Ok so I dated this guy for about 6 months and we were suppose to be just buddies and he started calling a little more and coming over and not wanting sex. We were like a couple a close one, but the thing is he had a girlfriend. So he told me and I excepted it because were in college in another state then his girlfriend. So everything is going good to the point were his girlfriend was getting on his nerves so bad he said he want to be with me, later when we got into a fight, he said he never met it and he was drunk. Ok the point it was about 4 months into it and I got pregnant with his baby, the stress was so bad with his girlfriend he would yell at me and push me away to the point I was crying and not able to sleep but I never told him that. So something wasn't right and I never told him I was pregnant until I had the misscarriage which is wrong I know. And when I told him it was like he went blank, he had only told me that he had to take a test, at class. Me and him are like 5 months apart he's younger then me. Ok my question is we still talk to this day, do you think its more so because we lost a kid or that he still has feelings for me or both. I don't know what to think anymore because its like I don't know what to say to hiom when he texts me he says he writing to check up on me, he moved to another state after what happen he transfered because of his money or something, I don't know, but your options woud help thanks.
Wow. Let me see if I have this straight. You were just friends, then he started getting closer to you. Then he started having problems with his girlfriend. Then you got pregnant. Then his problems with his girlfriend got worse, and he took it out on you. Then you had a miscarriage, when you hadn't told him about the pregnancy. Now he has moved and is only checking up on you. Is that about it?
He is hurt. He doesn't trust you. Yes, he was wrong to start something with you while he had a girlfriend and that stress contributed to the miscarriage. However, you didn't tell him you were pregnant, and only let him know when his child was dead. If you still want a relationship with him, you need to apologize to him for not communicating about the sleepless nights, etc. and the pregnancy. How can a guy provide for you, if you are not communicating your needs?
For the future, you need to grieve the loss of your child, expelling the pain of the loss and allowing the tears to irrigate the wounds in your soul. Otherwise, you will react to the pain of this situation ever time something reminds you of it in the future. Let Christ cleanse the wound and suture it up for you, so it can heal. Then expect Him to allow others to probe and exercise it so it doesn't end up callous scar tissue for the rest of your life.
My final recommendation is that you read the book "The Five Love Languages." This will help you understand communication between people better, and it might help you understand where some things went wrong with this relationship. Talk to God, as a friend, and let Him work in your heart, to heal the wounds, and prepare you for any future relationships.
This question is for white guys. Which ethincity is more your type? Blacks? Scandinavians? Asian looking? Vietnamese? African? Filipino? Indonesian?...
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