Let's Talk About Exs!

Let's Talk About Exs!

I have seen several articles circulating around the GAG community in regards to exs. Forget about the Ex, move on, close the doors, goodbye... Commentary and advice from fellow users on this site has included things like "Why would you want an ex back? Why are you still sad about him?"

Well here is my opinion on exs!

1. Easier said than done; feelings aren't a light switch

People may date, and live together for years, and although they may choose to break up as the relationship has fizzled out- that doesn't mean that the moment they part ways the emotions and feelings turn off like a light switch. We are humans, we aren't programmed that way. Many vulnerabilities were shared with another person, and even if a couple no longer loves one another- it could even be the loneliness or the habit/routine of being together that may hurt when the separation occurs. So by telling people to move on, forget about the ex.... as lovely as that sounds, and unless that person suffers from Alzheimers, we CAN'T just forget.

2. People do change, if they want to

My friend of 9 years, dated a guy for 7 years. They broke up for about 6 months, because for one he didn't want children, and secondly he couldn't secure a job. He came back after half a year, letting my friend know that he not only has a job that he enjoys and plans of doing whatever it takes to grow within the company, but after thinking about how much he loved her, he wants to have children with her. Well of course everyone, including myself was cynical. They have been married for 3 years, with a baby on the way. Her now husband has been with the company for years, and was recently promoted to a managerial position. They are so happy! Now of course this is rare, but sometimes people do change and when you truly love someone you'll do what it takes to make it work.

3. Venting helps

When people vent and talk about their feelings and issues, it helps them clear their minds. It is like the energy of stress and frustration leaves them (even if just temporarily). So by being supportive we are helping a person express themselves. There is no need to shoot people down for feeling a certain way. Breakups are painful no matter what.

4. Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it won't work for them

I love how some of the responses on here, are filled with bitter endings and terrible, cynical examples. Just because something didn't work for you, doesn't mean that it won't work out for the other person. One off examples, and tragic endings may be dramatic in nature, but that certainly isn't a standard for everyone.

5. You rarely get all the information

When people write articles, or share their stories we rarely get all the details of an 8 year relationship. We can't tell what the reason was, or whether a person is being biased in their interpretation of execution of information. So it's hard to give good advice sometimes. Better to be positive and understanding than bashing a person in pain.


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What Guys Said 12

  • 6d

    Lets talk about X's

    For starters, the swastika X—or cross—has come to symbolize the very essence of evil. And the letter, as signified by the skull and crossbones, portrays death by poison. Yet it also represents virtue and eternal life in being employed as an abbreviation for Christ in Christmas, and for Christianity generally. Such a curious dichotomy only hints at the many convoluted complexities of a letter seemingly “designed” to beguile us with contradictory connotations.

    In this post, I’ll attempt the unusually challenging task of organizing the various meanings of this strangest, and most alluring, of letters. “X” may take up less space in the dictionary than any of its 23 compatriots but, in terms of its diverse uses, it’s a letter that defines, well, overcompensation. For it seems, waywardly, to want to sprawl out in every direction imaginable. As such, it rigorously resists all attempts to restrain it. Nonetheless, I’ve sought here to somehow “rein it in,” to make this piece as comprehensible as possible, so as not to overwhelm the reader with the almost dizzying functions that, over the centuries, the letter has taken on.

    Because it’s been employed in so many fields—from algebra, to genetics, to aerospace, to sex and spirituality—X’s abundant meanings have almost everything to do with the context that engages it. So in my efforts to categorize its disparate functions, I’ve struggled to find groupings that might accommodate its perversely “wandering,” or unstable, nature. Which is why some of my categories may seem arbitrary, and also why my last segment highlights its heterodoxy through the grabbag heading of “miscellaneous symbology.” For unquestionably, the broad array of meanings associated with “X” make all the other letters of the alphabet seem mundane—or puny—by comparison.

    Even within contexts—say, the field of sports—“X’s” meaning can vary substantially. So, for example, a strike in baseball is not a good thing for a batter (and a strikeout even worse). But in bowling, a strike is a very good thing, for it means knocking down all 10 pins—or should I say "X pins" since, after all, X is the Roman numeral for 10. Moreover, an overall score of all X’s represents nothing short of bowling perfection (comparable to batting a 1,000!).

