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Girls beware... Why guys keep exes as friends.

Ever wonder why your ex takes the time to keep in touch with you, and sometimes seems more determined to keep connected than rather working on getting back together with you?

It's simple, because he wants easier access to sex.

Think about it, for the majority of girls, sex isn't something that a guy can achieve in under an hour. Unless your both drunk and at a party. But for the most part, sex involves a lot of work. This mostly involves dinner, casual "get to know" conversations, and other activities.
"Remember how nice he used to be? He'll play that card again."

So yep, it's quite a bit of work, and it's not really easy on the wallet either. So this brought out a nice little idea in the ever-growing cleverness of the male brain, "Why not try to get in touch with the ex".

Chances are, and most likely, girls take much longer to get over their ex. This is the part where the ex can take advantage. Remember how nice he used to be? Well he'll play that card again. The "how you been" and "you look great" bit. While this still involves a little work, it certainly isn't as demanding as meeting someone new. With a few "hopeful" lines such as, "I still love you" or "I still care about you", he's hoping this will reinvigorate your feelings for him.

The next step is sex. And the basic "score" for the guys. Most likely an ex girlfriend will feel that having sex with her old boyfriend will drive him back to her. Wrong. The obvious reason is this. Men will seek out the easiest and most practical way to have sex.
"If you ever truly want to get over an ex, lose all contact with him."
So remember this ladies, if you ever truly want to get over an ex, lose all contact with him in order to get over him. Otherwise he'll play the "easier relation" card.

"It's far easier and cheaper to go back to familiarity than it is to start anew".

What Girls Said 14

  • 31d

    My ex his married but now he want us to have an affair

  • I actually know some girls that keep exs around for back up plans. I mean of course any girls can have sex with any guy they wanted to and it would be easy, but some girls tell me that they keep the exs around because its familiar.

  • Thanks for your honesty. very much appreciated.

  • I totally agree with you. When girls ask questions because they want to know what's going on with the ex and why he's trying to keep in touch. They think that the ex still has feelings for them.

    Pay close attention lady's. He doesn't have feelings for you if he did you guys would still be together. What he is doing is keeping you close for easy access. It has nothing to do with love.

  • what makes you think woman don't do the same? trust me, when we are over a man,we won't keep in contact.Very good article tho, nice to hear a mans perspective,especially seeings as how most men don't communicate with woman very well.

    Woman do it to spare the emotional expense.

  • Sad, but true. Very well put. Thank you for taking the time to enlighten us with your words of wisdom. :) And I concur with your last sentence- it's so accurate.

    BUT, what if they guy keeps you around because he wants to date you still, but knows that sex is the closest he'll get to having you back? Are you familiar to Lily Allen's songs? Perfect example of a woman calling the shots in a breakup.

  • For immature guys, its always based on sex.

  • Why do women stay in contact with their exs. Are all the guys just looking for sex. What are the women looking for when she does the exact same thing. Hmmm

  • Sad but true! And I have someone doing this to me now, but I know better. And this made me completely sure of that, because it's validation on what I've been assuming his intentions were the whole time. Makes me glad I'm so cautious! lol

    thank you for explaining it like this, it makes perfect sense

  • This is true for guys who only date girls for sex/looks in the first place. If a guy was ever truly in love with a girl he wouldn't do that to her. Unless he's immature and/or a total douche bag. In that case the girl would probably have broken up with him because of that realization. So unless she wants easy relations too, she wouldn't accept. Unless of course she is immature and/or a bitch too. You're article only applies to boys that no self-respecting woman would want to date anyway.

  • you just explained one of my biggest concerns.. And now it makes a lot more sense..

  • "Chances are, and most likely, girls take much longer to get over their ex."

    Maybe it's where I'm from, but this is so not true.

  • Thanks for letting us know :) Though I don't think I've ever been out with anyone quite of that level of douchebaggery.

  • Great article. Although I'm a bit repulsed ... but thanks for letting us girls know. Keep spreading the word!

    I just despise this kind of guys because girls usually don't know any better, they believe them, then they're left again ... and they can never move on because they don't let themselves, especially after something so intimate happened. It's rotten of the guy. :/

What Guys Said 9

  • Wow man nice article/story

    the last line is so true

  • You're 16, or perhaps older. My perspective is on guys who keep their ex's as friends, only for easier relations later. You'll notice I immediately square out a guy who seems to be keen on connecting in physical relations, rather than actually working to get back together in a real relationship. Therefore I'm not labeling ALL men to be pigs. Read up first, before making accusations.

  • Gone by and I wanna ask her out but I'm afraid to because I don't want to ruin our friendship and if I did screw up I'd hate to have her not give me a second chance just because she assumes the worst like the author of this article. But I am in now way trying to flame the author I am just putting out a different perspective on the topic. He may be right about guys and I'm a member of a minority of nice people but I'd like to believe a lot of other guys are like me.

  • I think this article is very unfair. People just love to lump people in a group because it's easier and appears to be profound. Well it's not it's just lazy. Please don't listen to this person and just put a generalization on us guys. Some really do care and feel terrible if they mess things up. Take me for example I have never dated before but this girl I like is my friend, I told her how I felt and she said she wasn't ready to date, I respected this and we remained friends, however a year has

  • Absolutely true and couldn't agree more and this time I decided to end the friendship because I realized thta I was not moving ahead while he is having fun dating around.

  • .. Traitor.

  • Guess this can be true in some cases. I know I'm best friends with my ex though, and not for the above reasons. Sure, still in love with her, but wouldn't want her to come back to me simply because I'm something familiar.

  • dude.. stop giving our secrets away!

  • Ok, not completely true, the guys that do that are jerks. In my opinion, I simply wouldn't want to lose a friend, I've got too few as is.

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