He was getting ready to leave but after my arrival decided to stay. He immediately asked if I wanted a drink and there was no hesitation on paying because he already had his card out for the waitress. We ended up talking for 30 min and he would touch me every so often.
I wasn't sure I was attracted physically but he is an Aussie and I liked the accent and wit.
During the conversation he made a remark as to where he lived (in our city) and then said I have a reason to come there now. I was a bit standoffish then because I barely knew him.
He kissed me on the cheek on the way out, but he didn't ask for my contact but said hopefully he would see me if I'm hanging out with a mutual friend.
Well, I realized that perhaps my behavior led him not to ask for my contact and I saw him on my friend's facebook page, so I sent him a quick question - saying is that you, I think I met you. He responded in a short while with a longer response and ended it with: "I really enjoyed meeting you and it was a shame that I had to rush off while we were still talking. I was chatting to [girl he works with who knows me] yesterday and told her that I'd met you - she was amazed, and said that you'd had a party last weekend. Anyhow, perhaps we can meet again.?"
He also then added me as a friend so he can see my profile and vice versa (takes a little mystery out of it in my opinion;).
I took a little over a day to respond to that msg - because I'm still not sure on my attraction but I do really like his personality. And I did say "sure let's meet. Sounds good. Don't know what your schedule is like?". I sent it Sunday. It doesn't appear he has been online recently, but he initially responded so quickly (a couple of hours).
The friend who had the party called me on Thursday and mentioned that she thinks her friend (this guy) really likes me!
It's been one week now! What do you think of this scenario? his interest? He answered the initial email within 2 hours! What do you think?
FYI - I'm 31 and he is 3 years older than me.
Update: Ok - He wrote back to me tonight, finally. He remarked on my new profile pic and asked about my memorial day weekend trip. He also asked about my schedule and said his is improving. Hmm. . . I will respond, but take my sweet time too;) Sounds interested?
7 months ago
If he hasn't been on Facebook, then he hasn't been able to respond to your message, if he has been on Facebook and he hasn't responded, that is strange. He seems extremely interested. I would wait a bit more and if you aren't contacted, talk to your friend, ask her what happened and why he hasn't responded. Your friend works with him, right?
Wait at most another week, then ask your friend for some advice. If he's not even going on Facebook, then sending another message would probably be pointless. So try to find out through your friends what's going on.
It looks like he only logged back in (added a few new friends) yesterday because that is the newest activity since he added me as a friend last weekend. Yeah it is strange because he did seem very interested and my friend confirmed it, but . . . - 7 months ago
Question Asker
I have to say that it would have seemed to be an obvious situation till this point. Just to clear up some confusion though, my friend doesn't work with him. She went to grad school with him. The person he mentioned me to is not really my friend actually but she does know me and he works with her. Anyway - I don't think it is wise to talk to my friend as it might get back to him and he might think I'm too interested - and I don't think that generally helps. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Well then you might just have to wait, or try and "accidentally run into him", that is, If you can't use friends to spy on him. :P
On saturday or sunday you might want to send another message, and if there's still no response he may have just ran for the hills. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Oh there is no way I'm sending another message. I mean if a guy is interested, he will follow-up without any help. I mean, if I have to follow-up after HE asked if we could meet again - there is no point, right? I didn't ask to meet in the first place. This way if I were to run into him again, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. But he was very outgoing when I met him, so if he wants me I believe "he would come and get me". I've given him enough signs already? - 7 months ago
Answerer
You're probably right. If he doesn't contact you, well, his loss. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
You can see my update above - he finally wrote to me today. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Wait maybe a day and a half, but don't wait a week or two. Don't put him through what he put you through just because you want payback or something like that, that's what destroys relationships. Give it a day and a half, then respond graciously. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
That sounds right - yeah I sent a response not too long ago. I don't have access to the site at work so I only can login to facebook from home. And you're right, playing tit-for-tat wouldn't help accomplish my goals. . .as each one of us would keep taking a long time to respond and what good is that! BTW he mentioned that he ran into someone else who knows me and mentioned me to them (that's the 2nd person at this company). Cool that he mentions meeting me I guess. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Well that sounds good then. Just progress with talking and something might develop out of it :) - 7 months ago
Question Asker
He asked about my schedule and I said mine was calm when I responded. Now he has to respond again. . .hmm I think it is dragging a bit if he is interested? - 7 months ago
Well, like I said, if you continue talking you might set up a date to hang out or something, you just have to give this time, like any other relationship. - 7 months ago
