You Are The Reason Your Relationship Ended

How many of us have a difficult time reflecting on our actions; knowing that we could have done so much better in our past relationship? Perhaps, if we looked at ourselves sooner the outcome would have been different; maybe you would still be with your significant other.

Below are two polar opposite personality traits possessive and neglectful that can cause a potentially great relationship to come to an end.

Below are very detailed descriptions of how these types of people may operate:

1. You Are Possessive

Controlling in many different ways

A. You call or text non-stop throughout the day.

Sure, it's sweet to touch bases with your loved one; to let them know that you miss them. However, you find yourself racking up a numerous amount of outgoing phone calls and texts to your love; without yet having received a response.

This type of behavior is smothering.

Sure, your love could be doing a lot of things and didn't get an opportunity to look at their phone. But how would you know the truth of the matter? Your constant text messages and phone calls were enough to scare this person away

B. You tell your significant other what they can or cannot wear.

I understand that you don't like the person you care about to receive certain types of attention. But, one important thing that you must remember is that they are their own person. They will wear what they want to wear.

Your significant other receiving attention from the opposite sex should be the least of your concerns. You might not like the reaction they get from people of your gender but you must trust them enough to go in public settings and turn down advances.

Your trust factor shouldn't lie in the fact of whether they choose to wear some thing revealing or not that day. Where is your self esteem?

C. You get highly upset when your significant other is in the company of others.

Your significant other deserves a life outside of you. If you truly care for them, you will encourage their development and growth. How can they have that, if they are always under your shadow?

Don't guilt trip your significant other because they chose to be with their friends .

If your concern is controlling them so they don't cheat on you, then you have to ask yourself "Can I really stop them from cheating?" If a person wants to cheat they will find a way to do so , no matter what you do!

Trying to control them in this aspect will only waste your time and energy.

D. You will not feel contented until you know where your significant other is at all times.

This goes right along with (C). You are once again trying to have the power to dictate how your significant other lives their life. You won't feel okay until you feel in total control. You demand your significant other to constantly text or call you when they get from point (A) to (B). They have to send texts of their movements through out the day. If they miss one of their routine texts, you will grow livid! In your mind something so small is very huge. How could they have forgotten to text you? Perhaps, it is because they were too busy cheating!

Eventually your own insecurities grow louder than any voice, and causes an end to your relationship.

E. You have stalked your significant other.

Something seems funny about the last message they sent you. Matter of fact, you haven't really heard from them today. Something must be going on...and whatever it is you're going to find out!

Lets just hope they don't see you....

F. You have immediate access to their phone/ social media.

If they refuse to give you access to their social media or phone then it is clear that they have something to hide. If someone is loyal then they would allow you to see all of their text messages, phone calls, and activities on social media (these are the unreasonable thoughts that flow inside of your mind). You pick a fight with your significant other about this. They stand their ground, and still refuse to let you see their phone and social media. When the opportunity presents itself, you snoop through their phones and messages.

G. You are upset because your significant other has friends of the opposite gender

Your significant other has friends of the opposite gender, this makes you unhappy. You find yourself growing even more jealous, the more attractive their friends are. You tell your significant other that they should drop all of their opposite sex friends to be with you. If they refuse, you grow angry and disappointed.

So, I've spent a significant amount of time speaking about the type of person that is possessive. Of course someone that is, doesn't have to do all of the things on the list. If someone's actions scream insecurity even if they are only doing just one of the above mentioned actions, it's enough to scare any one away. My advice is, work on yourself before you enter into a relationship. If you enter into a relationship wounded from a previous one, then you will only create conflict.

You can never give someone a whole of yourself, if you are entering into a relationship incomplete.

I will now speak about a different type of person that has the ability to end a relationship. This type of person is completely opposite from the possessive type. Perhaps, they care too little and only about themselves.

2. You Are Neglectful

You operate as if you do not care.

A. You barely ever call or text your significant other.

You usually have your significant other take the initiative when it comes to contact. If they spend days not texting you first, you'll let it continue until they message or call you. Your significant other feels as if you have no interest in them because contact always has to come from them.

Sometimes, you'll take many hours or days to get back to them.

They feel as if they are on the back burner.

B. You make no time to be with your significant other.

You're always "too busy" to ever have time for them. Your significant other is beginning to feel as if every one/ every thing comes before them. This leads them to feeling isolated in their own relationship.

C. Your sex life is failing due to lack of effort.

You make no effort in the bedroom. Every thing is predictable. In fact, most of the time you tend to turn your significant other down because you're not in the mood. Just how long do you think your significant other will cling on before they call it quits?

D. You no longer compliment them.

As small as this seems, to your significant other this is huge. They change their hair/clothes and you never seem to notice. This makes them feel undesired. They get immediately happy when they notice those from the opposite gender taking notice in their appearance. This is the attention they want from you. This leads them to realizing that they deserve better.

