Soap in pee hole (urethra): What is the QUICKEST way to stop the pain?

Question

Has anyone ever gotten soap up INTO their urethra (pee hole) while they were showering? It is the most painful experience ever, especially if you use a body wash-gel or some other fluidy soap. I like to keep my equipment refreshingly fragrant and spiffy clean for my girlfriend(s) by showering as often and as thoroughly as possible, and by using a delightfully fragrant, albeit somewhat harsh but rejuvenating blend of "Axe" body wash gels. Unfortunately and inevitably, I will accidentally and momentarily point my giggle-stick the wrong way (upwards) as I'm lathering up. This allows the soap the brief opportunity it needs to seep down into my third-eye so to speak -- and then KA-BLAM-O! -- it feels like someone is shoving a lit and jagged matchstick up into my baby-maker! The only thing I can do at that point is wince in pain as I kneel in front of the water spigot, carefully poising my general and two colonels directly under a jet-ski-like stream of gushing water -- for at least 19 minutes. This never seems to stop the pain, so much as it seems to just kill time and give me something to do as I count the stars in my head. I've heard that dipping your dipstick into a cup of cold milk as soon as the soap-intrusion occurs, will help sooth the pain. But I can never muster up enough resolve and strength to waltz into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of cold milk, much less plunge my jumblies into it. And keeping a bottle of cold milk by the shower would just be impractical as I would have to jerry-rig some sort of refrigeration device to keep the milk palatable. Does anyone have any advice on how to sooth the pain in the QUICKEST way possible (other than peeing out the soap residue -- which actually initiates another type of pain beyond words)? Do carbonated beverages have more potent soothing properties? How about a saline-type beverage like Gatorade or perhaps an anti-oxidant enriched green tea? Would a warm solution be better at rinsing, or would a cold one be more soothing? I'm guessing girls don't have this problem that often (since they're always pointing down-ish), but I can't help but think that occasionally it must happen to some girls too? Any tips or advice from anyone would be MUCH appreciated!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yep, it hurts. I tried peeing it out the first time, and that hurt like hell. Honestly, the best thing to do is just to be very careful. Prevention is better than cure. Old statement, but very true.

The fastest way that I know of to deal with that pain is rather simple. Just turn the water off, place both palms against the shower wall to brace yourself, lean backwards, then slam your head as hard as possible against the wall. By the time you wake up, the pain in your 'general and two colonels' will be the last pain on your mind. One pain can detract from the other, and perhaps be easier to deal with.

Another way, yet not as effective, is to squeeze it tightly. For some reason, that seems to dull the pain until you can wash it out without screaming like a girl.

austin · Accepted Answer

I've never had to have that painful experience but from what I heard besides the pain it's not dangerous or can make you sick (Don't count on me on this though). The best way to get rid of it is drinking as much as you can and urinate as many times as you can. I'm guessing urinating will be even more painful but that's how you can get out the chemical in the soap that's supposedly the reason for the pain.

On the other hand it would be pretty wise to see a urologist. After all you don't wanna take chances with your urethra :)

jam4185 · Accepted Answer

As a girl... It can and does happen sometimes while washing and any girl who tells you other wise isn't someone I would be willing to jump in the sac with... I can't offer any advice as it hurts like hell to us too. And it is very uncomfortable, drink lots of water and clean it out you can try cranberry juice also it may help sorry dude

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We don't feel that kind of stinging, well at least not the type of pain you described! I didn't know that soap could get up there! What if you just point your "baby-maker" downwards when washing? I think milk would make your penis smelly, I don't think you should do that.

chanceDeVoe · Answer

I've had this problem before. It's something you just can't prevent from happening every now and then, especially if you like to keep your stuff super squeaky clean. (Although it hasn't happened to me in a while since I've switched to an aloe-based soap! )

But when it has happened, there's not much you can do really. You just have to grin and bear it. I've found that if you place your general under running water, but have him pointing downward as opposed to saluting upwards, it helps draw out the soap much better. You may think that pointing him towards the water flow will help get water IN, to rinse inside, but this is a painful proposition because it probably forces the soap down even further. Having him point downward, in the same direction as the water flow will allow the water to create a sort of vacuum or suction-type effect, which will help draw out the soap (I think it's called the Bernoulli Principle). Other than that there's not much else you can do. Although I've always wondered if getting a blow job might actually be the quickest way to draw out the soap.?

soLeYopticAls · Answer

It's like getting soap in your OTHER eyes. You just have to rinse it out as much as possible. You may get all the soap out, but it's still going to sting for a while, you just have to let time work it's magic. The Gatorade idea is interesting though, since it is a mild saline solution. I know saline is used a lot in surgery for rinsing (because it's very similar to the fluid that's in your body), so it may actually really help. But I would probably try an actual saline solution first, like for contact lenses.

MattewCanHelp · Answer

To anyone that needs help with this kind of situation just dont panic.
I know it will hurt and i already experienced it myself but you just have to pee it out as soon as possible
when you dont pee it out it might cause even bigger pain.
The other thing that you can do is to go to shower and put cold water in your pee hole. It won't hurt and it will not get stuck in it it will just kinda rinse the soap from your penis.
To avoid these types of problems and painful things just be careful.

leastman · Answer

LOL ". Equipment. Giggle-stick. Third-eye. Baby-maker. General and two colonels. Dipstick. Jumblies" -- What exactly are we talking about here and how many euphemisms can you cram into one question?

Maybe you should try washing WITH milk instead of Axe, you may not smell as good, but at least you'll do less "wincing" :)

jaycexDA · Answer

ChanceDeVoe's suggestion about the blow job might work, but I don't know many girls that would be too willing to get a mouthful of soap. I've accidentally gotten soap a little too far up there once when I was really young, like maybe 12, hurt like the dickens, but it hasn't happened again since.

lovebird01 · Answer

Maybe if you are a little less aggressive with getting everything "squeaky clean", this wouldn't happen. I've used those liquid soaps, and I've never had this happen to me. If its as painful as you say, I hope it never does!

straightman · Answer

Maybe you could think of a few more euphemisms to solve the problem.

blaze · Answer

It has happened to at least twice and it hurts like all hell.

Anonymous · Answer

Agony. The fact you piss little bubbles trying to flush it out doesn't make it any better

Anywho90 · Answer

😯🤕 it's never happened to me, but sounds horrible

DavidCurrency9 · Answer

JUST had this happen now and oh man does it burn

quadospharmacy · Answer

Cure pain with me

Soap in pee hole (urethra): What is the QUICKEST way to stop the pain?

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