What's the best thing to do when he leaves you for his ex?

I was seeing a guy for seven months, I thought we were deeply in love. everything was pretty good, we had our arguments, but we became best friends. everything moved really fast but he told me every day how much he loved me and meant to me. well, out of the blue, he started acting like a jerk. I told him he needed to treat me nicer. after a long talk, he told me he doesn't know what the problem is, he needs to be by himself, wants a break, etc. he said he wouldn't be dating anyone else because he knows leaving me is a dick move, but its what he wanted. well, two weeks went by and I didn't hear anything from him except that he doesn't know and he needs time. I found out from one of his old friends that he's been trying to get back with his ex. he would constantly talk about how bad their relationship was, how much he hated her, and I guess they had a lot of problems. why the hell would he leave me to go back to her? the last thing I said to him was that he doesn't need time, I know who he chose, and that I hope it works out. of course, he didn't have anything to say back to that. but I really don't understand. I know I shouldn't talk to him ever again. but I'm wondering, why he would leave me for her in the first place for this girl who hurt him so bad? he knows me and him had something really good. will he ever try talking to me again, and will he end up regretting this later? does anybody know from past experiences how a guy will act once he does something like that?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Awe hun! I'm sooooo srry, I know how you feel, in my opinion he wasn't over her in the first place, it's kinda like girls. We can pick asses for the one we love and no matter how much it hurts us we still hold on to them hoping they'll change. Although you were there for him and gave him ur heart and soul things won't always go how you want without an unexpected turn, maybe this is a sign that he wants you but he wants to make sure he can stay with you and be faithful, I know that sounds weird with the situation, but that's what happended to me, we dated for 8months, the he broke up with me out of the blue and said he needed "time to figure things out" I gave him time and he went with his ex the bitch down the street from me so I was seeing him no matter what. they broke up after a good 3 months and he canme rihgt back to me, I asked him why I should take him back and he said "I really do love you I just had to make sure all old flames with her were over and they are, Ur the one I want to be with,I'm srry I hurt you I didn't mean it but if you take me back I swear I won't break ur heart ever again." So yeah... I knoww he hurt you but reallly give him a little bit if he doesn't get his head out of his ass but they , then he really wasn't worth ur time. you dserve someone who will ALWAYS love and care for you no matter what.


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  • If he tried to get back with his ex just two weeks after he dumped you that means he was never really over her. If he talked about her throughout your relationship, even if the things he said about her were bad...that still means she was on his mind. If he did make a mistake he'll have to figure it out on his own. There's really nothing you can do. Just let him go, because if he acted like a total jerk once for no reason and left you,who's to say if you two did get back together he wouldn't do it again,and trust me it hurts just as bad if not more the second time around.You should move on. He's not good enough.Find someone awesome-er! Good Luck!

    • Ive had the same situation too this guy I was talking with for 3 months left me for his ex after everything I did for him, I just wanted to make him happy & he doesn't see it it hurts because I still like him & I feel so much anger with him for how he did me, I just hope later on he regrets it & realizes how he did me...

  • My boyfriend of one year did the same just this week, but it was his ex that had left him three years ago and she told him in the summer (while I was on vacation) that she loved him and regretted leaving him and that she would not interfer in our relationship because she liked me and how I treated the kids). I told him it was a matter of time before she broke us up. He disagreed. She had done this many times before but his relationships weren't that serious. and I know that she was freaked about the fact that we were nearing a year. I could feel a distance and after a fabulous trip to Tokyo this past week he told me he was giving it another shot. #5 on the roller coaster for him. He also said the last time, either it works or it does not but he has to do this. Note: he never truly completely separated as they still shared financial entities and other aspects that bothered me. I told him he was a fool to walk away from this a return to someone who constantly belittled him, and his friends have told him the same. I also told him that I would not wait for him and he was playing "craps" in this game, and I will probably be with someone new when he comes to realize she is the same. Unfortunately they had a 20 year history and she had cards (manipulation and guilt) that I don't play nor have. And I knew he still loved her so she knew that she would get him back. It hurts and when we finally had our face-to-face (most discussions were on the phone - no fault of his as I brought it up), I was able to walk away with my head held hig because I had done everything in our relationship with honesty and integrity. This will truly be his loss, but mine as well for his was the first long-term serious relationship I had after my horrible marriage of 19 years broke up. He did show me how to love, be loved and that I was worthy. Now to move on, no contact, no email reply, nothing. Girlfriends when the woman leaves the man, and he still loves her you can't compete with how he still feels for her and you will only have 85% of his heart. We deserve 100%+.

    • 3mo

      your situation sounds just like mine. Only our relationship was 3 and a half years together. And he ended it to get back with her. 6months on when i had nearly gotten over him he came back saying he wanted me. But was with her now , they didn't sleep together , he didn't love her like he did. He just felt sorry for her and he missed the naughtiness we had. So stupid me gave into him twice thinking I could use him as friends with benefits , like he was using me . But It sent my head west so I have had no contact for 34 days. He keeps texting me asking whats wrong to saying he misses my smile , which was the last text I had from him last week. Only to find this week he has changed his profile picture on whatsapp , to him and her? Sending my head fuzzy again and asking

  • If he was constantly talking about how bad their relationship was and how much he hated her that goes to show he was never over her. If a guy is talking about an old relationship that often it should be a red flag that there are still some feelings there. Guys who are actually over a relationship will leave it behind them and focus on their relatinoship wtih you. He obviously was never that into you and was using you as a way to forget about his ex. He prob began talking to her while you two were still together which made him want her even more. Just let it go, be glad you didn't waste any more time on him. Don't ever contact him again, and don't ever think about going out with him again. He is selfish, and wasted your time. The only time he will regret this later is when he: gets bored of her, old problems come back, she doesn't want him anymore. He seems pretty ballsy so there is a chance you will hear from him at some point in the future. DONT ENTERTAIN HIM!