How often do girls approach a guy and ask for a first date?

Question

I've NEVER had a girl ask me for a date. Not once. Maybe it's a generational thing because some young guys say it happens fairly often but I'm a bit skeptical. Girls, have you ever asked a guy for a first date? If so, how often have you done it? Guys, have you ever had a girl ask you for a first date? How often?

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

Sort of. The first two dates I went on the girl approached me. It's open for debate if they technically asked me out.

The first time in school a girl sent her friend over to tell me she "liked me" and wanted to go out with me. A couple days later I saw her alone in the hall where nobody could see me embarrass myself. I asked her out. But did she really ask me out first?

Second time, there was a girl in my class I didn't know - I don't think I even knew her name. One day I walked in and she abruptly asked, "When are you going to ask me out?". So I asked her out on the spot. But didn't she just ask me out? After the first date she asked me out again.

More recently I've had women ask me to do things - dinner, hiking, etc. In some cases it was obviously platonic. In at least one case I know for sure she had long term intentions (which I wasn't interested in).

"Maybe it's a generational thing"

I think it was pretty common when I was in school. Nobody thought anything of it - not like it was backwards or anything.

Then there were the Sadie Hawkins dances which we had every year in school. I never got asked to one though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_dance

Massageman · Accepted Answer

It was for our Christmas dance at our high school, where the girls are supposed to ask the guys.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I've asked out guys, but not until my mid to late 20s, early 30s when I was more confident and realized me "waiting for a guy to approach me..." wasn't getting me anywhere.

I used to be that girl that thought, "If a guy likes me, he'll ask me out!" But that mentality didn't get me anywhere, so I figured why not ask a guy I -think- likes me and see what happens!

I got rejected each time. BUT... let the record show women can and will ask guys out, and we get rejected too!

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I’ve always been a bit shy and have never done it, I grew up in a traditional country, where men do all the asking out.

Avicenna · Answer

It happens sometimes. It's happened to me three times.

WhiteSteve · Answer

I kind of feel like more girls made the moves on me than vice versa. Most situations evolved kind of organically over time, and usually didn’t involve formal asking out and dating. It was all on the college scene, so you’d just meet at a bar or party, or you’d be at a bar or party with some girl you kind of knew, and you’d just end up going home together and it went from there.

I’ve actually never been on a real date in the traditional sense unless it was with an established ladyfriend of some sort. But there’s never been a “hey, I think you’re cute and I was wondering if you’d let me take you out sometime” kind of thing, that just wasn’t really the dynamic. I kind of assumed that was more of a trope from TV and movies, to be honest, haha.

The question as it applies to my scenarios is “who (probably drunkenly) tried to kiss who first?”, and I’d say that’s maybe 50/50, or even a slight edge to the girls kissing me first. There was a lot of “hey, come over here, I want to show you something….” kind of things, and they’d pull me off in the cut somewhere and jump me, haha. I actually have had a couple complete strangers walk up to me and start making out with me, with few to no words exchanged beforehand. I didn’t stay in college for the better part of a decade because I liked taking classes, lmfao

HawkPerception · Answer

There's been a single girl in my life that's asked me out when I worked as a busboy at Mr. Greek. It never happens to me, and she was an attractive Italian girl. I was excited as hell to talk to her and get to know her. She was the sweetest girl, and we talked and chilled 24/7 for 2 weeks straight. She did give me a disclaimer that she was bipolar with a learning disability, which I told her I didn't see as a problem as she was an incredibly kind and attractive girl. But there was one day that made me realize just how bad it was, and it did deter me from continuing it.

Ever since that day, I've never been asked out again, but it was a blast.

To be fair, I don't go out much, so I don't really put myself in the position to be asked out, but I'm sure it happens more often nowadays in comparison to the past.

CozyCoffin · Answer

Many have been sold the idea that it's the man that should take the leap, whether it's over time, online, or a spur of the moment thing, either offering a cheesy pick-up line with the intent of making them laugh before asking, or he has a drawn out thing before asking. I've only ever seen that. Once I experience it, it wasn't asking for a date but, her asking me to be her long distance boyfriend. I shot myself in the foot, thinking that she would just ghost me like my mom did on several occasions but, have regretted it ever since. My point is that I consider such thing as a myth. I have yet to see or hear of anything in person. only claimed by ladies online.

