dating scene we ended up spinning our wheels a lot


I can’t name every partner I had (unless I try very hard to remember them all) but I’m still as single as when I was virgin at the end of the day.
Sure I had relationships along the way but they all failed eventually.
And the kicker is I didn’t make any big mistakes: never hurt or disrespected her, never cheated, never neglected her, etc…
And yet there was always some unforeseen reason that lead to a breakup


So yes, there’s a lot wrong with today’s dating culture and unfortunately a single person cannot shift things for everyone

[FunkyMonkee]

The biggest problem I've seen is that the kiddie winkies of today have no idea what the term, "dating" means!! You're SUPPOSED to go out on dates with various people and see which one (s) you get on with the best and eventually narrow down the field to just that one person you feel most suits you and that you might, potentially, wanna spend the rest of your life with!!
What the kiddies think is that, as soon as you get A DATE it means you're going steady and you can't see anyone else and, at the end of the first date you HAVE TO FUCK!!!
In REAL dating world, you'd be lucky to get a kiss after the 2nd or 3rd date with the same person!!

[FreyaRed]

People try to sell themselves as people they don't are. In smaller societies everyone know who is who but on dating sites with gigantic user base it's just food for attention show. "I love books, travels, good food... blah, blah"

[Nikki1989]

Spineless, flaky men. Being anonymous on here, you probably can't see that.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There are too many "today's dating cultures" to account for, which one do you want to talk about:

• Rural India?
• Downtown Sydney?
• Chechnya?
• San Francisco suburbs?
• Near Stockholm?
• Istanbul?
• Madrid?
• Québec?

[NathanDavis]

underground French tunnels...

[NathanDavis]

yes... under the ground level, not the ones going up through the mountains

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Hmmm which means sewers then. Well, dating culture in the sewers, that's easy to talk about, there's no dating culture there lol

[NathanDavis]

that you know of... or, theorizing?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Call it arrogance, but I'm stating it loud and clear: There is no dating culture in under the ground level French tunnels that don't go up through the mountains.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

But according to some questionable rumors, there can be crocodiles

[NathanDavis]

good... so that actually validates its true underground status...

[NathanDavis]

I can definitely see a French crocodile just turning around... instead of eating a foreign...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Lol I didn't see the underground joke coming

[NathanDavis]

you should never expect a serious conversation with me that doesn't come with a joke... nor a joke that hasn't some serious background to it... or undertone

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

... Yes, and that's one reason why some people think you're arrogant hehe

[NathanDavis]

and also why... those who thought I was arrogant, are the ones who still like me the most...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Because they have registered, eventually, that something deeper was going on !

[NathanDavis]

inadequate people trying to date... AND feeling entitled as well... they are their own biggest problem

[Zack-Bann]

As kids we are taught that we all deserve love
What makes us inadequate now?

That’s the existential question that’s the real root of the problem

[NathanDavis]

@Zack-Bann that exact word is one problem... deserve

another problem is the word... "taught"

maybe some people are TOLD, they "all deserve" love... but they are not actually taught, the different meaning of words, you see... "deserve" can mean something based on merit, but it can also mean you are entitled to something.. and that right there, is a conundrum by itself

a third problem with what you just said is "as kids"

as a kid, you're taught very basic and vague, generic things, because your kiddy mind can't comprehend beyond that... what were you taught, and not only taught... but what did you learn? as a teen, as an older teen, as a young adult, as an older adult...

if you're 20's or 30's today... and you still see the world and life as something you were told as a kid, then yes... that would make someone practically inadequate for an adult relationship just because they didn't grow up

and this is not an existential crisis either... it's just denial

[Zack-Bann]

I’m only theorizing what happens to the people who do end up inadequate and entitled.

I myself don’t have any problems dating and I already agree with everything you said:
There is no free lunch.
You gotta earn your keep

It’s true for dating as well.

[KostasKouvalis]

People have gotten way to fragile and sensative. You can't even say you find a certain country boring or dislike a certain food without getting attacked

[lightbulb27]

Trust, over abundance.

lack of training and education.

Truth.

[strateguy632]

Lady say she wants to be same, but don't offer to pay for the meal she ordered

[Anonymous]

Scammers / impersonators - fakes

Basically - it's like venturing outside in the world any other day 😀😋

[Pohjolan]

I'd say AI profiles and more traditional scammers.

[Anonymous]

Confused women that sleep with guys then decide it was rape

[tiredandgrumpy]

woke over common sense.

[OneViewpoint]

The internet / social media.

[Mariogirl09]

That men only want sex

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, because NO woman is EVER like that!!

[Pohjolan]

@Mariogirl09
Statistically you are wrong. The majority want a committed relationship. Hot fuckboys just get more attention making them seem more prevalent than what they are.

[exitseven]

People have no soul.

[jahaims]

Poor values and morals

[beefcakebradybatson]

Flat and/or fat broads !!!

[slatyb]

The man-o-sphere.

[Zack-Bann]

That’s a niche subculture that seems bigger than it is.
It’s easy to think every man is a member when you see how loud they shout

But if you distance yourself from the noise you’ll notice the majority of men don’t even know what the “man-o-sphere” is

[slatyb]

@Zack-Bann But the attitudes about the role of women are fairly common, although less common than they used to be. Ten years ago I saw a lot of disrespect for women engineers in various places I worked.

[Zack-Bann]

10 years ago I started engineering school we had one girl in our class and 70 guys.

Today I work with about a 50 50 split between men and women

Times did in fact change.
But I think it’s important not to generalize based on specific experiences.
That’s what’s called “selection bias”

And I’m not saying that the issue is resolved, far from it even.
But I feel like we spent years debating which gender is the biggest victim of the other which is an endless conversation that leads nowhere.

The constructive thing is to stop pointing at misbehavior and instead rewarding good behavior
That would slowly kill the remaining relics of a worst era