recently I met an amazing guy who's 32, divorce just come through after 18 months ish, relationship dead 2 years before... she went cold on him. she ran him through the mill money wise and he agreed to everything for an easy life, but considered her a friend. last week, just after we got together, she turns round saying could they try again and that she made a massive mistake. he says nothing has happened, he doesn't still love her, but they were married 5 years and have a lot of shared experiences... so he says he is very confused and it's getting him down, also cos he's started to develop feelings for me. which he assures me is the case, and I guess his honesty speaks for that. he tells me not to doubt that he really likes me... I said I'm gonna give him some space, but wish things could get back to the laughing joking stage some day. :( he's a faithful sort of person with a history of long relationships, but isn't "letting me go", as he says he's sure he really likes me but the history with his ex is big and he's too confused to think. and he's been the loveliest guy I have met in years, a gentleman, planning things, giving up meat for me. its recent, but intense, hitting it off without expecting to. v similar sense of humor and personality, honestly, he's the nicest guy in years.
he always gets back in touch, and when I didn't respond to his email telling me what had happened for a day he texted me a hello text to get a response. like I say, its difficult, but I don't doubt his feelings for me. but this isn't something I have been through.
Sounds like he has some major baggage, which equals major drama.
Geting our of an intense relationship is a little confusing and his emotions can be deceiving.
I'm sure he likes you, but it's most likely he likes you for what was missing in his previous relationship and not truly bonding with you if he is still confused about his ex.
I'm not necessarily saying this is a bad relationship to be in, however, if your expectations are to have a long term thing with this dude, then I would definitely take a step back and ask yourself if you are ready for some really bumpy roads with this guy.
Hm, likesay we do bond humor wise - he says that's the top thing he looks for. also said I'm beautiful inside and out and have a perfect physique etc. he wasn't confused about the ex, but now he is. said before he hadnt told mates about it cos they wouldn't understand his confusion. i do think there's something special there... before this came up it seemed so perfect. what do I do? how long do I wait? what should I say? - 27 days ago
Do not go anywhere near this guy! He sounds like a complete carbon copy of mine! He doesn't have his ex wife's name written up his arm by any chance?
Without being harsh, this guy will be all sweetness and light to you for a few months and you'll think he's the best thing since sliced bread and things will start to get serious. Just as they do he'll drop you like a sack of spuds because he'll got cold feet and got paranoid you'll run off with someone else so he'll do the dirty on you.
Don't trust him, he's got far too much baggage. He needs to properly get over his divorce and his ex.
Yep he's got too much baggage. He can't commit to you even if he does like you because he's not over his ex. Even if he wants to commit to you I just don't think he's actually capable. Its sad because he sounds like a nice guy but its really bad timing. You're only 23-why not find a single guy without all that hassle? I'm not trying to insult you, I know how awful it is but there isn't anything you can do about it apart from ending it now before you get too into him because trust me, you will feel more heartbroken however long down the line and it didn't work out. Just cut your ties now before you fall for him completely
Hey, you are dating someone with a lot going on right now. It doesn't matter the details of his marriage or divorce, not many divorces are great, it just matters that he is going through a tough time right now and could be for a while, especially if his ex is now saying she isn't sure herself how she feels.
Just keep in touch with him and see how it goes. Hopefully his ex will lose interest soon and he can move on.
it sounds like she had all the control and didn't like seeing him find someone else. she's just trying to keep him under her control and he's been there so long he doesn't know how to quit giving into her manipulation. I hope he does or you're going to be dating him+her if you stay together.
Interesting perspective. Yeah, I think a lot of it does have to do with the whole fact that she rejected him for so long. I'm trying to be fair and neutral and not say anything against her. Ironic, because I'd be saying a lot more to a platonic friend! I guess I have to think, if he is too weak to realise what she is like, he is a fool. if he chooses her over me, again, he is a fool. the longer it goes on like this, the more I am leaning towards thinking me and him will never really happen... :( - 26 days ago
I think exes alwasy bring out feelings and confusion...doesn't matter if it was like 10 yars ago and he just ran into her now...memories are always still there.
I think giving him space was a good thing...giving him time to deal with it.
You just gotta accept if he does go back to her...
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