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  Anonymous User

Mean but TRUE horoscope for each sign. What is yours? (hilarious but somewhat offensive)

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Anonymous User (Age:Under 18)     When: 4 months ago
Views: 227     Category: Other
Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.



Pieces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.



Aries (Mar 23 - Apr 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.



Taurus (Apr 23 - May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.



Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.



Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a crap. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.



Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and annot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards.



Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your ****-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while doing it. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.



Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.



Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-*****. Most Scorpios are murdered.



Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap.



Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Update: What do you think of your horoscope?    4 months ago

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Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo

Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
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3
From Girls  
7
 

What Guys Said

SexGod1
2942  
SexGod1 (Age:30 to 35)      When: 2 months ago
That was too funny! lol :)
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derekf714
189  
derekf714 (Age:18 to 24)      When: 3 months ago
I've seen this one before, this version has been censored, the original is more dirty!
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dohcrwd
2673  
dohcrwd (Age:25 to 29)      When: 4 months ago
I am the mr april fool. DOB 1 april
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What Girls Said

 
Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:Under 18)      When: 26 days ago
I am cancer.
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kazine
1221  
kazine (Age:Under 18)      When: A month ago
That wasn't really funny, more pathetic.
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MaceyRyan
431  
MaceyRyan (Age:Under 18)      When: 2 months ago
Most Scorpios are murdered?
Haha!
:D
Funny shizz right there.
:]
*Scorpio powerrr*
:p

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sassysteph
285  
sassysteph (Age:18 to 24)      When: 3 months ago
Mine is way off base
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Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)      When: 3 months ago
Well, that's interesting. I'm a cancer and I must say that sounds like me sadly. *sighs* that's really horrible, huh? I'll be worth a crap one day hopefully. What can I say, I'm a lazy sucker. Lol
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Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)      When: 4 months ago
What? That's the complete opposite of me
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Selected as Best Answer
 
Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)      When: 4 months ago
Lol I agree with some of my horoscope I'm a gemini because I can be a cheap bastard at times but my friend is a sagittarius and I have to say they could not of got it more perfect lol
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wonderingwhy I think mine is so true. I'm a Leo, and most can be motnerlovers, but I'm not. I'm the exception

*Born July 28** - 2 months ago
 
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