I Love and Miss You: A Letter I'll Never Send

[Anonymous]

I miss you.

I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss our late night conversations. I miss the way your arms felt around me. I miss how you playfully teased me. I miss sleeping in your bed, my nose buried in the sweatshirt you'd worn that day. I miss the smell of your cologne. I miss your voice. I miss your stubbornness. I even miss fighting with you. you know why? Because our fights were worth it. You're worth it.

You're worth every tear I've cried over you. I know people say that the right person won't make you shed tears, but I think that's a lie. Those you love will drive you to that point sometimes. The only difference is that it's worth the pain. And you're worth every fight we've had, every night I spent thinking about how you messed up, and how I messed up, and considering whether or not I should swallow my pride and say sorry to you.

You might not care, but I think about you every day. I don't try to, but you just keep wandering into my mind, and I don't know how to get over you. I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. But I can't. Even on my busiest days, when I'm not supposed to be thinking of you because there's too much else going on, I miss you. I still wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you, laugh with you, hug you.

And it hurts that I can't. It hurts more than you'd imagine. It feels like a part of me was ripped away, and that's honestly an incredibly scary feeling. Love is a scary feeling. I didn't necessarily want to fall in love with you. In fact, I tried not to. But it happened anyway. And now I'm stuck in this trap of trying to forget you, remembering you, telling myself I'll be okay without you, and then missing you.

I miss being able to tell you everything. I don't have anyone else I can tell everything to. I only had you. Well, I could tell you everything except how I feel about you. And when I told you things, you'd help me without even saying a word. You didn't talk at me and tell me what to do and how to do it, you'd just listen. Only when I asked you for advice did you give me advice, or when you could tell that I was on the verge of breaking down if you didn't. And I'd listen to you and give advice to you in return. I like to think that I helped you, too, but maybe not.

Every day, I wake up thinking of you. Every night, you're the last thought on my mind. I know it sounds cliche, but you are. And I miss you. I miss you like hell. But I don't know if you miss me. You probably don't. But honestly, part of me is glad. I don't want you to feel as hurt as I do. You deserve better than that. Just remember, though, that you were everything to me. You're still everything to me. And I'd do anything for you.

I love you.

[ImmunoDane]

Very beautiful! I love how you bare your soul like that. I know you're not asking for any advice so you may stop reading here :-)

Okay, what I would do is clean up your thoughts of any negativity that might be there. A few times in your letter you refer to what sounds like an almost painful yearning. I invite you to gently stop doing that and to focus only on the positive things about the relationship.

Relationsips go on forever, they never stop. They may not be expanding right now, as in this case, but you're still in each other's spirits and your story proves my point. Whether he (?) is thinking of you or not, you're there.

When you're pretty stable over time in a purely positive vibration about this relationship, I'd rewrite the letter so it matches your now yearning-free love.

And then I'd send it.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks!

I see our fights as a positive though because the reason I fell in love with him is because I saw that he wasn't perfect and was still willing to accept that. He was just as stubborn as I was but we both accepted that anyway. I don't regret anything from fighting with him because it's what made us stronger. The crying I do t think I'd tell him about because I'm not gonna guilt trip him into wanting to be with me, but if I see him again like he plans (we didn't work out because we're young and since he was moving, it would've had to be long distance and we are still trying to finish college so neither of us are in a position to be together) I want to tell him at least part of this.

[Anonymous]

This is the best take i have ever read. I broke down in tears reading it :( because i can relate to it so much.

[arizonawatermelon]

same breakups fucking suck

[HeWhoPonders]

I don't know. If I were single and I got a letter like that, you'd be back into my life faster than you could say "make up fuckin."

[Unit1]

Would be very flattering to receive such a letter!

I could write a similar letter to someone, who wouldn't be able to receive or read it :(

[Kusher11]

Thats some good shit, is it possible to get over her? I dont know but just keep in mind if that love you give to someone who apperiates it... He/ she will be there they will always stick to your side keep loving man, many are dying for such love

[Alex88F]

did it as well. so many love and Death letters i never sent... sigh!

[looneymalooney]

How long since you guys fell apart?