I think so. Just ask him out for coffee...see what he says. - 7 months ago
By
Question Asker
Interesting Sheepingly - it has generally not been my style to ask someone out. I do also think it is dumb to be emailing back and forth when we randomly met through a friend and have no other reason for communication. I think I may invite him to a friends bday party next week as that is lower risk and perhaps we could meet before it for a drink perhaps? - 7 months ago
By
Answerer
I think getting to know him better in person is the first step, inviting him to a stranger's birthday is a bit much for a get together with someone you barely know. - 7 months ago
By
Question Asker
Yeah I agree with you Hercules - good point. Well I may just get to the point and ask, "so when are we going to meet?" . . .I hope that makes the point. . .if not, then not meant to be - lol. - 7 months ago
By
Answerer
That comes off a bit strong. Just casually invite him somewhere. Whatever you think the both of you will like. - 7 months ago
Yes sounds right. Since he added me on facebook, I can see some other pics of him. I have to say that he is probably less attractive than guys I have dated before (and the pics didn't improve it). But I'm still curious but of course I have no expectations (I'm not sure I am even physically attracted). . .but I'm open-minded. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Then that's a good way to go. Also, don't put your eggs all in one basket if you know what I mean. Just keep an eye out for other guys as well that you would like to date. I made the mistake of being really into 1 guy and I think there's mutual interest but if it doesn't work out and we don't end up dating I'll be crushed. I don't wish that on you or anyone. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks for your thoughts. Well of course, lack of options is never good. I know I am at my best when I have more than one option to consider. I definitely have been going out a lot of course and have a busy social life, so hopefully I find more options of course;) ha.
I think given how quickly he initially responded and added me to facebook and his overall behavior, I would say if I don't hear from him within next week then he is a no-go. I'm at least a realist;) - 7 months ago
Question Asker
What's happening in your situation (the one you described)? - 7 months ago
Answerer
My situation? Sweet guy. He teaches/owns at the martial arts dojo I train at. Long story short we became friends through weeks and months of him initiating conversations and we started socializing and more we talked the more he started flirting and hinting. YOu know how men are...the teasing, the playful jokes, doing stupid thing for attention, asking me personal questions. some time in February he started fishing about my dating life. He asked me if I had any dates that week, if I had a bf - 7 months ago
Answerer
He also asked if I was interested in anyone I worked with or any of my clients...he asked if I liked anyone at the dojo and what kind of men I liked. I ended up trying to tease him but what I said came out wrong and he dropped the subject immediately. He volunteered me up for this kick boxing bout (when we normally have to request to be in it) and wanted to be the one to train me. So after the february incident, he started being mean during his training sessions, started getting bossy, ... - 7 months ago
Answerer
Pushing advice in regards to my personal life. We argued a lot...had many make up "talks" about the arguments...he's backed off a lot..doesn't try and get my attention anymore though every once in a while he'll say something flirty and innuendo ish, or watch me from afar, ask me about something personal or do something stupid to get my attention...but it hasn't been as much as it used to be. HE also used to ask me for a ride home (even tho he has a car) now he doesn't ask me anymore either... - 7 months ago
Answerer
And he used to be available for me whenever I needed to and now he's not willing to be flexible anymore. He isn't necessarily mean to me now but he just isn't trying anymore...and this has been for the past 3 1/2 months since the february incident...and so I've been sad ever since...so now I'm left wondering...and I gotta talk to him at some point about this and that's why I said don't put ur eggs in one basket...like I did. :( - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Ok I get it and sorry about your situation. I wish you well for your conversation. Otherwise, find someone else and you won't even bother;) In my situation, I just thought he was so obvious in his initial interest that in such scenarios things proceed in a normal way. I won't see him again unless it is planned, as there is no regular place we would both be so that should make it easy. He knows where to find me (via facebook lol), so if he is interested - he will contact me. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Yeah I agree with your situation.. fairly new guy so what he doesn't do won't affect you all that much, if he's interested enough he'll put in effort at least that's what I always believed.
As far as my situation...I've tried meeting other guys but I'm at the point where I already grew close with this guy over the past year and I'm at the point of no return now LOL...I already am emotionally attached more than I ever thought I would be...and more than I thought I would be to an instructor... - 7 months ago
So I got a response after my initial posting and he asked questions about how my mem day weekend was and how my schedule was looking. etc. He also mentioned that he had now mentioned to two different people at his company that he had met me. I took a couple days and responded (over all pleasant and said my scehdule was calm). Now he has to respond again. . .hmm I think it is dragging a bit if he is interested? - 7 months ago
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 7 months ago
asked 5 days ago
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