Girls... do you agree? Hot guy = intimidating?

Question

So, all my girlfriends that are just friends say I'm really good looking and are surprised I've NEVER had a girlfriend before...

I'm 26, really built... and when I take off my shirt, I kinda look like one of those "Chipendales"... I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I just want to know why I can't get a girl. I'm an open guy, and quite confident, but not stuck up. Sometimes when I talk to girls and ask them out for coffee, they run away from me... Why? Well, they never talk to me again... It just seems like girls are really "scared" of me... Is it because I'm too fit? Too good looking? Or actually really hideous? I dunno... But is there such thing as if your too good looking, girls would be scared of you? And it's up to the guy to keep initiating things? So confused!

feyspirit · Accepted Answer

Ya know...for what it is worth...I do think there is some merit to what you are sayin. People tend to gravitate to people they precieve as being "in their league." I saw a show on this exact thing...and people who were a 4 tended to choose 4's...people who were 8's tended to choose 8's...sometimes a person will go for someone who is slightly "out of their league" but ususlly that is not the case.

As to your last question...

um...probably so in your case. Because you are above the norm, most girls probably don't believe that you would be interested in them...so, in order to make that abundantly clear, probably you have to do the chasing.

Case in point...(sorry don't know if this will help, but...it is an example of this exact thing)

There is a man who I precieve as being out of my league. He is an astro-phyicist and a teacher...I am a student...who never had any college until recently...He is hot as hell..or to me he is...and...well, truth to tell, I am fat, and have never been a classic beauty...So, when he started persuing me...quite frankly I didn't believe it...I thought I was imagining it...just wishful thinking. Now, 8 months in to knowing him, I am mostly sure...lol...(tho, there is still a bit of uncertainty).

Lastly, I think the other piece of this is that when some one who is very good looking cruses a gal, and she is uncertain as to her "acceptability" she assumes that the man is probably just looking for a one night stand. Which can be frightening, or intimidating...so, she might run away...

Anyway...That's what I think...

good luck to you

girlgonemad · Accepted Answer

girls on the buttom are right...some girls would just wanna sleep with you or hangout with you have drinks and you will sometimes end up being a decore..they would be too scared to fall for you becuase of the fear that you will have other girls chasing you and they don't wanna deal with that...

the best thing to do is find someone who is or could be in your level comes to looks..good looking people deserves good looking ones I don't say averages dont,or if you noticed,its always not both of the couples are good looking try and learn from that,why you think?its because that's the norm..

kate_lenz · Accepted Answer

yeah, it is super intimidating. I've been around guys that look so good that it makes you think you are nothing compared to them. there are a lot of girls that aren't really confident so by you looking amazing their self esteem goes down. its sorta weird but its true. and just a little fyi, most guys that are they way you describe yourself are complete assholes(although your different, you seem genuine) so some girls just don't want to deal with rejection, especially by someone that looks amazing

Petersmithing · Accepted Answer

Actually, this topic kind of opened my eyes. I never thought women were so insecure. And many of their problems are so similar to most men. You know sometimes guys have the idea that women don't face the same issues as we do.
But we are pretty similar.

I can related to this topic. I am an attractive guy and my ex told me several times that initially she was intimidated by me. Actually, in the beginning of our relationship, she felt as she didn't deserve me.

I guess just like her, other women out there think the same way. I noticed now that I am back in the dating scene. That plenty of women get shy when I speak to them. It also gets quite annoying because most of the time, I need to make the approach, and talk to women. Do all the work to make them feel more at ease. Sometimes I would like to relax a bit and let them work a bit.

I don't have the same problem with all women. When I speak with more confident and attractive women. They feel more at ease and I prefer to speak to them, since it is a lot easier. And honestly, I like confident women. I dated an insecure girl and it was too much work.

But thanks for all the replies women left here. It was very insightful.

