Co-worker tried to kiss me in a shared taxi after a company event

There had been a company farewell event that this co-worker and I attended earlier in the evening. afterward a group of co-workers and myself went to a wine bar close by.

I have a subconscious habit of playing with my hair when I'm tired and as the clock struck 10 30pm I couldn't stop (up at 4am). Said co-worker took this as flirting and made constant comment about how sexy it was when I played with my hair. I made a real effort to stop and just laughed away his comments. Round after round of drinks were bought and soon we were all drunk or close to. We decided to all head home.

As this co-worker and I live a few blocks away from each other we shared a cab. He jokingly warned me he might not be able to control himself and said I should take my own cab.

I was short on cash so I laughed that comment off as well and said we'd just sit on opposite sides of the taxi - we'd be fine.

As we start heading off, he's talking to the cab driver and starts touching my knee. I'm so shocked that I just stare out the window, hoping by ignoring it he will stop. It works for a few minutes, then he grabs my hand and holds on to it.

He starts rubbing my hand with his thumb. I can see he is quite drunk and give his hand a little pat, nothing sensual, just a pat on the back of his hand.

He then says, while I am looking out the window, "I want to do bad things to you." I ignore this and pretend like I didn't hear as I'm becoming extremely uncomfortable.

He starts tugging on my hand to get my attention. I point out that he has a girlfriend. He says "and you have a boyfriend so now we're both f*cked." I don't reply to the comment and point out my house to the cab driver.

I give my co-worker some money for the taxi and go to get out. He wants a hug, so as he has been a work friend for 3 years, I give him a short hug. He uses this opportunity to kiss me on the cheek and as I move away on the side of my cheek next to my mouth. He then tried to move in for the kill and I push him off (as he has moved almost on to me) and say loudly "That's enough!"

The taxi driver turns around to make sure I'm OK as I literally jump out of the car.

The co-worker yells out, as I head up my driveway, "Talk soon, ok?" I don't reply and burst into tears while trying to unlock my door.

I feel disgusting. I keep blaming myself, "Why didn't I pull my hand away? I should have caught my own taxi! Now I look like a slut!" My boyfriend says it isn't my fault, that my co-worker was so drunk he wasn't in his right mind.

I just can't stop this guilty feeling. I didn't instigate any of it, I never said anything provocative to him. I still feel like I'm to blame.

How can I try to get over these feelings?
Co-worker tried to kiss me in a shared taxi after a company event
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