[myTake Owner]

5 months

[looneymalooney]

what happened though, isn't there a way for you guys to try and work it out?
I've been there with the love of my life. It was the first girl that I actually truly loved. It fell apart and after we stopped talking, neither of us said anything to stop the pain. No closure, at least not for me.
I poured my heart to her, she simply stood there did nothing. Don't blame her, but wish she would have offered the chance of a dialogue.

For a while I kept going out with the group, as in my desperation, I wasn't realizing it is over. I thought it will somehow work out.
Then when I simply cut everyone out of my life, the reality hit her, she realized and got desperate, posting cheesy messages on her facebook.
I wish she had the guys to actually sit me down and have a grown up conversation.
Did not happen.

[myTake Owner]

It's a loooong story about us. I've shared bits and pieces of it but the whole thing is long and complex and sort of a mess. But we were never officially dating. We were just friends but we acted like a couple sometimes. But we still check up on each other and he promised we'd see each other again

[myTake Owner]

Sorry to hear what happened to you by the way:( Did you ever get over her?

[looneymalooney]

he promised you'd see each other again as in dating?
I believe just checking on each other once in a while will only hurt you more.

It is a complicated story in my case as well. I sometimes wonder if those things she said along the lines of "i will always love you" "i will never forget you", "you will always be in my heart" actually meant something or it's something girls say to all the guys. These are things she posted on her facebook after it went down the drain, but she did not have the guts to actually contact to say it personally or maybe try to mend this.

If i got over her. Not sure. I still think of her pretty often actually. I still feel hurt. It's been 3 years.

Maybe you can update this in 2,5 years and let me know if the things you said here were actually just a way for you to vent or actually meant something for real :)

[myTake Owner]

He meant that he wasn't not going to see me again. We never dated in the first place and like I said I never told him I loved him, but I think he had a good idea. When he was leaving he didn't even say anything at first, he just hugged me as soon as he came through the door of my house and didn't let go for a while. Then we did talk a little but of course he had to leave eventually and I started crying (just a little, I saved most of my tears for after he left because I didn't want him to feel bad leaving or look stupid crying) and hugged him again and told him I'd miss him. He didn't say anything, he just hugged me tighter. But after we let go as he was leaving, he said that he knew it wasn't gonna be the last time we'd see each other. He was kinda upset too during all this.

I know in my case, I don't just say those things to all guys. Some girls do, but others don't. So it's hard to tell. Was she really affectionate/open? I know I'm not so when I say it I mean it

[looneymalooney]

the similarities between our stories though :))
We did not get together either. There was no hugging and saying goodbye though.
It was the strangest, most confusing and painful thing I've been through.

What kind of a girl she was... opened? the most sociable girl EVER, she would have no problem talking to people.
Opened about her feelings? No way! hiding and trying not to show it.
She did have these moments, where she would show she cares indirectly by asking if I'm cold, if I'm ok, if I need something. She was somehow trying to protect me.
But then it all went to bits and pieces and I have no idea what happened.
Man I miss those things... So i don't know, I sometimes think what would go through her mind if we were to bump into each other a few years from now and have to spend some time together.
Always wondered why would a girl fear of confessing to a guy she likes.

[looneymalooney]

*I miss those things, as in I miss her asking if I'm ok, because I could feel she is doing that with the best intentions and that she wants to take care of me.
Don't know about other guys, but I like when the girl does these little things by which she indirectly show she cares

[myTake Owner]

It's scary talking about feelings haha But yeah, it sounds like she really did care. I just am not good with words and neither was he. I didn't know if he was gonna come say goodbye before he left because we were both busy so I went to see him two days before and we were just talking and then I had to go so I went to hug him and told him it was in case I didn't see him again. He hugged me back but he was confused and said he was coming over right before he left. And then he did and we could barely say anything. We just hugged but we both knew what we meant. Neither of us are affectionate but we hug each other when we need to say things we don't know how to word. One time we fought and I was trying to apologize and he told me it wasn't my fault. I tried to apologize still and he just hugged me and it all ended fighting after that. That was the first time we hugged. I miss his hugs. He always smelled really good, too haha

[Pedro_N]

" A Letter I'll Never Send"

[LovePeaceHarmony420]

Im still waiting for a letter... :(

[Anonymous]

Aw, I'd love to get a letter like this :)

[DeltoidFan]

yeaa ikr (: