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Valentine's Day Should Be For Men Too (Page 2)
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And here I thought it was about celebrating "love" and Saint that defied the Church to marry people... It's just another glorified commercial holiday brought to you by HALLMARK and RUSSELL STOVERS...
Well, it has started to turn into that. But you can celebrate it however you want. I love celebrating Valentine's day and I do enjoy exchanging small gifts and making cute cards and all that, but I always remember the history of the holiday and I don't go buying tons of stuff (especially stuff that is marketed specifically for Valentine's day, since I'm a little grossed out by the consumerism aspect myself).
Yeah. it was cute as grade schooler but now there's to many expectations... suppose your girl expects you to pop the question and you don't... Oy-vey!!!
Yikes well that's a whole problem unto itself.
The biggest problem with this is guys pretty much don't want anything but sex. They can't care less about flowers, teddy bears, or chocolate.
Just get rid of it. It's just a shitty excuse to get people to spend more money anyway. Couples should celebrate days that are importent to them not when businesses tell them to so they can hike prices for one night
Only if you treat it that way.
Nahhh women deserve special treatment as compensation for the fact that they biologically suffer more than men
i dont think any man with half a brain cares to have a Valentine's day special care. as any woman with half a brain knows that a women's day is insulting cause it implies the rest aren't women's day... .
It's a dumb holiday, created by companies to sell the product. "love" should be celebrated everyday. Things shouldn't make you love each other more. But pampering each other is a great idea.
That's not what started it. However, it certainly has turned into that. But it doesn't have to be focused on consumerism if you choose to celebrate it differently.
what kinds of gifts do guys like? obviously girls like flowers, jewelry, some like teddy bears but I don't know what guys like
I usually give my boyfriend chocolate, a handmade card, and another gift like a watch, book, game, etc. Maybe clothing.
Great message. Thank you.
But you seem to be trying to place some of the onus for change here on men, which is wrong. ALL of the responsibility here is on women to recognize their historical entitlement and one-sided view of the issue. It is not on men to TELL you we want to be appreciated and valued just like you do. This is an issue of WOMEN's mentality, and it is YOUR responsibility to change that, not yours.
not *ours
Actually, I have a praragraph for what women can do, as well as a paragraph on what men can do, and this myTake is directed at both genders. But even so, I strongly disagree with you, and if this is the attitude most men have, then it's no wonder we have this problem. It's up to both genders to cooperate to create change, and both genders have a role. If men don't ask for what they want, and make it known that there's a problem, then they can't expect change to take place. That's just not how it works. Women didn't just wait around for voting rights to get handed to them- they made a fuss and asked for what they wanted. And if women had to ASK for fundamental human rights, you'll look pretty dang silly getting up on a high horse over having to ask for chocolate and teddy bears.
So, what you're saying is that men should have to ask women not to be self-centered and entitled? You somehow need us to give you permission to show your love and appreciation for men in the same way men have been doing for you for decades?
No, this is a female problem, not a male one. You women are the ones who need to change, and it's not men's responsibility to change you. You don't need anyone to tell you to do what you know is right. Put on your big girl pants and do what you already know you should do.
Now, your heart was in the right place here with this take, and I applaud you for taking the initiative. I appreciate it. But you failed when you tried to say men have a responsibility of making things fair. Men have been doing their part forever. Now you should start doing yours. That's really all there is to say about it.
I'm not saying women don't share the responsibility. But in order to inspire people to change, you have to help them realize that there's a problem. Everyone has to stand up for themselves sometimes and ask for what they want. Women had to learn that a long time ago, and it's time for men to learn that too. So you can sit there and pout, and blame women, and boycott Valentine's day as much as your little heart desires. But the only person you'll be hurting is yourself.
OK, I'm a man and I'm going to stand up for myself and say what I want. I want women like you to stop being self-centered and entitled and take responsibility for their own failures rather than deflecting and trying to place the blame and responsibility on men. Wouldn't that be a refreshing change?
Who said anything about boycotting Valentine's Day? I am married to a woman who fortunately sees things quite differently than you do. It's just a shame there are't more women like her, but she does do her part to change other women's perspectives on the matter and doesn't try to blame men for the problem.
This is a woman problem, not a man problem. Take responsibility for your problems and stop blaming men for them. THAT is what today's women really need to do.
I am not blaming men. I never blamed men. Blaming men has never been a part of my point or my argument. If you think I'm blaming men, you must not be reading very carefully. My only point is that all of us- as people who are part of a complex and dynamic society driven by the countless and conflicting motivations of billions of unique individuals- have a responsibility to fight for what we want and need.
If I'm not being satisfied sexually by my partner, is it his problem that he needs to magically figure out on his own? Or is it my job to let him know what I need? It probably feels to me like he's being selfish, but he's probably not even aware that I'm unsatisfied. You can't blame someone for a problem that they're totally oblivious to. Well, you can, but it's immature and counterproductive.
Rule #1 for being a grownup: Fault and responsibility are not the same things. Just because something isn't your fault, that does not mean it isn
I total agree with you. You are speaking the truth. Women think they self-center in everything that goes on. That why they have so many issues. That why they have problems in the marriage.