E. You have cheated on them.

Whether you did so emotionally or physically, the impact was the same. You gave all of this attention to someone other than the one you said you'd "commit" yourself to.

You came up with one hundred reasons to validate your cheating but wrong is wrong. You destroyed the trust aspect of your relationship. Even if your significant other doesn't walk away immediately, the fact that they can never trust you again is enough to make your relationship crumble or never be the same.

F. You grew a part

Unlike the other reasons this isn't anyone's fault. This is a relationship just taking its natural course. You both have been together for some time but seemed to become very different people over the past few years. You know longer have much in common anymore. If you were to stay with your significant other you'd be "settling" and this is not what you want.

The key to any successful relationship is a healthy balance. Show that you care but at the same time give room to the person you love to let them grow. Acknowledge your significant other's wants and needs, they should do the same in return. Listen to each other, and communicate well. If they give you no reason to distrust them, then your insecurities are speaking. Enter into a relationship with trust, and the desire to work towards happiness and success towards a happy future together.


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Stacyzee is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • If people would simply treat their partner as they would like to be treated a ton of these relationship problems would never crop up.

    So many people think they own their partner. A partner is not a thing or possession, they are just as human as you.

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    • A better rule is don't treat others as your would like not to be treated !!

      Why do women treat men so badly with gay abandon, when the slightest bit of negative criticism back is a crime against humanity, apparently?

      And giving them a taste of their own medicine, even toned down a bit) is seen as proof of their eternal righteousness?

      Perhaps we shouldn't tone it down -- what they dish out to us is what they actually want or need? -- when they hurt us physically then beat the shit out of them?

      Trouble is that gynocentric governments forgive bitches (who 'can't help themselves', apparently) and throw the book at men (such terrible psychopathic robots who 'can help themselves', but typically can't be bothered to do so) !!

      IF THEY 'CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES,' AND 'WE CAN,' WHY DO THEY WANT EQUALITY?

Most Helpful Girl

  • My relationship failed simply because he didn't treat me right. No dates, no compliments, no support, completely emotionless to the point where I was no longer in the mood to have sex. I didn't even get an orgasm from when we did because he wasn't good at it. But he said if we don't have sex 5-6 times a week, then he wasn't going to be with me. So, I didn't have sex with him and guess what? We aren't together. And I was very vocal about everything I stated and he just didn't care.

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    • Wow what a fucking dick. Glad your done with him!

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    • @optimaxim I fucking hope to God your joking. He was not nice at all. The fucker never tool her out on a date or gave her a compliment. Then he cheated on her when he said he never would. Fucking asshole spelt right there in the sand

    • @akadatank44 He's just an old troll looking for attention

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What Guys Said 24

  • Very good take especially on point of balance - All salient points - Just aside I will never tire of this meme it is so true and funny, I always smile and I have seen it loads of times
    s2.quickmeme.com/.../...5bf5c699b683db1e318942.jpg

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  • I'll reply as per your points in the take

    1. You Are Possessive

    Point A:

    You said that texting and calling a guy non-stop can lead to a relationship break up, well I doubt that really happen, I am not completely denying that and yes texting and calling the other non-stop can indeed come off as very annoying and irritating but then it's not a major problem that cannot be solved at all. I mean a solution can be worked out together if the partners are willing to take the effort. Break up is not a solution to this problem at least.

    I mean it's not a hardcore solution to this problem

    Point B:

    Yes, that can be annoying as well, but not a problem that cannot be solved and break up is the only solution to this. However your point is not completely ruled out.

    Point C:

    Agreed. Fair enough

    Point D:

    Agreed. Fair enough

    Point E:

    Agreed. Fair enough

    Point F:

    I'll address this in a separate comment.

    Point G:

    Agreed. Fair enough.

    2. You are neglectful

    Point A: Agreed.

    Point B: Agreed.

    Point C: You said " Sex life failing due to lack of effort"

    Ok, you have a point, but then what if they two partners are " Asexual"? just a thought.

    Point D: No longer complimenting one another. Yes, that's not really good but I still doubt this can be a hardcore reason that leads to break ups in relationships.

    Point E: Cheating!. Of course that will lead to break up. Agreed.

    Point F: Well that can happen, yes. Agreed.

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  • Hmmm did you talk to my ex-fiancee to get these points on this list? She was every one of those and acted in that manner it was maddening. Mind you was female, bi-polar & borderline. Hot crazy sex but she was that crazy.

    I avoid crazy b (tches now, don't stick your d (ick in crazy, every.

    Cheers!

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  • I would say I am partly to blame. I did ask several times whether my ex-wife was happy and whether there was anything I could do. I always got the "I'm fine" . She left the relationship about 6 years before me and I was not into it for the last 2 years of it... simply because she just didn't make any effort, so why should I?

