Fooling around with a guy who has a girlfriend

[Anonymous]

So this is the deal...a coworker who lives in another state was in town, we were at a bar after work and were the last to leave. We chatted for awhile and soon it lead to kissing each other, then he tells me he has a girlfriend. I should have just cut it off there, but then we fooled around some more, no sex, but there was definitely some fondling going on. I never just kiss a guy I barely know, let alone a coworker and someone I know there is no chance in a long term relationship with and who is in a relationship with someone else, so I am feeling pretty bad about this. At the same time I'm not. If I had known before we started kissing about his girlfriend I definitely wouldn't have let it happen in the first place, but then I when he told me, I felt what is done is done, so when he kept pursuing I gave in some more. I am single and was in a very, very long marriage with no intimacy for the past few years, so at the same time, I was a little excited to finally be kissed and touched by another man. I am sure all the drinks I had didn't help either. I don't really know what I am asking, guess I want to just get some others perspective on this messed up situation I was involved in. I rarely speak to this person for work related business and will probably only see him in the office 2-3 times a year so I guess it won't be too awkward, I just don't know how to process all of this. I am against cheating and never in my life wanted or thought, even for a minute, that I would be the "other" woman. I am sure this is only a one time thing, but for now, don't know how to deal with this type of situation. He told me he has been with her for 5 years and that they live together, so it is not just a casual relationship on his end. Any thoughts?

[jfungirl]

He will likley not leave her. You deserve better and if he will even kiss you while he has a girlfriend that he lives with its a Red flag he will likley fool around on you.

The fact he told you about his girlfriend was a sign that to him it was just nothing ( sorry) Don't fall for him.

Let it go and him go!

Don't hang on to this lot more men in the world that would love to be with you!

[Asker]

Thanks for the last sentence of your comment! For me, when it started it caught me off guard, but I went with it...he is not really my type, the long distance and the point that he has a girlfriend and did this to begin with meant I wasn't going to pursue him, nor ever give into his advances again.

[heavenonearth]

...is not a good idea. Well it's mainly his fault, but yeah, now that you know he has a girlfriend don't let it happen again. That's all you can do. Just treat it as a mistake and move on.

[Asker]

That is how I feel about it too...this just happened in the past couple of days, so hopefully I will soon be able to let it go and pretty much forget about it...

[heavenonearth]

Yeah, sounds good.

[Anonymous]

Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you're boyfriend did this to you?

You can't do anything about it now. Just think about how you feel and how his girlfriend would feel if she found out and don't do it again. If the guy, who knew he had a girlfriend kissed you, it says a lot about him don't you think? Drinks or no drinks, he should have not of done it and it should have stopped when you found out he had a girlfriend. But what is done is done. Learn your lesson and move on.

[Asker]

That is the reason I feel so bad. Guess I am trying to understand how someone else handled a situation like this before...this is totally out of character for me on so many levels.

[harveykinkle]

I'm a bitch but I see it this way: If he doesn't respect his relationship, why should I ?

BUT if I knew the girl I wouldn't do it!

[Asker]

for sure, thankfully I don't, that would really suck.

[Anonymous]

lol I don't see the problem. I've dated a couple married guys. And guys who were in relationship. And they all offer to leave lol so if you're good enough...he probably will.