I'm trying to figure out what I should do with this situation. I love my ex SO much. In my heart I believe we are meant to be together. So, basically, we broke up 7 weeks ago, He 'loves me very much, but feels like we don't get along well enough." He said he understands that the way I acted (jealous and argumentative and mean sometimes) was because I was hurt in the past, but he feels like after a year and a half we haven't gotten where we should be and he doesn't feel like the changes will come in a reasonable amount of time. He also said that with all his stress from work, he doesn't want to "come home to his wife yelling at him". In the first week, I asked him to think about it and he said he was going to analyze things and talk to people and see what he could do. He said he thought about it and came to the same conclusion. So, for about 5 weeks, I did the beg and cry and "convince" thing. He just kept saying the same thing over and over. About a week and a half ago, we had a talk.we cried and he said he was sorry but just felt he was doing the right thing. I asked him if I should just leave him alone for a few weeks. He said I could do that, but he didn't know that it would change anything. He also said that my "begging" made matters worse because it made him feel like we were still arguing like we did before. Well, we work together, so it's been hard to give him 'space', but this past week, he went to the beach with his family. He got back yesterday and I saw that he was online, so I sent him an IM and asked how his trip was.we talked for a little bit and then I said "I'm glad you had fun. I guess I will just see you on Tuesday".he proceeded to say "It was weird without you there. It was lonely. And yes, I missed you"".then he said that he had mentioned me a few times and that just because he didn't write/call, doesn't mean he didn't think about me or miss me. Then we said goodbye and that was it. I guess what I am trying to figure out, is why he told me that. I know he's probably hurting too.but if he doesn't call because he doesn't want me to be upset and feel like he's giving me "false hope", then why tell me THOSE things?
It sounds a lot like my situation with my ex. But we both have to realize the line between just being nice and actually wanting to get back together. I think your ex was just being friendly. Of course he still cares about you, after a year and a half. He is going to miss things you both did together, and times when you'd normally be with him. But I wouldn't see it as the fact that he's giving you false hope. I don't think he's trying to lead you on in any way. Take everything he says with a grain of salt, because otherwise you will end up even more hurt. Trust me.
The best thing to do IS to just not talk to him for a few weeks. It will help you cope a lot easier, and it will give him room to really decide if the break up is the right decision. I know it's hard to do, but it does not sound like he's trying to give you hope that you'll get back together. I think he's just a little confused too.
Good luck, because I am in the same situation. At least your ex didn't run off and get a new girlfriend within weeks. :-/
I have another post you can read if you would like...it's more recent and has a lot of updated info in it that you can get MORE confused about (like me)..lol! - 2 months ago
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