    She made a last ditch effort which was nice, about 3 months before I caught her cheating. I quickly summed that up to her feeling guilty for seeing someone else behind my back. So I guess it was a little of D and F.

    Such as life... I stayed true though, which I guess says something about my character. It worked out for the better though, I am totally in love with my SO, she is very special to me, and there is no way I will allow things to go stale with her! The fact that she loves me back, is huge!

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  • 1 A is really important. You have to be able to miss on another. If you constantly text each other it's gonna get boring.

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  • i would say being too jelous
    but fuck, sometimes IS motivated - if she gives around her number and chat with all guys in a flirty manner if roles where inverted i would be concerned anyway!!

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  • 1. G) isn't ready for any real life social relation.

    Good take.

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  • MY view based on MY experience of many different type of relationship below.
    I'm a 59 year old man. 30 years ago married for 8 years with 3 sons now grown up and doing well (so we chose each other well from a parenting point of view).
    Then only platonic but nice relationships for 13 years.
    Another 8 year relationship more recently with no children.
    Several other shorter relationships before first marriage and after end of second 8 year relationship, but 'wilderness years' in between the 2 longer relationships.

    MY CONTROVERSIAL VIEW BASED ON THE KIND OF WOMAN THAT I GET TOGETHER WITH SO THIS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU !!

    Men (i. e. me) are simple, uncomplicated creatures -- when I'm hungry I go looking for food, when I hungry to give and/or receive love in the context of a lifelong friendship, I go looking for this also, and when things go wrong I do my best to put them right, but I'm pragmatic and will walk away if I have to, and I don't sulk for long, and I don't start throwing things when I'm not sure what my problem is.

    MY WOMEN -- are possessive, neglectful and/or negligent at will -- they end up confused and not knowing what they want, and all attempts to help them make matters worse -- I have done so many life skills classes over the years learning many approaches, attitudes, skills, techniques, methods and I have found that even being oneself doesn't work -- I am very depressed !!

    Is there something wrong with me -- or am I ending up with the wrong kind of women? Are some women not fit for relationships? Or is it that almost no one knows how to choose a compatible partner -- almost all of my friends have problematic relationships (albeit often in very different ways). Again, do I move in weird circles where all of my friends of all genders are equally weird, and if I'm the problem, then what is wrong with me as no psychotherapist seems to know -- mind you the Samaritans sometimes help me to do my own thinking which helps until I run into yet another drama/catastrophe (don't get me wrong; in some ways my life is great and this is why I carry on).

    The problem starts with women not trusting men, and then their suspicions multiply -- I suppose our switching from one kind of defense to another doesn't help -- they think we're playing games, when actually they are -- OMG !!

    With me, everyone is innocent until proven guilty, with women, once their suspicions are aroused, you're guilty and the jury don't understand your excuses (no matter how legitimate) !!

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    • WHY DO SOME WOMEN BLOCK YOU WHEN YOU GIVE THEM GOOD ADVICE?

      I was just about to send this, but I couldn't !!

      You want his love, but to accept his love, you have to put your heart in his hands, which is risky, because if he is a bastard (which I doubt) then your heart could get very badly bruised.

      Have you trusted your heart to someone before and then had your heart put though the mangle? I have -- horrible -- but I have learned -- and now my heart has even more love to give !!

      If you won't risk heart-pain, you will never find love -- you will push it away until it gives up (it will go ways very reluctantly and with much sadness -- but men tend to know when they can't win -- although a win for a good man has to be a win for the love of his life too, so please don't buy into this myth that most men are selfish -- many women are selfish -- this doesn't mean that many men are (some maybe, be careful of those, but be less careful of those where most of the signs are good) !!

  • That overly attached girlfriend picture always scares the shit out of me xD

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  • Cool myTake

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  • 3. You lack the understanding that a relationship is a partnership and you are now expected to take in to consideration the opinion of someone other than yourself when it comes to external projection. You're now part of something more than just individuality, you're part of a couple and if one half of the couple doesn't feel that you're willing to or able to be an equal other half they'll cut you off or try to explain to you why they feel that way.

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  • I didn't know I am the reason why my non existent relationship ended.

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    • Well now you know. IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT !!! :P

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    • All women are like this?
      The only proper solution is to stick only to one night stands?

    • @optimaxim I did not mean this. I meant if you are the only one putting work into a relationship while the other does not even bother, it's easier to drop it.