Chaaz · Accepted Answer

Hey mate. I'm like you, almost exact, but I'm 24. Built and I have a cute attractive face, so I am told frequently. Plus I'm a good student (yet I look more like a rugby player than a scholar). But I have never had a steady girlfriend, all I've had are girls that are only into me temporarily when I travel.

But I get the feeling that guys like us can really intimidate girls. I once managed to make a girl fall-over from looking at me while we were crossing the road, we smiled at each other and she fell over, I helped her up and we went for coffee while I bandaged her knee. Anyway, we didn't hit it off eventually, but the main point is some girls can get so intimidated they trip over and fall. I've seen it.

Girls also tell me they are very surprised I am single and they don't believe me, they never believe it.

I've also had girls literally tell me that they cannot compare to me in looks or background or education, hence why we won't be together.

Considering how easy it is to break a girls self esteem, I would agree with you, that I think you're right. It is possible that some men can be TOO good looking, not hideous.

saulito · Answer

let me add on some information about the making many girlfriends subject mentioned before. Before I begin, the point I want to cross is that you are the male and naturally you will guide the girl you want to be with. First, I would try to avoid girls that are too insecure in the first place, because they can make a living hell for you.  Insecure people can be the most jealous partners you can have and that is a big NO NO.  Try finding a girl in places that you would normally hang out e.g. the beach,the woods, bookstore, health food store, the arcade etc...girls that have a life other than just social are worth the time and effort.  Even if girls preach about being modern with equal rights, they still love the fact that you're a man and you're the guide. The girls probably already follow you around so all you have to do is set yourself on cruise control and let them do the stuff that you like. Variety is key. Example instead of asking a girl with a shaky voice, " Do you want to go to the movies?"  Tell the girl, "There's this bitchin movie I'm dying to go see, I'm lookin for someone to go with, um would be nice if you go with me." Then give her the killer 45 caliber smile from ear to ear...That's the kind of attitude you should be having with the ladies. Remember you are the Guide...you are Michael Jackson and the women are Tito as per se...lol

shadowcat517 · Answer

Yes, totally. Really hot guys with a great personality make me SO nervous. I'm not exactly a beauty, so if a cute guy talks to me, I get really shy, because I'm not really used to it. As attractive as confidence is, it's also a little harder to approach if you're not as confident. Guys like you seem pretty untouchable, because we can't believe that you actually exist. I have a guy friend just like that, who's really cute, smart, and funny, but he's never been asked out before because no one can get up the courage to ask him out, and when he talks to some girls, they just feel so awkward, like they'll say the wrong thing or something. I'm guessing that's what happens to girls around you. Guys that are really amazing just have something about them where tons of girls like them, but none can stand to do anything about it.

thumbelinasplace01 · Answer

I would not be afraid of you or not be afraid to approach you but I would feel like you would be out of my league. I would just feel like I would never have a shot with you. Even though I am attractive, It takes a lot and I mean a lot of confidence for a girl to feel comfortable with a really hot guy.  A guy at my work is really hot and I just am a basket case around him. I have a really hard time talking with him. I actually start shaking. So you can see why I would want to run the other way. But other guys that are just cute I have no problem around.

xxangel1990xx · Answer

Yep, if I saw a really good looking guy id be very intimidated and I would def never go out with someone that was that good looking just because guys like that come across as loving themselves. Or, I would be worried that you could get any girl you liked so wouldn't go out with me for long and then you'd be off trying to get someone else. I wouldn't be able to trust someone like that either because id imagine every girl would throw themselves at him + id be feeling really ugly all the time compared to him. It would just be a disastrous relationship for me lol but what you need is a woman that's really confident in herself and someone who is equally as stunning.

guitar081223 · Answer

i know this was a question for the ladies, but I know what's going on too. I've got a friend just like you, except he has no problem with girls. its guys like him that give guys like you a bad name. when a good looking girl sees you of course she thinks about getting with you, but then she thinks "man how many other girls have thought this and acted on it?" naturally, they think because you're good looking you're a whore. no offense. what you need to do is broaden your friendship horizons. make friends with plenty of girls and pick one to be with. make sure you've talked plenty before asking her out on a date. this lets her know that at least you're patient. then go on a date, find out some stuff about her, and most of all PAY ATTENTION. you need to remember things a girl tells you. once you're good friends, the jump to boyfriend is easy to make if you're confident. hope it works out for you.