Our family will have a Valentine Day dinner. I theme for the dinner is to reflect on our relationship as a family. How special each one is in the family.
isn't your responsibility.
Show your man you love and appreciate him on Valentine's Day, just like he does for you. Do you really think someone should need to be told that? That's absurd and I think you know it so I'm not going to continue arguing that point with you.
I already do. Just ask my boyfriend about the $400 watch he got out of the deal last year. (I'm the one trying to make progress here- I may be the wrong person to yell at.) But if you think you have a leg to stand on when you get all high and mighty and claim that you "shouldn't have to ask" for chocolates on Valentine's day after women had to ask for the freaking right to vote, you need to get a little perspective.
Bottom line: You're right, you SHOULDN'T have to ask for equality on Valentine's day. In an ideal world, none of us would have to ask for the things we need or deserve. But we don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world where each person has their own perspective and motivations for their behavior, and where inequality and unfairness are complex and deeply rooted issues. That's why we have social revolutions. That's why activists are born. And that's why communication is important in relationships. You're right that in an ideal world, you wouldn't have to ask. But every single one of us has to. And for you to think that you should be the exception to that rule makes you far more self centered than I have ever shown myself to be.
Just boycott the day brother
@TheUglyMan Nah, I don't think that's the right approach. Instead, I think we should just continue to spotlight the bias women have about the holiday. I honestly don't think they see it.
Obviously some of us do considering that I'm a woman and I wrote this myTake. I'm going to bat here but if you want more women to be aware you need to help by telling them how you feel. That's how these things work.
What makes you think women would want that to change? They love valentines day they love getting worshiped, getting gifts etc... Boycotting is the only way.
Stop trying to put the responsibility on men. That's just ridiculous. The onus is not on men to fix women's self-centeredness.
No, but it is on men to communicate that they're unhappy and that there's a problem. If women think men are fine with how things are then they're not going to realize that a change is called for. That's just how life works. Pretending everything is fine and expecting women to magically change their behavior when they don't even know there's a problem is like faking an orgasm and still expecting your partner to give you a real one next time. You're not responsible for women's behavior but you ARE responsible for speaking up. We're not mind readers here.
Brother don't waste time just boycott all this communication for fair treatment on just 1 day. Do you see how pointless it is.
OK, how about I just speak for all men and say right here and now that men are tired of women being entitled and self-centered. How's that? Happy now?
What a fucking joke.
Relax brother no need for anger and fustration. Just boycott simple as that. Unfortunately lots of guys are too scared.
You accuse women of being selfish, but it's incredibly self centered for you to assume that other people should automatically know that something bothers you when you're not willing to communicate about it.
@samhradh_leannan When a husband does not do something special on his anniversary to show his wife he loves and appreciates her, even though she goes out of her way to make him feel appreciated, is it her fault for not telling him to do something? Should he wait until she tells him it bothers her that he ignores her on their anniversary every year? Of course not.
Trying to put the responsibility on her is absurd. You know that, but you're arguing your silly point because your ego won't allow you to admit you're wrong and that many women are self-centered on Valentine's Day. Like a 5-year-old child. You just continue embarrassing yourself. Let it go already.
@TheUglyMan I'm not boycotting Valentines Day because I'm married to a woman who has always shown just as much appreciation for me and paid just as much attention to me on Valentines Day as I do her. When I told her this user is trying to make it sound as if men have some responsibility in motivating women to put in the same level of effort for their men on Valentine's Day, she laughed out loud and called her a name I won't repeat here.
However, I do fully support men boycotting V Day when their women have a worldview like OP here.
Ridiculous...
Yes brother all support is much appreciated good luck in your marriage.
i kind of get what you mean but the OP is saying that guys should speak out if they fdont feel like they getting treated "equally" by their partner in v day. But what she doesn't realise is v day was made to worship women.
Frankly, yes, it IS her fault- especially if she lets it happen multiple times. Because at that point, she is simply letting it happen to her. I have no sympathy for that. If you can't even bother to SAY something, how can you expect your partner to DO something? If you don't value your own satisfaction enough to stand up for it a little, how can you expect your partner to? Ideally, a couple should discuss their expectations for a holiday/event in advance. But if you don't talk about it and things don't go how you want, at least talk about it next time so the same problem doesn't keep happening. People aren't mind readers. They do not always know what is expected of them or what the other person wants. In my own relationship I have had to ask for countless things and communicate a lot about what I want and need. Because, like all other human beings, my boyfriend is not a magical mind reader. It's nothing to cry about. Get over yourself.
You're right, people aren't mind readers. They shouldn't be expected to know their partners don't like being treated like shit. How would they know it's not OK to be entitled and self-centered unless someone told them... or unless they had a fucking brain.
You think not showering them in gifts or whatever automatically means they are being treated like shit? Do you think gifts are what makes a healthy relationship? You can be a good person and treat your partner with kindness and respect, without necessarily getting them expensive gifts and such. Of course you shouldn't have to ask your partner to treat you with common decency. But if you want specific types of special treatment, there's no shame in just telling them that. I've had to in my relationship. Doesn't mean my partner is not an amazingly kind and compassionate person. I have never once thought I was being "treated like shit" just because I didn't get diamonds on Valentine's day. I'm a fan of the holiday- as you can see- but even I have more sensible priorities than that. Come on now.
