There's the obvious things like being broke and having no ambition or being too shy or being too arrogant or being too ugly etc etc etc that are obvious things a person can change. Yet, I feel most people go through the dating world not quite understanding how they're actually unattractive in a lot of ways and it all has to do with their personalities. Here are four types that you probably are if you find yourself confused as to why your love life doesn't look the way you want it to.
You know I only wanted drugs and you got me all strung out on love...
The uber romantic doesn't sound very harmful and actually sounds like a fantasy until you see how his romantic side possesses him into not having any dignity or self respect, which he feels the girl wants from him. The uber romantic fantasizes about the perfect loving relationship and occasionally this works out for him, but more often girls find themselves oddly unaroused by his type. It's one of the most perplexing ironies we face in dating--why is being so good so punished? To think of it a little differently--think about the popular kids back in school (or maybe you were the popular kid) did you ever notice how some of the other kids would suck up to him like they felt really cool just talking and hanging out with them in public and to achieve this they sort of tried to be the nicest most helpful they could be so that they could stick around? Well, no one, unless they're massively narcissitic and maybe not even then, actually likes it when people suck up to them. It could be entertaining for a little while, but no one actually wants you to give their power away they just like to try to. Similarly, the uber romantics are constantly confused by their lack of luck and haunted by the nightmare that the person they put way up on a pedestal is going to hook up with someone who treats him/her with the raw animilalism that they wish the uber romantic would occasionally do. They always ask you what you want to do, they let you talk to them anyway you feel like it and just stay quiet, they revolve around you and live to make you happy. The uber romantics do too much
A generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is the answer we really need.
Big secret on how to be cool--don't react to anything. The cool robots seem unbothered by anything anyone says, does, or feels. It seems to not even register with them. They typically come into the room and you can feel the buzz of their charisma and power and yet they themselves would say they love lives are very lacking. How could this be? Sexually and romantically, the lack of reaction to other people's presense, thoughts, and ideas follows them around! In bed, they don't really care about the person or the actual sex itself. It's just an action. It's just a confirmation of how cool they are. In romance, they're idealized for their independent spirit and high value, but they don't care about anyone and the other person inevitably gets tired of this. Coolness brings people to you but ironically "corniness" is what makes them want to stay. The cool robot is invulnerable and this is his/her undoing. Nothing good or bad gets inside that casing.
The same thing we do ever night, Pinky...
The Sim does everything right. He/she smiles disarmingly when you meet, is mannerable and yet him/herself, you two have a great day, you don't stop talking for hours, your friends approve when they see you on Instagram together, they write you some of the most amazing poetry you've ever read, you have phenomenal sex, they always call back even when you call too much. And then...the exact same thing happens again....and again...and again. Sims don't understand the natural need for variety no matter how great one thing is. They always think in terms of duplication and repetition and when they're left despite apparently being perfect they scratch their heads and decide that this "always happens to them." There's just something missing from the Sims and it's just something different.
I dont want to love you... but sometimes... I have to.
Advice is a wonderful thing and I am a junkie myself. Yet, there's a time to be "in the lab" as it were and think and deconstruct and reflect and analyze and strategize and then there's a time to be out there and just be a person. The addict is constantly hearing advice even when he/she isn't actually hearing advice. They've learned so much about everything that everything feels like a simulation to deconstruct. People aren't people they are "learning lessons." They are in bed and going through the complex knowledge they have of the human body or in Paris thinking about it's better to be sporadic than to plan everything on a date but it's also good to know a general idea of how you want the day to go so you don't seem lost. They don't trust any natural human emotion they have they don't follow any thought long enough to say it out loud. It is all about getting success not the success itself. An addict's lovers are often frustrated and feel subconciously that they are dating a scientist/gamer who wants to observe and understand life and not someone who actually wants to live it.