Do girls ever make the first move and ask guys out and initiate the date and relationship? How rare is it?

You know what they call girls that ask guys out? Man-eaters. If you are a woman, they call you a cougar. It is seen as a masculine trait and most guys are completely turned off by it. This isn't about women feeling it is a man's job, it is about guys not liking it and letting you know that by coming up with all these uncomplimentary terms for strong women.

What a woman should do is show her interest. She does that by smiling, keeping her focus on you and otherwise showing that she is interested. It isn't a matter of girls being lazy. It is a matter of most guys thinking the girl is being pushy and knowing that when a girl asks you out, they are thinking about a long-term commitment. I can tell you I would have no problem asking a guy out if it was socially acceptable. But if I did, I wouldn't just be eye-balling you for sex, I would totally be considering you as a boyfriend. Most guys realize that and it is too much for them, so they would rather pass.

It sounds to me, though many have given you a lot of great feedback, that you are just frustrated about dating and that the only answer you want is for the world to change and girls to start asking you out.

lol. well I asked out my boyfriend of 8 months and he said yes. I was tired of waiting so I took control even though we are broken up now.. but the doesn't mean it can't work for other poeple. the break up was my fault.. I broke up with him because I fell for another guy. but I'd say 8 months is a pretty good relationship and honestly I think I like him again we talk a lot in school and me and my current boyfriend are having troubles and it just might work out again between me and my ex.. because me and him just click and I like that. if we date again that would be the thrid time. maybe we are meant to be.. but in my opinion girls only ask the guy out if they have been waiting for a little while for the realtionship to happen and it can be rare or common depends on the place..i don't think there is anything wrong with going after what you want.. what's to lose? well that's my experience I hope I helpd you understand a little..

I don't just because I'm always afraid that the guy would reject me and because in the past guys who I like don't like me back so if they want to be with me I figure they will make the first move. I'm very shy around guys I like. Plus I also don't want guys to think I'm desperate for a boyfriend at all!

The reality is that women are programmed for relationships to the point that if we are the ones to pursue the guy we will overwhelm you with how quickly we move. When a woman meets a guy she likes and she sees he has an interest in her, I can tell you we quickly start imagining the future, how you will be as a boyfriend, what our first date and our first year anniversary will be like, etc. I am exaggerating a bit but not much. We are definitely programmed for thinking about relationships.

Guys are not and I know you need time to get to know a girl before you can slowly come to the conclusion that you would want to open up to her and connect emotionally. Most girls don't understand this difference between the sexes though. So, if girls did the pursuing, we would practically run you over in our rush to get to a relationship and in the process most men would feel completely emasculated. Further, and more critically, relationships don't last or work well if both people are not equally wowed and hot for each other. I have seen relationships where the woman's clock was ticking and she really pursued and made the relationship and marriage happen, and they have ended in divorce with the woman finally completely burnt out by continuing to have to put all the energy into keeping things going. Further the men in these situations often feel that it was not really their idea to get married, or have kids, and opt out of being a good partner, instead continuing to act like the single guy they were.

I would never be the one to pursue the guy and I would advise any younger girls I know to not do it either. When a guy is interested in you and makes it clear by pursuing you, that is when a relationship stands the best chance of working out from my experience.

It seems guys in North America are frustrated that gender bias issues are only tackled when it's a matter of society expecting something from women, but men's responsibilities remain the same.

It sounds very rare for a girl to make the first move there, but I'd argue that it's even more rare in Europe, although here (based on what my friends and I think) guys think chasing women is fun, not a burden.