NathanDavis · Answer

hmm...

in my case and own experience happens to be that girls do approach me first, most of the times... however, you're asking about a first date, or going out, so, not exactly the same thing

while some of them do approach me and do express their interest on going out too, not all of them do this, no... so when asking for a -first date- I would say it is more balanced or perhaps, leans more to me being the one that suggests this first... or at least 50/50

Anonymous · Answer

I've had it happen once. That is, actually said "would you like to go out with me".

I think some women will do everything short of actually asking. The reason I said only once is because I've had others approach me, chat me up, and then eventually just walk away. And I got the impression they wanted me to ask them out. So I'm not counting them.

I think this is a soft spot with some women on here. Like they consider an insult if the guy doesn't ask. Because I've said many times that I don't ask women out and I catch flack for it everytime I do. But my response is always the same. "If she's unwilling to ask then she's obviously not that interested".

steveusna · Answer

I have had women ask me on a date and I accepted if I was interested in them. I have had women ask me for my phone number whom I was most definitely not interested in going out with. I told her that I would give her my phone number is she promises to never call me.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I can’t say I’ve ever had it happen. Every date, every relationship started because I made the first move.

but then again I’m not the most approachable person either I can come off as intimidating or so I’ve been told. And I have a stone face neither of which is on purpose it’s just how I am when by myself. Though I do try to smile at people and give em a nod or say hello as I pass.

matchrestore · Answer

My wife didn't ask me out, but she did tell me that I should ask her out.

msc545 · Answer

Not so much directly asking me oout, although it has happened a few times. More like unexpected physical contact - for example:

A woman once came up to me in the airport, and began kissing me. We were both waiting for the same flight and going to the same city. These things kept happening on the plane, and we spent a few days together.

A woman basically did the same thing when I was in college, and that led to a long relationship.

Apple1996 · Answer

I've asked out almost all of my previous boyfriends/guys I went out with. I'm surprised by the results cuz I didn't think it was to rare for a girl to do this

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

She handed me her number on a slip favor and here we are at 22 years later. It happened once

JacobJordan · Answer

I haven't. Though apparently I have had women hit on me and apparently they still do regularly. I have no idea if they do but my wife says it happens a lot and I have no reason to think she is lying

LadyKitty · Answer

All the dates I have been on I took initiative. I have never been the type to sit around and wait to be asked out.

tiff_tiff · Answer

I have never done and honestly I'm too scared too. I just drop hints and let the guy do his thing.

LazerBean · Answer

I never asked guys on dates. That's not something my family is into lol But my husband got asked out by I think 2 or 3 different girls.

BikingTrail · Answer

i haven't. I've had girls talk to me and I've had the impression they were interested though

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have done it a few times with mixed results.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I did once or twice, but that's about it.. Definitely is not happen often.. LOL.. I have gotten asked for my number a couple of times..

Sparkie460 · Answer

I've had a couple women ask me out. Unfortunately I had to turn them down since I'm married.

Twalli · Answer

A girl I knew used to ask out guys, but stopped because all of her relationships where she asked out the guy ended sooner than the ones when the guy asked her out.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't see this ever-changing just like earthquakes and hurricanes will never go away

dolemite58 · Answer

I’ve had girls ask for my number on rare occasions but one directly asking for a date is even more rare. I think that’s happened maybe like twice in a life time.

Unit1 · Answer

It Never happened to me. I don't expect them to have the ovaries to do that.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I've had it happen four times that I recall.

KillinItHard · Answer

About half of my dates where initiated by the females.

Likes2drive · Answer

It doesn’t happen ever to me, would be nice if it did since women never show interest

AviatorTom · Answer

Never happened to me.

Z1pTD · Answer

When I was like 15-18 girls would always ask Oh to be 17 again lol

Liketotry · Answer

I have never been asked by a woman to go out with her

XXblack88 · Answer

I've never asked a guy out before.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

I would imagine not very often

Slim57 · Answer

Never but I've seen my friends asked

RavVid · Answer

Fairly often.

Guido · Answer

Never happened.

How often do girls approach a guy and ask for a first date?

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