Apples 2019 keynote for you in a nutshell

[genericname85]

1. A subscription mobile gaming service.

You basically pay 5 bucks a month for mobile games that may have been for free in the store otherwise but they slap renowned developer names on them so it's definitely worth it, trust me. also demos usually show a unrealistically good preview of things. the previews they showed here were underwhelming so you can only guess how much the service is gonna suck.

2. Another Netflix like video streaming service with exclusives that nobody asked for.

Moving on.

3. The revolutionary new iPad.

Opposed to it's predecessors now can... just kidding it's just another iPad. oh wait there IS news. they have a groundbreaking new "smart connector" which looks like usb C that has been used in other devices for 5 years but good on you apple... i bet they somehow cripple it so you can only use apple shit with it.

4. New apple watch.

It now has an always on display and therefore can fulfill the job of the regular watch it was meant to replace for "almost" an entire day on one charge... but you didn't need to know that. you were already getting your credit card ready before i told you didn't you?

5. The new iPhone for poor people.

Rejoice. it can barely keep up with what the competition has to offer now with a shocking 1 (in words one) hour more battery life than the last iPhone... i can't even fathom the impact of that improvement. at least they realized they can't sell a "budget" phone for 1000 bucks anymore (it's 699) so i guess you could say they learned. they're still using the lightning port though, cause you can bet your ass they're not skipping on the 5 bucks fee you pay them for every cable or adapter you buy. of course they also didn't drop the notch like even cheapo china brands do because you're a peasant if you buy this phone. go and buy the 1000 bucks premium iPhone or suffer a phone that looks like a 2016 Chinese knockoff.

6. The new iPhone for people who actually can afford iPhones.

Psych! you still get a notch you moron. what? you think you would get anything worth mentioning for 300-400 extra bucks? dream on. i can't believe they didn't slap 20 lenses on the back of that but they just altered the setup so much that you definitely need to buy a new case. you get an industry standard screen that they advertise as the "best display apple ever made" (which is true but not outstanding by any means cause Sony made one twice as good) and that's pretty much all she wrote.

Look the logo was improved more than any of their products xD

You think any of that is worth its money? I don't.

[Unit1]

"You think any of that is worth its money?"

Customers seem to think so and the businesses tend to think, that the customer is always right.

I wouldn't get it even if it was free.

[genericname85]

Well that's what apple is all about. They are a promotion company not a hardware or software manufacturer.

[Unit1]

Pretty much. If it works, it works. People pay for it. Some others wanted to make money from it.

Same story with marriage and divorce.
It's all about the money, demand and supply.

[genericname85]

though i'm not sure if it's the same for marriage as it is for products you can buy. cause products are less and less differenciated in price by quality, usability, functionality or any sort of objective measure that is inherent to the product. it's all about stupid emotional mumbo jumbo. people buy products to feel good, not because they want something so high in quality, that they may even make it a heirloom. instead you buy shit just for a year or 2 and then buy again instead of spending a pretty penny to have something you can be proud of owning... product quality goes down continuously while the prices still shoot up like crazy. you can see that in any product. not sure if it works like that in relationships as well.

[genericname85]

i mean best example is phones. it is an important communications tool that you'll need pretty much every day of your life for the forseeable future. it gets beaten around, dropped and sat on and yet we think it's a smart idea to design it to be a super fragile glas and metal sandwitch.

[Unit1]

Remember removable batteries and the legendary, indestructible Nokia 3310? The corporations realized that those are not profitable long term, so they started to produce junk, that will be obsolete eventually. They removed the ability to swap batteries and said "it makes the device thinner by a half centimeter". Which is as true as using Windows Media Player to benchmark CPU real world performance.

[genericname85]

yeah well apple goes about it even more differently. there are industry terms that describe objective quality of a product. for example the resolution of a display. apple just invents new terms that sound cool to the technological inept and means nothing to people that know about tech. they clearly show who their customer is. the dumb person who couldn't identify a computer if they saw one. turns out lots of people are that dumb and selling to dumb people is easy, that's why all the other manufacturers follow suit.

i mean samsung is to this day the only manufacturer that really squeezes all features into their devices... too bad they follow apple with the design and try to shove their stupid versions of existing android apps down our throats.

that's why i now switched to a cheapo plastic phone with a 5000 mah battery. it is still glued shut like every modern shit but at least it's made of plastic so i can break the back of it while removing it without worrying, cause replacements costs a few pennies.
i am quite surprised how capable 200 dollar phones these days are. i really don't see the appeal in paying 800 dollar more for a bit more resolution, a better camera and for a device marginally more quick.

[Unit1]

Voila. If you mentioned this in an apple interview, i think you'd be hired and could start working for them right tomorrow. Make money by making it sound really cool.

I noticed that Women especially love iPhones. I know more women with iPhones than women, who don't have an iPhone.

I really wonder how they have the money to buy these iPhones. They're the price of my annual university tuition fee for a bachelors degree.

[genericname85]

apples amploy mutliple spin doctors and certified psychologists and philosophists for exactly that purpose. i'm not better qualified than the people they already pay for that xD

i mean i owned an iphone before and i have to admit it is designed nicely to be like jewelery... which is why women like it but that doesn't make it practical for the purpose it serves.

like i have a few female friends that ask me for advice on a new phone... and i can go on and on about the qualities of the device, all they'll take note of is the "nice color" or some irrelevant bullshit like that.

[Unit1]

Difficult. But hey, pretty junk sells. As long as its pretty and has a high price tag on it.
Like Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Lou Vuitton, Saint Laurent...

[Liam_Hayden]

I never buy new from Apple. I have a few "couple of years old" Macbook Pros that I got dirt cheap from Mac Addicts who always get the newest as soon as it comes out. I use them in my studio because I know Logic Pro inside and out and it only works (legally) with Mac. Most of the other music programs I use, like everything from Native Instruments and Ableton Live work just as well on Windows.

[Swat_]

New logo gives me windows 7 vibes.

Glad there is a new gaming service. Add that to the list of Origin, Uplay, Stadia, Xbox and PS play.

[genericname85]

well those at least have genuine games that you actually may wanna play even though it's annoying to have fucking platform for everey single game... their gaming service seems to be another trashy mobile game platform with super low quality games though.

[copperscene]

No, but I'm not an apple guy. This made me laugh though, because it's true

[genericname85]

well turns out the ipads "smart connector" is just a proprietary connector to attach the keyboard case. even mentioning such a connector as a feature is an insult... to bad i didn't know that when i saw the keynote.

[pizzalovershouse]

no not. wirth. it seems to not give you what others do