993099142 · Answer

I met this really good looking guy at the airport, he had to be the best looking guy that I had seen in the last 2 years... and I felt like I wasn't good enough or smart enough or interesting enough for him because he was so attractive. He was hitting on me and I rejected him. Like you know, when your around someoen whose "better" than you, you have to work to impress them... but when your around someone who is "lower" than you (etc... they swear, the tell dirty jokes, they look at porn, they procrastinate, they don't respect people or things) you feel more comfortable and you can be yourself around them? Some people don't want to be around people that are "better" than them... If for superifical reasons, becuase they feel they have to work harder to put up a good image, if for moral reasons, because it requires humility and a lowly spirit. I know I'm that way.

kao721 · Answer

Well I'm trying to think about this the other way around. I'm not intimidated by a really hot girl, I dated a small time model who was absolutely gorgeous and one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. If you're 26, and no matter how good looking or bad looking you are and haven't had a girlfriend you're doing something wrong, straight up. Do you still live with your parents? Not have a car? no job? broke? what's the deal? If you are initiating everything and no good luck then no they aren't scared or intimidated lol.

The fact that you're typing all this about yourself might make you seem or come across as TOO confident for your own good, which would explain your results, or lack of. Its your job to make the initial move, if they turn you down go to the next. Maybe it's a personality issue.

Have one of your friends hook you up with one of her friends, and if it doesn't work out then she'll have an answer for what you're doing wrong, and you can go from there!

Marion · Answer

Hot guys do not intimidate me at all. As a matter of fact hot guys were the only guys I would hit on when I was single. Most women who are experienced at dating do not find hot guys intimidating, because they quickly find out ugly guys can be jerks just as easily as a hot guy.

It sounds to me like it is not your looks that are turning women off. Women as a rule do not get scared off quite so easily. You must not be presenting yourself well. Not knowing you, I cannot possibly know what that is, but I would say your intimidation is more related to your presentation rather than your looks.

music4life · Answer

I may have a different point of view from the other girls who replied you, though I understand perfectly well why they said that they feel intimidated :P

personally, probably I'll have the adrenaline rush seeing a hot guy, but I don't think I'll run away from a hot guy, or feel intimidated. I'm fine with befriending anyone as long as they are not stuck up, they are sincere and they have the right attitude, as simple as that :)

don't feel bad about this anyway...have you thought of being friendly and nice to others? maybe that will help (this is just a suggestion anyway) good luck and feel free to type more things ! :D

Anonymous · Answer

I think it all depends on how you approach girls. If you have 0 so called "game" and don't know how to talk to girls, your looks are not going to help you there. There is no such thing is too good looking, besides you sound really cocky, even though you said that you are not bragging, you still mentioned your looks at least 4 times. I think you need to stop worrying about how you look and stop thinking that your looks is only thing you got with you when you approach girls. Don't get me wrong I'm not jumping to conclusions here and I don't know how you talk to girls but from your question it seems that you don't.

shadowlegend · Answer

I hate to say it but a guy who values his physique the most gives off and arrogant image. It's not that you intimidating at all. That's the last thing most girls would have an issue with. Also...no offense but depending on the style you wear they may actually think you're gay. Just a hint..asking if you're too fit or too good looking isn't really a great way to attract a girl. Try saying you insecure about why you have problems attracting girls, is it you appearance? It just sounds a little more inviting instead of well...being a stuck-up prick. I'm just trying to help. Not judging you. :)

achick · Answer

OK? Well if o saw a pic I would tell you. Umm well you might be intimidating in the faced that the girls your attracted to may feel you out of there leg and not shore if you really like them or your gust looking to hook up with a random person I don't know what you look like but I bet your friends are right your probably hot and I know I would be very surprised if a guy like you asked me out and very nerves but I don’t think I would run away I would take the opportunity and make the best of it and the way you described yourself is sexy to me and you will find the right girl soon. GOOD LUCK!