A lot of men don't appreciate the nice things women do for us. A lot of guys just want sex, which many couples have on Valentine's Day so guys get what they want, too.
valentines is a hallmark holiday. they want you to spend money, so that they can make money. that's how an economy works. it has nothing to do with love
also, it's a reminder to single people that, they're still single
#SINGLEDONTCARE
If you look at it that way, sure. But it didn't start as a Hallmark holiday, and it doesn't have to be about romance unless you choose to make it about that. It can also be a time to celebrate friends and family.
not really. it's about a different kind of love. and, well, Christmas wasn't originally about presents, and that's a christian holiday
ST. Valentines day
Do you know who had the first Valentine Day?
Hint: It was no females involved.
And who had the first Valentine's day, pray tell?
It was Adam and God.
Valentine Day is for everyone not just for females. Males can get Valentine Day items. Males to males can give Valentine gift to each other. It not about sex. It about Friendship.
Valentine's day honors St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, married couples, and young people. When a roman emperor banned the marriage of soldiers in order to inspire them to fight more bravely, Valentine married soldiers in secret, which the marriage-obsessed Catholic church greatly appreciated. When he was caught and imprisoned, he cured the jailer's young daughter of her blindness, and slipped her a note signed "your Valentine" prior to his execution. He was also greatly beloved by children, who were sad when he was imprisoned and threw flowers and notes of love down to him through the bars of his prison cell. That's why we celebrate Valentine's day with notes of appreciation for our loved ones. So, you're right, it has nothing to do with sex or romance. But it also has nothing to do with Adam, and very little to do with God.
You are wrong.
Go to my question and you find out who had the first Valentine.
Do you know why the colors of red, white and pink are used for Valentine Day?
Pretty much every source you'll find on the subject says I'm not.
Many different traditions and concepts have contributed to the way Valentine's day is celebrated and the way it was celebrated in the past. And it has evolved significantly over time. But the name "Valentine's day" and the traditions involving notes or cards stem from the story of St. Valentine. The source you use for your question talks about how to celebrate Valentine's day in a religious context, and how to interpret the colors and traditions in a way that relates to the bible. But it is not saying that Valentine's day itself or the colors or traditions associated with it actually originate from the bible. Valentine's day is not mentioned in the bible.
The Bible talks about love and relationships. I do notice how you female in your 20's what to explain everything and correct everyone. To talk to other people as if they are children. Honestly, you are rude. Try to be nice.
The colors of Valentine Day is related to the Bible. Jesus Love You. He can help you with your attitude.
LOL. We are all adults here. I corrected you because you told me I was wrong when I wasn't. You talked down to me with your very first comment, when what you were saying wasn't even correct. I apologize if I came across as rude, but I don't appreciate being talked down to and corrected when what I'm saying is completely accurate. No one does.
The bible talks about love, and Valentine's day also talks about love. And you are more than welcome to connect Valentine's day to the bible if you wish to do so. However, saying that Valentine's day CAME FROM the bible is simply not an accurate statement. The holiday of St. Valentine's day was born directly from history much more recent than the bible. You can celebrate the holiday in whatever context you like, but it did not come from the bible.
I correcting you. You are wrong. Look in the mirror.
Valentine is a Christian event.
St. Valentine is a Catholic saint, yes. In that sense it is a Christian event. But the holiday traditions were started by a combination of historical events that were loosely related to religion, and the ancient roman holiday Lupercalia. You can have your own opinions about what Valentine's day means to you personally or how you want to celebrate it, but I am not wrong about the actual history of Valentine's day. Do a little research if you are still confused. Have a nice day!
in japan valentines day is for guys and white day is for girls, guys get chocolates on valentines day and then give back on white day
But Valentine's Day is fun. You get to look at all the single girls that aren't getting shit.
You are speaking the truth. For the truth will set you free. Valentine Day is for everyone. It really a family thing. Parents and children. Valentine Day has nothing to do with vaginal
or penis. It a time to said thank you for being in my life. Valentine is not an erotic or sex event.
Let's turn this around and take all the romance stuff away from that day
I’m not sure why that’s necessary.
Because I bet that to some girls it's not even enough what the guy does
Still unsure of the logic that’s happening here
Don't girls have enough romance the rest of the year?
How do you define "enough" romance? What harm does a little more do? And no, not necessarily. Most of us are not showered in romance every day of the year.
you want romance, you do romance.
Let's eradicate the whole day while we at it brother
I agree. Love is for everyone ☮️❤️❤️❤️
No it's not. Only men with looks, money, status and height get this "love" you're referring to.
In Japan, they have something like that before Valentine's day.
Here is a link to it: www.usatoday.com/.../
Good to see some guys have seen valentines day for what is.
Don't really want anything other than to get a break from holidays
I've always known that.
i fullheartedly agree with this mytake.