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  • 3d

    Dude you ex above is HOOOOOT. And im not even gay, but maybe for him.
    Negative people change depending on their life experiences. You think any military vet who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night from his buddies dying wants to be doing that? No, life happens, people change for the better or for the worse.

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  • 5d

    That guy is used in so many different mytakes 😂

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  • 6d

    agree with your take, I hate the fact after my ex let her parents focused us apart people thought it should just feel nothing for her like a switch. I always always been honest with anyone willing to listen about why we were forced to break up and the mistake we both made during the break up. But most people always agree if she loved me as much as she said she did she would have tried fighting for me over then crying. I won't lie too you I moved on it will be 30 months this aug 22 and it still feel something for her but it no longer let it effect me. I am in a happy 10 month relationships thats close to perfect and my current girlfriend doesn't let her family control our relationship which was a bit problem with me in the ex. I guest as time went on it felt why cry over someone who doesn't wanna fight for you? Why kill myself over something I got more control of? Simple I said what's meant to be will happen but it won't spend my life waiting on anyone.

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  • 6d

    Easier said than done when
    1. they are actively still trying to bury you socially because you can testify to all their lies
    2. they blindsided you, stabbed in back for years with a lovers mask securely in place
    3. did all the sneaky dirty stuff then covered you with the mud publically
    4. no etiquette to simply overtly stand up & say I want out, this is too hard (forging a career together)

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  • 6d

    Nope... move on... They are the past. Always look forward, never backward. Never associated with an ex.. ever, and my life has turned out fine.

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  • 6d

    The dude at the top is actually my profile pic for Plenty of Fish. You'd be surprised how many dumb broads have messaged me and sounded interested.

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  • 5d

    Some wounds never heal. There's always "what could have been...

    Love is blind. Fools fall in love.

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  • 6d

    My ex-girlfriend felt the need to tell my new potential girlfriend about my sexual preferences while I was on a date in a restaurant. That was majorly embarrassing. The ex said she felt she needed to "warn" her because she felt blind-sided by my bi-sexuality.

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  • 6d

    Do whatever works for you.

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  • 2d

    SCOTLAND IS MY GIRL AND SHE NEVER LEFT ME!

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  • 6d

    nah im good

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What Girls Said 12

  • 6d

    I'm friends with two of my high school exes. The rest of them can burn in hell!

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  • 4d

    My "ex" was my first anything with a guy. I was so caught up in him that I didn't even realize that he didn't like me. He only stuck with me because he felt bad that other guys didn't want to date me. I'm a lot more cautious now when it comes to guys and dating. I feel everything happens for a reason and there's always a lesson to take out of situations.

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  • 2d

    I think that all of it is easier said than done. We all cope differently: I tend to crawl into a shell, disconnect from the world, and occasionally hit the rum a little too hard. We all need distractions and we all find them in different ways.

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  • 6d

    Is it bad I really want ex-sex :c like oh my god, how do single people do it? I need sex.

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  • 6d

    Um no thanks

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  • 6d

    I guess it all depends on why the couple broke up in the first place. I tried 2 times with my ex and it did not work, the same shit as the first after he promised he changed. So no thanks. The ex is the ex for a reason

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  • 6d

    and this is coming from the same girl who admitted to cheating on multiple guys at once because you felt none of them were the right one? out of all people you have trouble moving on and getting closure? strange, I thought you liked switching boyfriends.

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  • 3d

    Wow that dude😍😍😍
    Anyway to me once I've moved on there is no way that I'll turn back.

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  • 6d

    I clicked on this because I thought the guy in the first pic was hot, LOL
    But yes, I agree with your points there. I find them to be very true (based on my own experiences).

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  • 3d

    I stabbed my ex lolz

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  • 4h

    No, people do NOT change, just because they want to, or when they want to.

    People only change gradually as their beliefs and opinions change, or because they have been forced to. Even then, rebellion is natural, and it still takes a while.

    Any drastic changes that occur over a short time, are only one of two things: And act, or they are reverting to who they really are after pulling an act.

    Actions affect thoughts, thoughts affect feelings, we can only control one of these things. Making small changes in your actions and reactions will eventually cause a shift in your thought patterns, and over time, that will cause a change in your personality as your feelings change.

    Your friend's husband didn't change either. He probably didn't realize what he had until he let it go; he was probably willing to do all of those things, but he wasn't sure if he wanted that, with her, until he lost her.

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  • 5d

    i think it is better not to talk about them lol

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