He's just telling me what I want to hear.

Question

I've been dating a guy for all most a year now. I've met his whole family but he won't spend more then 2 minutes with mine, he also won't get to know my friends. I'm 19 his 21 I wanna go party and drink, he wants to stay home and in turn wants me to not party or drink either. We don't live together or anything  He talks about our future and our kids (years down the road) he gets jealous when I get a text no matter who it's from. He gets upset if my mom texts me while he and I are hanging out because it's supposed to be "our time" but when we do see each other he seems distant or he sleeps. He and I got into a fight today because he asked if my ex has tried to see me (my ex and I are just friends now) I've never really cheated on my current boyfriend and I never will. I said yes because my ex showed up at my work (so I was 100%honest with my bf) well he got real p*ssed off in the end he apologized for getting upset that he just wants me for himself and that he'll work trusting me and giving me more freedom with out getting up set ... everyone around me says he's just telling me what I want to hear and that he's probably cheating on me and that he's no good I should end the relationship ... I don't know what do do or think anymore :( anyone have any suggestions or advice?

Deeplove55 · Accepted Answer

He is very controlling obviously he does not want you to have a life and wants to be the center of your world. A lot of red flags here, hon and you know it.  Men like this are insecure and feel they have to control the woman to get her to do whatever he wants so he can feel like he is all that.  He is selfish and wants no one else to enjoy you but him and if you keep letting him do this, it will get worse.  if he doesn't want to hear it, can trust you and get mad, then its time for you to go. The writing is clearly on the wall that this man has some control issues. of course he is no good. That is no way to live. You want a man who is laidback and stress free, drama free and gives you space, right? Listen to your heart and don't ignore the signs. I'm telling you, leave this man or try to talk to him about how this makes you feel and that you want this to stop. If he won't listen or goes back to his old ways, end it.

analy · Accepted Answer

guess what girl..ur relationship is like mine..lol..how werd it thought I was the only one.but hey..if he give YOU a reason to believe he's cheating on you then go ahead and leave him..but listen to what he's gotta say..itll all work out in the end..my boyfriend is finally actually changing..if you see he's trying..then what more can you ask for..heres the real deal..if you "love him"..then you will make it work..work with him..i promise..itll be worth it..ur relationship is you and him. not you,him,mom,dad,and all ur friends..trust me on this girl..

reallyconfused33 · Accepted Answer

Maybe he doesn't feel secure with you for some reason and it would be worth talking to him to find out why and if there's anything you can do to ease his trust issues.  And of course, he also needs to work on his control issues.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Im going through this right now, she says she needs her space, and she's out partying and going to clubs and getting drunk all the time. He does care about you a lot I will tell you this right now, and what your doing is not cool.

My girlfriend is doing the same thing you are doing, except she doesn't talk to me or call me or reply to my texts. and I've been with her for 3 years. Don't do it cause ur hurting him. Trust me get back with him, and stop the sh*t ur doing. Cause mine is doing this to me right now, but another thing I don't do is I go to all her family things and I love spending time with her family.

But stop ur madness and talk it out with him, trust me he will change. I was begging for mine back and she was like stop your pushing me away, but really your pushing away

tatata · Accepted Answer

sounds to me like you boy friend is insecure. how can he be angry if you mom calls you ? that's just lame and he seems like a controling freak too. don't party, don't do this, don't do that,..blahblah. and yet when together, he sleeps or he is distant? please you need to decide if you really want him seriously. and you need to tell him how you feel. don't bottle things up at all. its not good. you need to tell him the exact things you just posted on this site so he can come back to his senses. speak from you heart and follow your heart.

oh yeah please I need your opinion on my most recent question I posted. thank you

confused4now · Answer

Sounds like he still has a little growing up to do... lessons to learn, etc.  My ex... I didn't want her to hang out with a heroin addict and thief who spontaneously dabbled in prostitution.  Oh, same goes for a few pot heads and drug dealers.  That being 100% true, it's not that I'm overly controlling or that I'm a bad guy or anything.  I was just genuinely concerned.  Anyway, my point is that you're right.  He shouldn't be trying to run your life the way he is.  As for the drinking and parties and stuff, be careful what you get yourself into.  I wouldn't use his issues to prove how stupid I am by getting drunk and passing out with some random guys.  That'd make you as dumb as him.

preece · Answer

in a relationship you need to find someone that compliments you, not someone who's going to change all your ideals like you wanting to party and for him trying to stay home and kick it... but if you adore him soo much. there is always room for change, so you should talk to him and try to work it out, tell him how you feel

TexPlayboy · Answer

He sounds controlling, and may be dealing with a low self esteem.  But that is not something you can fix.  It sounds like you can do better, give that a try. Good Luck, James

L-I-F-E · Answer

lol this is the type of guy whos going to drag you down,and would make you fall for him until you lost yourself and be dependent on him...run for your life now that its early..

Maxfield · Answer

Ditch this guy before it's too late.  Controlling about text messages?  Nothing he says matters, I wouldn't believe any of it.

larry69 · Answer

I would seriously look at the situation and see if you really love him? I personally would think he is controlling and dump him

hottiechic99 · Answer

sometimes a relationship can feel like a prisoner and warden relationship instead. if he's to sissy to meet ur family he's not good enough for themi think you could do better!

He's just telling me what I want to hear.

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He's just telling me what I want to hear.

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