We can talk about being confident all day--I could tell you you're great and that you can be however you want to be and that the opposite gender is your oyster and that all you need to do is have confidence. But, the application is never that simple. How can one change especially so much? There are ways indeed but you probably won't like them as some diatribe about the importance of self love. Here are three ways to ACTUALLY break off your inhibitions and make that change you want.
Constantly Tell Embarresing Stories About Your Stuff
If you have a problem of taking yourself too seriously and deeply caring about not looking stupid in front of others, one small but significant step is to tell embarresing stories about yourself. I once dropped brand new dvds into the mailbox thinking it was mail. I was put my hand up to shake someone's hand and they swatted it away and said they only wanted to shake my sisters hand. My dad dropped champagne on my head when i was nine right before a play date and all the moms thought i was a baby drunk. A group of sorority girls saw me jack off once when i didn't know they were in my bedroom. The point here isn't to complain about your life but find the humor in it as and also realize it's not a big deal to anyone but you. If anything, it endears you to other people. They love your fml story and telling them helps you loosen up and get into that state of being real and authentic regardless of how what might slip through the cracks.
Act Really Silly
This is the intermediate phase. You have to be able to move and act a little silly and be ok with looking kind of stupid. Ease into it a bit at a time. Maybe at first say...she was acting like a lion rawrrrrrrr rawrrrrrrr and then the next time once you feel comfortable putting it as mocking behavior you might just walk up to someone you know and go rawrrrrr rawrrrrrrr i'm a lion! it sounds easy but doing something that will 90% get you laughed at or given a weird look is something most people's bodies resist to some degree for some a really strong degree. Yet mastering your own physicality is a step that can't be skipped.
The last phase is that one thing that seems very difficult for many. This is advanced. This is for peole who've gotten where shame doesn't really phase them. Once you're here the task is to literally scream as loud as you can in front of other people who don't know you that well. If you rush to this final phase too soon, your voice will come off really weak and unconvincing and you'll just look sad. But once you're ready to commit the fact that you can scream and let go like that will break down that final level of inhibition in you. The one thing I will say is that if you rush yourself to this stage and fail and then keep going you'll reach the end a lot faster than if you pace yourself but it will be a bumpier rode.
So, there's some things you can do to become more socially out loud. From here, you have a lot more options. If you're quiet, it's a choice not a result of not knowing what to say that you feel comfortable saying out loud. You will naturally rise to the top of any social gathering by the fact that you're far less inhibited than anyone else there. Tailor this to not be annoying, but honestly the biggest challenge for most people is letting themselves live out loud. Remember, it's not learning to do something...it's unlearning to do things to hold yourself back.