Does he just want sex?

I know I've struggled to tell wether or not a guy is just after sex or if he wants a serious relationship before and I'm sure there are several other girls have to. So, I thought I'd share my take on how I've learned to tell the difference.

Does he just want sex?

1) He calls you last minute and doesn't make plans for a later date if you're busy. I don't think I can emphasize this one enough. If he really wants to spend time with you he will make every effort to do so, even if it's only for 5 minutes. This means he's probably never going to ask you on a proper date because he doesn't consider you girlfriend material.

2) He only calls you once or twice a week (and never on weekends). This ties in with my first point. He has reserved his weekends for people he cares about, not girls he just wants to sleep with.

3) He never pays for you. If he doesn't pay, its not a date. This obviously doesn't mean that he has to pay for you every single time you go out, but on the odd occasion (if he's not just after sex), he will make an effort.

4) You never meet his friends. The less information you have about him, the easier it is for him to ditch you. If you don't know who he hangs out with, or where he lives, or what his last name is, he can easily stop answering your calls and texts and disappear into the night.

5) He always turns the convosation to sex. Every time you talk or text, it somehow turns into a conversation about sex and he's might have even stopped being suttle about it or given up flirting with you all together.

6) He only compliments your looks. He's only interested in your appearence, not your personality. If his compliments are shellow and superficial at best he's just not that into you.

I hope this helps at least the younger girls on here!


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What Guys Said 7

  • The problem is not the guy who only wants sex. The problem is girls having sex in the hope that it will lead to genuine affection. Girls, have sex (safely) if you feel like having sex. That way, if all you get is sex, you got something you wanted. Don't have sex hoping for something else. That's just as dishonest as the guy who promises something else to get sex.

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    • I wish there was a most helpful comment for takes, I would give it to you if there was!

    • Point very well conveyed. That's why I've grown to only sleep with guys and not date them, although that's starting to change for better or worse.

  • I fully agree with 1, 2, 4. Those three are 100% true.

    6 probably has some truth. The problem with 5 and 6 is a guy can like a girl quite a bit, and still always initiate sex or be thinking about sex a lot because... he's a young guy. It doesn't mean he just wants sex, it may just mean its very high in his mind.

    3, I don't necessarily agree (though I always paid). I would replace 3 with 'never wants to go out on dates'. If he wants to go out to restaurants, movies, activities etc with you, even if you're paying you're own way, that suggests he wants to spend time and (his own) money hanging out with you where sex isn't going to happen. Guys who only want sex NEVER want to do anything BUT go to your place, or his.

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  • If he is not trying to actually getting to know you and he seems to be rushing things, Tell him that you are holding out for the right one. When I was dating, The ones I had dated also had to do their time before they ever saw my bed or me seeing theirs. They had to show me they were worth earning and I wanted them to have that same expectation. If you give it up right off the bat, you won't ever really know how you stack up until he is already running with another chick. He's probably not worth your time.

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  • Should add this disclaimer:

    What you see doesn't always indicate 'TRUTH'. Coming to conclusions on your own and determining everything from your viewpoint alone is not the best way to deal with relationships.

    It is nice to have some semblance of control and power over how you decide, to protect yourself against manipulative people whom you never can understand or figure out, but that means the problems lies there rather than here.

    The better way to go about things is to really know the other person. What their dreams are, their aspirations, their passions etc. After that, everything else they say, do, or hint at you can conclude would always be an attempt to do those things.

    If you can't get to know them, that becomes the problem. If they can never be known, you don't have to look for these signs (because they can 'hide them al), you either figure them out, or leave.

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    • I'm not trying to accuse every guy or to generalize, I'm just trying to help younger girls become aware that there is a small group of guys out there that will try to take advantage of them.

    • I get your point.

      I believe most fortunate girls would've had some sort of input from their parents, friends, family, etc about these sort of things.

      However, after experiencing and thinking MANY things through, I realised that there's a lot of bullshit misinterpretation of things going on that leads to incredulous amounts of miscommunication.

