Ex-boyfriend is dating my roommate. What to do?

[Anonymous]

i found out that my ex boyfriend is dating my roommate. well here's some background. ex and I first started dating in 8th grade going on and off. we split up before college because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship and I really hurt. well this is year 4 for me and him in college and earlier this week I saw him on campus. I said hi and we talked for a little bit and I found out that he had transfered. Well anyway back to the problem. yesturday I walked in on my roommate and him while they were shoving their tongues down each others' throat. I was shocked and I dropped every thing and ran out cause I just totally FREAKED. Well later last night when I finally thought I had calmed down, I went back to my room, slowly opened the door and walked in. they were both sitting there on the couch looking down at their hands. My roommate ask if I was okay, and I was like hell no. then she started crying and so did i. my ex just sat there like thinking I guess and he then finally said, I didn't know you two knew each other. and... I jumped in and said, why? why did you say that you didn't want a long distance relationship and yet you have one? he answers I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't know what to do or say. I mean I loved you both so much and I couldn't choose. my roommate goes, "and yet you still chose me and you dip her off?"

i ran out of the room after that and spent a night with my guy friends in their place. Today I just don't feel like trying to talk to either one of them.

Am I being to freaked or should I just go on? PLEASE HELP ME!

freak out

chill out

report to hell

Wait....i need details

Updates

+1 y

kay so this is my sisters acount so I'm not under 18 if it seems weird. I'm 22. Just stating

[islands7]

My crystal ball is that you will keep your Girlfriend and both of you will reject the Boyfriend ... if you keep your cool. You have a long road ahead of being disrepected, the most hurtful from those you love the most. This will pass and serves to toughen you up for this future ... and training yourself to stay cool.

I bring to mind the Prayer of Saint Francis, a prayer revered for centuries. In these words, I am reassured that as I give, so I receive:

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive.

[stubbsy]

No you have a right to be upset, but if I am honest, you should try to show little emotion about this, because although you are the victim here and its never nice to be in the situation your in, but if you speak to your roomy, you can get things working in your favour by insisting he does not come into your dorm, and that throwing it in your face is very disrespectful, but try and remain mature and composed about all this, because this will prove to him that your worth a lot better than he could ever give you, good luck,x

[southerngurl1124]

There is a reason he is your ex. Move on and find someone better than him. Who cares if it is your roommate he is dating? He's just trying to find happiness, just like you should.

[Erwin]

I choose "report to hell" because I've no idea what's that supposed to mean. But yeah, anyone will freak out. In any case, that kind of guy doesn't deserve a girl like you. Just move on, I know it's difficult but you have to be the one in control here. I'm sure it's just as awkward for them as for you so they'd try to avoid doing such things again in your room.

[gonyr]

like the other answer, be upset if they shove it in your face.

but its been 4 years, and you should both respect that. if he transferred there, he has a right to date someone there. its a complete coincidence. Neither he, or your roommate, were trying to hurt you in anyway.

maybe just ask that he doesn't spend nights over if it makes you really uncomfortable. maybe you'll grow more accepting of it