  • Think mine entered into Rs for convienience.. she didn't want to be alone knew I loved her and accepted that till a deal came along that was more convienient then me looking back she never did anything special for us or made an effort to build the Rs eventually gave up on sex and began cheating despite me making the effort to spice things up it just wasn't me she wanted.. I'm dissapointed she cheated , dissapointed she just didn't say I wasn't what she wanted and not enter into Rs to begin with had I known I would've bailed but she was very skilled at deception. And making me feel wanted when I began to pull away due to her neglect.. you'd think middle aged adult women and men would have their stuff sorted know what they want from a partner and not mind f... k peeps sadly infidelity is on the rise with women and men being equal in this regard

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  • The first girl gives me the creeps lol.

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  • I didn't get the messages I was supposed to guess.

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  • Growing apart is probably the most common one out of all them, which leads to the others happening such as no sex or cheating. So I'd say that is directly and indirectly 90% of the reason

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  • The problem is the first type always seems to end up with the second type.
    I find most people fall into either the first or second type.
    putting your friends before your partner is disrespectful. And trust is not intrinsic it is earned.

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  • women have thrown TRUST right out the window

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  • IT IS NOT LIKE THAT WAY... I THINK...

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  • i was talking to my ex 2 days ago
    and i realized that we both messed up and we both kept doing stupid stuff
    and fighting with each other instead of just forgiving each other

    the issue is she doesn't take responsibility for her mistakes, she completely blames me

    and she is lying to herself ughhh women

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    • "the issue is SHE"
      "She completely blames me"

      good thing you're not doing that at all...

    • @Octavius i admit i made mistakes but she won't

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What Girls Said 9

  • Lol.. yes it's my fault.. My fault because I gave him my all. He got bored πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ he doesn't want a good woman at all, he threw the 3yrs and did go for a bitchy and a gold digger one. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to act like that. I'm sorry if I was too soft, kind and always forgiving you even if you don't deserve it. I'm sorry for giving you a lot of chances and it's my fault of hoping that you would change. It's my fault because I allowed you to step on me, control me, abuse me emotionally, belittle me and name calling me whenever you're pissed. I'm sorry if playing online games is not my prirority because I have much to focus on having a great career and put up my own business. I'm sorry if I did not allow you to pay for what I really want because I can work hard for it.(Maybe you wanted to be the one who's always chasing). I'm sorry if I can change myself to the way you want me to be. I may be an independent woman but that doesn't mean that I would step on your ego. I'm sorry if I kept on pushing you to reach your goals and always got your back through up and downs (maybe you got pressured). It's my fault that our relationship ended, and you left me for someone else. I apologize for caring too much and loving you with all of my heart. And I can say that I'm okay now because I realized that I deserve someone better. And I hope that one day you'd realize that you've made a mistake for letting me slipped away lol.

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    • Yes, this article is directed towards people like your boyfriend.
      You did the right thing by realizing you deserve better!

    • This sort of thing gets confusing because there are so many different kinds of relationship out there. With men there are those who will never give up on women and those who've become cynical. You MUST learn to tell the difference !!

      The good guys may seem like abusers, but they aren't, so give them the benefit of the doubt.

      The bad guys see a sign on your back saying 'use me' and that's precisely what they do because they are uncaring selfish idiots. Then they use you and you come back for more so they think you like being used, so they say 'way hey' and use your some more, until you get pissed off, in which case they go away to use others with the same sign on their backs until you turn up again full of forgiveness and (as far as they can tell) begging for more !!

    • You DO deserve better, but when better turns up you get scared (because to secure better for yourself, he might want you to become a little better, and the idea that you're not good enough for a better man terrifies you !! But there's little to be scared of because a good man will support you 100% in return for even a small amount of trust and hence cooperation !!

  • At first I was neglectful because I pulled away from his constant phone calls and text messages and wanting to Skype every day... to being really jealous after finding out he had cheated on me twice before. Now I feel like my jealousy is overtaking the entire course of the relationship. o_o

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  • From my view, there is a main reason to end a relationship is sexually satisfied. Because I am always using some sex toys like large dildos, cheap sex machines, cheap vibrators, etc. When I am in bed with my partner. So I would like to thank β€œPleasureplayz” to make my life enjoyable. I hope this will help you.

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  • Being neglectful is definitely more likely to get your broken up with. Being controlling is a close second

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  • My ex was neglecting me but stupid me waited till he decided he was done wasting my time.

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  • I guess I'd say I'm the crazy girlfriend. I just know what I deserve and won't settle till I get it

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  • Damn , I guess I am the reason πŸ˜‚

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  • Being neglectful was my fault in the failure of our relationship. I didn't make enough time for him. However, he was quite the posessive person. I wasn't allowed to hang out with people of the opposite sex without him getting upset. If I told him I couldn't drive to his house (an hour away) he would tell me I didn't love him. I can sit here and give pages of examples but overall, the more posessive he got, the more neglectful I became.

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  • If you're religious and are both supposed to have limited contact with the opposite sex then your other half having friends of the opposite sex isn't being controlling but expected.

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