Anonymous · Answer

hot guys are intimidating! I'm a hot girl and I get told this by guys all of the time that IM intimidating...usually I'm pretty confident in front of guys but when I see a guy whos really good looking I get so scared/intimidaded/self-concious...i start asking jeez am I hot enought for him!?..why would he want to be with me!?...hes gota be a player!...more likely then not they run because they figure your a player and want some action...i saw that you wait one to two months before asking a girl out..you should try changing that, if you see a girl you like, you should ask her out ASAP, and see if anything changes

ooo215 · Answer

i never feel intimidated by cute guys but it is a little harder to let them get closer to me... like ill have no trouble flirting but we won't become friends and its not always my fault cute guys usualy give the impression that they just want sex... so maybe they think you just wanna use them..

circachamptyler · Answer

Well now from this question I hope that girls will understand how it feels for a guy 2 be intimidated by a girl most of the girls just look at me but never get the nerve 2 speak with me and it hurts because I am actually a shy guy so I have 2 try harder than people would think so all girls that look at this question need 2 know just because we look attractive doesn't mean were not afraid of appraoching a girl or having the fear of getting rejected at least that's how I feel.

thesimplethings · Answer

Ha Ha Ha! Sorry that's funny, buy I understand exactly what you mean! My boyfriend is really good looking and fit, and I don't see what he is doing with me, When we first started talking I thought based on his looks he was a player, and I didn't want to get my heart broken. Try becoming friends with the girl first maybe. Really goodlooking guys scare girls lol sad but true. It seems the only girls that are willing to go after hot guys are slutty fake girls. So just try to be down to earth and try the friend approach first. It worked with my boyfriend, I was so scared to even talk to him, but it worked out for the best.

the-love-guru · Answer

I come from a completely different perspective. If I see a super hot guy, I immediately think "self absorbed" and cocky. That's a turn off. I like guys that are hot in a different way. A strong jawline, or a well put together outfit. Even a excellent cologne can make an average guy seem "hot" to me. But if I see a guy looking like he stepped right out of a Calvin Klein ad, I wouldn't go for him. Chances are he's too into himself to pay deep attention to anything I have to say...

haleypeters · Answer

it depends if the gal is secure or not when I see a hot guy I casually hint them or something. example- my friend and I were going to the lake and these two hot guys pulled up with  boat so we asked if they could take us fpr a ride and we ended up boating alll day long. it was suppperrrr fun and they WERE hot ha. to keep it short it really all depends on the girl

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

I am not intimidated lol because I'm not too bad looking myself and attractive and I have other qualities that back up my physical attributes as well. I don't think looks are everything, but I guess it's somewhat intimidating if he's good looking, smart and a pro sports player---some guys are like so perfect---that's intimidating

bebebunny143 · Answer

yes hot guys are intimidating...im scared to approach hot guys, I don't know how cute iam..ive been in a lot of bad relationships and I have like no confidence...so if you approached me I would be scared and probably back off because I wouldn't know how to act around you!

Shiner4 · Answer

Girls can definitely be intimidated around a hott guy.  I know how terribly nervous I get around a hott guy and any guy who trys to make a move or approaches me.  Try coming up with a joke and try another time to talk to her if she doesn't say anything.  That's a really hard question and honestly I don't completely understand either.

xxnodicexx · Answer

This is such a double standard. I get that I'm a player without ever talking to the girl. I'm a goddamn accountant and nerdy as sh*t but I don't look it. It's really sad that all we hear is the banter about how to not see women as just sex but it happens to men all the time.

Fact. Women run away.

Care to back me up on this, confident women?I've dated some of the biggest feminists, and literally girls who are bisexual, and they openly admit this. They run from other women too...

