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Is It Better To Be Single Than In A Relationship?
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I am 35 and never been married. Granted I look and act like I am in my 20’s! (ego stroke, ahh feels good..) I once heard that if a man makes it to the age of 30 without being married he is either really intelligent or very unattractive. I like to lean towards the first one! but being single is great! well I’m kinda single. I think after the age of 30 you feel single even if you are dating. Girlfriend/boyfriend? Well, they are like buses and there is always another coming. The truth is I am dating someone in Japan. I don’t think the long distance is a good idea but she makes it work and I am afraid of her.
In my 20s I met an amazing girl, she was smart beautiful funny and enjoyed sex as much as I did! In fact the first time we went to bed together we didn’t get out for about 5 days!! No joke.. After the five days we realized that we were running out of food and the sheets were getting crusty. This was magical pornographic moment.. I think it was the first time in my life that I fell in love/lust and wow what a drug!!
Our relationship was about 6 months old when Sharon moved in with me (bad idea). We were so incredibly in love that every thing was perfect, well except for when it wasn’t.
Fathoms below!!One day Sharon and I go to a gay bar in Santa Barbara called “Fathom” which brought to my mind big gay pirates on the high seas, exploring the fathoms of their partners, sorry.. We were the only straight couple in the bar, no idea why we were there, maybe because we were not supposed to be? I order us a cosmo, the most popular drink at the time and we drink one, two, three each. The bartender is VERY heavy handed and in a dirty pirate way, winks at me every time I get another round. We sit in the corner together mildly intoxicated with love and liquor. I felt the love for her as strong as any emotion I have ever felt and I decided to say one of the stupidest things I have ever said in my life. “Sharon will you get engaged to me?”
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AHHH!!!! Dumb ass!! This was such an idiotic thing to say because I had no idea what it meant!! I thought getting engaged was about at serious as a promise ring. Something couples did when they were in love and were thinking about getting married, I didn’t know it was some sort of contract!! I was in a gay bar – about three STRONG drinks to the wind and I was asking Sharon to marry me. And I didn’t even know it. She said yes, we cried and then I cried again when I realized what I had done.
Sharon to this day remains one of the most amazing girls I have ever met, would we have made a good couple? NO WAY! 13 years later I realize that there is NO WAY I could have lasted longer than 2 years with this girl no matter how much I loved her. Granted she has changed since we first met and I no longer know her. I recently found her wedding pictures online. She ended up marrying the “other” guy that was always butting into our relationship. It was hard to see those pictures at first, since it brought to my mind a life that I could have had. Then I snapped out of it. HELL NO!!! I no longer found the girl in the picture even attractive and reading her comments on photos told me that she was as acidic and sarcastic as ever. Not my type.
Now this is were it gets sticky. Maybe I am wrong? Maybe if I had married Sharon I would have had a wonderful life? We could have really worked in a highly dysfunctional way (ignore my cynicism) I keep disqualifying everyone I meet, even the wonderful girl in Japan I am dating. Why would I do this? Because it is true? That I am such an amazing guy I am never going to find my equal? Or is it a lie? Is it really that I am only deathly afraid of getting married and making any and every excuse to stay out of it?
No matter how I reflect and second-guess myself I will still remain single and my heart will continue to harden. I will become more and more selfish single guy and seek out more and more shallow relationships to slake a thirst I can never quench.
WOW, So serious!!!
I will eventually get married but we are both going through a very selfish time. This happens to a lot of people in their thirties and it's called CAREER! I don’t know why but most of my friends are the same. I figure once I pop out the other side and am a little more stable I will want to settle down. (that is if someone can handcuff me to the alter) So if you are thinking about tying the knot? Just go for it! you can always get divorced in 5 years!
Mike Masters
Writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
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Which is more sexy on a guy?
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mjcatl
asked 8 hours ago
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