Did I kill the attraction by waiting too long? Or is it all on her?

[Anonymous]

About two months ago, I was at a dance with my boys and we were all over the place. I saw a girl, a stunner, and sort of just took her, and we started intimately 'grinding' if I may say. (Yes, we are in highschool.) She was smiling, holding my hands, and grinding very intensely dor a long period of time. After that she kept posting online "Aww man I wish the dance wasn't over." I was then at a basketball game during the day and she walked in along with her friend. As soon as we made eye contact, her pupils dilated insanely. We did not speak during the game, and as they were leaving, without the girl noticing, her bestfriend eyed me, smiling and pointing at the girl I danced with. Basically acknowledging the dance. I laughed it off. I later got the courage to go up to her and talk to her in school a couple times. However I became discouraged as she was with this guy at her locker almost everyday. I tried to interrupt him and basically pull her away, but I wound up awkwardly talking to him and leaving her out. A while after that, I just asked her for her number but she claimed to be in a hurry, seeming flattered and asked me to message her later online. Anxiously I messaged her that day fearing that waiting any longer would kill attraction, and I recieved no reply.

Keep in mind, this was all over the span of two months. So, what happened.. Did I do something wrong or no? She talks to this guy seemingly alot, but they have many classes together.. she seems to be desired by a quite a few men. But she eyes me whenever I see her and even my friend noticed this, as she eyed me even while talking to the guy. I hope I gave enough detail for a good answer. What happened!?

(p.s. both me and the guy are considered 'good looking' in our own respective ways)

Updates

+1 y

CAN SHE STILL BE INTERESTED?

[Anonymous]

Interesting story. My inclination is that your first guess is correct. You had a window of opportunity and you didn't go through it so it became awkward and then it closed. Let me see if I understand exactly what happened here:

1) You mention the first encounter, you led by just grabbing her and taking her to the dance floor. If I understand correctly, when you say you were "intimately 'grinding'" you mean she was rubbing her ass against your hard cock. And when you say she was grinding intensely over a long period of time, you mean she was doing a LOT to initiate and prolong contact with your hard on. If this is true, then she was VERY attracted to you. This would've been a MAJOR green light to get her number, probably even get a kiss that night and definitely set up a date.

2) You saw her at a basketball game and she lit up when she saw you, but you DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK to her? What was this all about? This seems a very far cry from the guy who took charge and pulled her onto the dance floor and showed her a good time earlier. No doubt she was surprised too that you weren't that guy.

3) You say you "later got the courage to go up to her and talk to her." I have to say I'm having trouble understanding this! So you mean, you needed COURAGE to just TALK to a girl who previously, you rubbed your hard dick against? LOL! You're kidding right?

In conclusion, my guess is that yes, you did do something wrong. You should've gotten her number the first night, you had another shot at the basket ball game, and for some reason you find it tougher to speak with her than to rub your junk up against her ass! lol! Next time follow up--you'll get a MUCH better result.

Hope that helps.

[Asker]

True. It was a dance and I was hyped up that day. For some reason I usually have a hard time being comfortable in certain situations, borderline insecurity. Any insight on the guy and her not replying?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. You need to get comfortable having a conversation with her. Think about it this way--you've already done the hard part! She's comfortable with your hard dick rubbing against her ass! Even if you DO still have your clothes on, THAT'S pretty intimate! AND she could've easily told you to get lost! But she didn't.

If I were you, I'd ignore the other guy (he's likely a gutless hanger-on anyway) and just man up and start a conversation with her. IN PERSON! Ask for her number! Get a DATE

[Anonymous]

Yes but you should probably try to make a move quick! She probably has a couple guys telling her outright that they like her. Therefore even though she might like you, you haven't quite registered on her radar, so to speak, because you haven't been quite bold enough (especially compared to the other guys)..

Don't chat her up online, but ask her out in a way that she could rationalize into a "just friends" outing. Say that you're dying to go figure out ice skating, go laser tagging, arcading, etc., and you want someone cool to go with. "When are you free this weekend?"

If she doesn't respond to your message, follow up in person (but don't be uptight)! Just go up to her at her locker, say hi to the guy nicely, but just say "hey Name, I don't mean to be a total annoyance, but I'm trying to figure out my plans for this weekend, and was hoping you got my message. My guy friends (name a few names if she knows them) are cool and all, but I'd rather hang out with someone pretty like you ;) How does a night of bowling (or other activity) sound? "

Keep the tone light and playful! You can even say this in front of the other guy. If you do, it will totally establish your dominance if you can make sure you stay relaxed and calm the whole time!

[Opinion Owner]

* Note, even if she says yes/no to your offer online, approach her in person this way! Claim that you forgot to check your messages, but happened to see her, and it reminded you. Girls have a much harder time saying no in person

[Anonymous]

You proably should have perused her right there and then and got her number, because it now can be a little awkward between you two but Talk to her again and try to get her number. I mean if she says no, then maybe she has lost interest but if she says yes then your back on the right path. :) The guy she was with probably is a close friend, if their not holding hands and kissing then their obviously not together and that's good for you. :) All you can do is try again. And if she is interested, then she is and if she isn't then its best to just move on and find a new girl. Hope this helps. :)

[Asker]

Thank you. I did pursue her afterward and asked for her number. She told me to message her online to get it, claiming she was in a hurry, but she never replied? That's the moment when I basically got confused/gave up. Is this normal for girls to do? Maybe it was what I messaged her?

[Opinion Owner]

Did you message her on Facebook? If so did it show she saw it because I know that faceboo has it where you can say if she saw it. I don't think girls do this normally, I mean she may have been busy and forgot to reply or hasn't checked her messages or she doesn't know what to say. Did she act weird around you last time to talked her? Did she stay quiet or act funny in any kind of way?

[Asker]

I direct messaged her on twitter. She does seem weird around me as we both get an awkward vibe from each other. Even when walking with the other guy, my friend said he saw her look up at me.. however I will most likely pursue someone else instead now.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah maybe persuing another girl would be the best thing. I mean it didn't workout but who knows maybe you guys may eventually down the line later may talk again and something between you might happen but if not, there's plenty of other girls out there and she may have not been the girl for you. :)

[Puppylover101]

The guy is just make you jealous and it worked! So just walk up to get and say you had a good time at the dance then ask for her number if she says ahes in a hurry tell her after school by her locker you'll be waiting for it! Don't say this part to her->Then have sex later!