In all honesty. Can we just admit that men and women are more alike than they care to permit?

Once we admit that yes, women LOVE sex, guys CAN be sensitive and all this f***ery can go away once you stop believing what the national and marketing roles tell you to be. F*** THEM.

Think and love for yourself.

That and stop taking selfies. Men and women. Seriously.

browneyes9181 · Answer

I have to say that I would be intimidated by a hot guy. I don't consider myself hot but cute and I would not think that any type of hot guy would ever talk to me. I imagine a hot guy with a supermodel kind of girl. Maybe that's what some of the girls feel.

Also I have heard that hot guys are kind of stuck up and think they're hot S**t. But I don't know.

blufrenzy93 · Answer

yeah I kind of agree with that.

usually when there's a good looking guy

most girls have already noticed him and try to flirt with him

which then makes the guy seem like a big flirt or player.

even if he's by himself, I feel a bit intimidated

like maybe he's taken, or he's not interested, etc.

so mostly I ignore them.

DaisyA · Answer

Good looking guys can be intimidating, however, I guess it really depends on the maturity of the women you seem to like.

Sometimes guys that take care of themselves "too well", I would question if they're gay.

Stop thinking that you're good looking cause that vibe can come off in your behaviour without you realizing. Just behave like a normal guy.

If you're open and friendly, no matter how you look, most girls would be flattered to be asked out

4u2nv · Answer

it's intimidating, but hott! You should approach the girls in that case. I'd be too embarrassed to go up to a sexy man and he'd be like snobby or something. haha. Like it seems like a lot of hot guys are jerks, that's why they are intimidating. Maybe something of that we are afraid of what your "level" is. And afraid of being turned down by a really hot guy since it puts down someones self esteem.

sammyangel9991 · Answer

Yeah we look at guys that are that good looking and we think to ourselves wow he is so hot. There is no way he would ever talk to me. I have no chance with him. There is no such thing as being too good looking, but if you are, you generally have to be the one to do the approaching. You have to go after the girls because the girls are not going to think they have any chance with you. And even when you approach them they may be in shock that a hot guy is actually talking to them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah to be honest they're intimidating and this is coming from a pretty girl, I mean everyone stares when I walk by (males and females of all ages) .. I'm not trying to brag either but yeah I'm good looking but I am intimidated by good looking guys. They all just seem so cocky and weird. They have the attitude that girls would do all the chasing and they can just sit back, relax and play silly games with their heads. It's irritating.

Anonymous · Answer

Im super confident when I'm around guys but for some reason those extra hot guys are pretty intimidating lol. The way you sound girls might think your above them. Don't tone down the looks (theres no need for that lol), but maybe you should tone down the attitude. (im not saying your acting cocky or anything I don't know you so its completely not my place BUT when girls see hot guys they think cocky conceited etc. so maybe show her by your attitude that your not :)

butterflygrl2005 · Answer

if a guy like you asked me out, the only reason I would say no would be a personality issue. girls rarely say no to guys like that unless they have something against attractive guys.

December · Answer

hmm... interesting

well since being nice isn't working maybe you SHOULD be cocky it gives off more vibes of confidence which women feed off of

and/or

instead of waiting a month or 2 to ask them out try after a week or 2

beachbum · Answer

ur intimidating... at the pool I had a very hot lifeguard talk to me, he was obviously flirting and I was scared s*itless... lol   yea, you're intimidating

ILoveCefalu · Answer

Um, me, personally, I kind of ignore the hotties-but if what you want is a girlfriend, then try the casual friend approach with a girl that you like. That way they'll get to know you better first, and the two of you will be more comfortable.

