First Dates And Other Disasters

"Increase your chances of getting to second date by not having stinky garlic breath during the end of the first date. Especially if you’re dating a vampire." Jarod Kintz

You didn't take my title seriously did you? Good.

First Dates And Other Disasters.

Now that's not something you should do on your first date.

I think dates can be simply divided into two types. Working and not working. And first dates simply work or don't. After all the first impression is the best impression. And in this case the last impression. So here's what you shouldn't do on your first date. Yes, stuff you SHOULDN'T do. Again Emphasis on shouldn't.

1) Don't Booze Too Much (If you hit the bar)

I don't like to hit the bar at all during first dates, a first date is supposed to be spent learning and being interested in the person. I'm partial to two reasons why I don't like to booze on the first date.

A) Getting too drunk gets you disorderly and in worst case scenario, jail or

B) Sex, now I have nothing against sex on dates whatsoever, but I think sex on the first date is kinda cheap. What's cheaper is drunk first date sex which is really kinda miserable when you wake up next to your date with a hangover.

2) Don't be self obsessed

The easiest way to repel someone is to be an asshole. The easiest way to be an asshole is to recite your life history and how you pulled off the Herculean task of this and that and that again. Impressive, if you want to shoo your date. Instead you can lend an ear. Listening never killed anyone. And its great practice if you wanna really change something if you run for presidency.

3) Be humorous, don't be obnoxious

See there's a very thin line in being humorous and being a downright witless bum. Don't be desperate to please your date. Take your time and maintain the flow and nail it when you get the opportunity. Improvisation is awesome. Be natural about it.

4) Don't Use The 'M' Word

No. Don't do Disney. And definitely don't use the M word. Because.... Well. Because... You know....

Its creepy and desperate and soooo out of place and it defies relativity. Its just wrong. If the person open up about a past experience fine. But do not discuss the institution of marriage and your expectations for the ideal wedding day. Nope, it just brings a hailstorm of weird talk and complications. Just avoid it altogether.

5) Don't Compose Monologues About Your Ex. Emphasis On The Period.

Fewer things are more offensive to your date than obsessing over your ex. NO. Don't do it.

Its really a shoddy way of screwing things over on the date. No, its a deal breaker. It ruins the entire point of the date.

6) Don't Leave Your Date Hanging, Pay Attention To Them.

One of the meanest, horriblest and terriblest things you can do is ignore your date. Its quite offensive, after all the effort they put to make the time and possibly take a chance on you. Its definitely a deal breaker. Not only does your date feel crap, but it makes you a real asshole.

7) Don't Be Desperate.

Desperation stinks, and boy, does it stink bad. People are desperate for different reasons, sex, attention, loneliness. Whatever the heart feels its missing. But being desperate is pitiable. And people never date out of pity, its just plain sad.

8) Don't be a stiff, Have fun.

Last but definitely not the least. You ought to enjoy your time. If you're faking or trying too hard, it just won't work. After all even you've given time and consideration to your date. It applies the most to you. If you genuinely enjoyed the company without too much hassle and your date felt the same way. Its a win-win. And that's how the first steps begin.

Of course, you ought to follow #dating101. Thank you for reading this MyTake admist the huge influx of dating myTakes #BlackFriday has caused. Again, thank you for reading. Ciao.

Chief16 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 2

  • 1 C) You might tell him/he what you shouldn't.
    That was a great take.
    Pro tip: Don't write point number eight as - 8 ) it'll convert it into 😎
    Write it like #8 / 8.) / 8.

  • Not being constantly on your phone helps too.