CuddlyCarla · Answer

Let me put it to you this way, the RIGHT girl isn't going to be intimidated. She isn't going to be hung up on the superficial, she's going to see YOU and what you're all about. Wait for her, she's out there.

gabbsv586 · Answer

when I see a hot guy trying to approach me I think: he's maybe wanting to have sex with me... try to act a little more goofy, show them you're just not a pretty face..show them there's more of you...and leave them wanting more. it always works

anonymous25 · Answer

To answer your question about intimidating?  I say yes, it is intimidating because for me personally, I would automatically think, I'm not good enough for someone that hot so why waste my time when I'm going to get turned down anyway?  It's a safety mechanism a lot of girls use.  I'm 25 and will look at hot guys from a distance and admire them but never considering talking to them because I feel like I wouldn't be good enough for someone who works so hard to be that attractive.

sweet17 · Answer

Yeah, hot guys are really intimidating. I don't ever really feel inferior to the guy, but I'm just afraid that he won't like me. Being rejected by a really hot guy is bad.

emilyzenella · Answer

Yes it is pretty intimidating! Maybe you should go for hotter girls who are probably not as intimidated. Maybe if you try not to initiate so much, I mean with asking out, they will come to you

xx-lovesweet-xx · Answer

They might think:

Hot guy=already has a girlfriend.

or..

Hot guy=why is he talking to me? Must be looking for a hook-up..

It's true, guys can be intimidating! Especially if they're extraordinarily talented and/or gorgeous, and I know for a fact that us girls take extra special caution around these sorts. It's nothing personal, it's just us being wary. Don't give up. Find that girl who goes against what her instincts tell her and is intrigued by you; once you do, the rest is history!

KhloeMaddison · Answer

i have been hit on by very attractive guys but I do not follow through because immediately I believe they just want a one night stand and that they are all into themselves.

shadwspeeder · Answer

When I see a hot guy... sometimes I think he is way out of my league... but if the hot guy came after me... then I'd totally say yes! XD I'm just intimidated.

SashyMashy · Answer

Maybe it's your personality.. mean I'd be well in there bragging if I got a date with a hottie. maybe you're picking the wrong girls.. :) and you can never be too good looking, but that's just me :D

single_u_can_cange · Answer

dont ask to have coffe ask to go on a walk or movies or something...and when they look at you...thats just a way girls observe guys...we like to do that...! I'm confedent around guys but really hot guys its hard cause you always want to look perfect...its not your fault...!

iamranga · Answer

Maybe your intimidating in the 'Arnold Schwarzenegger' sense? Idk.

lolfreddy · Answer

Maybe you are TOO good looking where they think you are gay? You never know :o

Anonymous · Answer

Just don't show off the muscles so much in your clothing.  Don't wear muscle shirts and tight shirts, they may not think you are too good looking just too vain.  Let the beautiful body be a bit of a surprise and gift for the right girl.

GGfan · Answer

I'd definitely be intimidated.  All of the hot guys that I've gone to school with and come in contacts with are all jerks.  I haven't met one that's actually nice.  Hopefully that'll change soon!

hihellohola · Answer

yes hot guys are intimidating... but also you might be intimidating because you kind of come off as a bit conceited.  not that its a bad thing... maybe rty being more modest and approachable.

Anonymous · Answer

hot guy definitely equals intimidating! of course! I start to question whether or not I am good enough for the hot guy whether it be looks or otherwise. you will definitely have to make the first move in most cases.

randgirl · Answer

cuz most of the time they KNOW they are good looking..and get cocky...and being cocky is SUCH a turn off

Anonymous · Answer

its funny, the girls answers would be the same as guy if it were a hot girl.

obscene · Answer

You could be in this stupid "friend zone" they have

girlknowsbest65 · Answer

you're probally intimidating being that the average hot guy is a jerk, most girls probally automatically think that when they see you

sxchiqa · Answer

maybe it's something in your personalty or the way you ask a girl out, or too confident

Lexachip · Answer

Yes, I would feel intimidated.

Anonymous · Answer

pic! pics! or "it never happened"

Ghost285 · Answer

Girls avoid eye contact with me

love1210 · Answer

hmm..it can be

Anonymous · Answer

yes

Girls... do you agree? Hot guy = intimidating?

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