      Different cultures have different viewpoints. Conflicting actions do not imply conflicting values. (Think something like silence vs talking in Asian vs Caucasian culture - both value RESPECT, but they go about it differently)

      When people start scrutinising every last action, how many steps they took, did they look in the eye, how did they sit? Did they face me or away? blah blah blah blah, how many times they chew, did they chew with their mouths open/closed? Does he face his knees to me when talking with his friends? No? DISRESPECT!!

      I think you understand, giving details of actions does not equate to knowing intent or beliefs.

  • Very interesting take. Are those in any order? My gut would say that #1 and #4 are the most obvious signs.

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    • There not in any particular order

    • There are probably a lot more, I just thought these were the most important ones

  • Why do you think we always want sex? When I'm with my girlfriend I don't jump on her or even ask about sexual relationships, I take notice to her like a boyfriend should. I'm not saying I don't think about sex because yes I'm a man I think about it. Doesn't mean I'm in a relationship for only sex, so don't just judge every guy, we are all very much different.

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    • Did you read the first couple of sentences? This article is about how to tell the difference between when a guy wants a serious relationship or nothing more then sex

  • Number 5 & 6 are the only facts that are true the rest is very off because if you keep doing 1 & 2 you come off as needy and clingy and number 3 is sort of right but isn't completely because she can easily look at him as just a free meal and number 4 why would you want to meet his friends anyway you're dating him not his friends the only way this is right is if you don't meet his parents that should raise suspicions not because you don't meet his friends

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    • Number 4 was aimed more at people who have been dating for a couple of months, not just a couple of weeks. Honestly I'd expect to have met at least one of his friends after a couple of months.

    • Show All
    • I guess its kinda hard to explain to someone who hasn't been in a similar situation. I don't mean guys need to be clingy or needy, I mean if every time he calls he wants to meet up immediately and never bothers to plan in advance it usually means he's not willing to put in much effort and he's probably playing you. I just think even if a guy doesn't want to seem clingy he will still try to plan something with you if he's really into you.

    • Lol love the hate

What Girls Said 33

  • I searched for this sort of articles for hours, several years ago.

    And as true as they can be, I learned something in the past few years. If you find yourself searching for articles like this one, the guy you like isn't worth you time.

    I believe that when a guy wants to commit, he won't make you doubt it for a minute. And you won't be needing articles to understand it. :)

    But GREAT one. This really sums it up.

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  • My last relationship, he only wanted sex but I didn't realize until my best friend told me after we had sex. He called me last minute, asked me out and if I wanted to come over, we only did an hour and it was just sex. Then after that we hardly had any contact. When we did it was at night. Then after about 6 days of 'dating' I sent him a message saying I wanted to break up with him with no details, blocked him and nothing. But now Im pregnant and I don't think I'll ever tell him. Sorry. Just giving my experience

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  • This is so true. I've been with so many guys that ticked every box. Sometimes I knew and just stopped seeing him. Sometimes they were a little more persuasive and I got hurt.
    My current boyfriend loves me for me.
    He calls every two hours or so and wants to go out. He even dumps his friends for me.
    He ALWAYS pays. He gets offended if I even mention putting in a bit of cash.
    I met all his friends in the beginning.
    He loves sex, but only talks about it as much as any other guy. We talk about other stuff most of the time.
    At first, he was too worried to compliment my looks beyond, "I love your eyes." I thought he only wanted me for my personality and that hurt me. I spoke to him about it, and he told me he didn't want me to think he only wanted me for sex, so he never really mentioned it. LOL
    Girls, find a guy like mine, and you will never feel anything less than his second half.

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    • Aww he sounds so sweet, you've found a really special guy

    • Hang onto him!

    • Thank you! :) I have my claws in deep and I'm not letting go. LOL

  • This is spot on. A guy was trying to make me his side chick this weekend, I basically told him to f off. He's a little b*** anyways (who destroys their roommate's art in a fist fight? He did cause he's a little b***)

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  • Yep those are good indicators that he only wants you for one thing or that he's an immature Dick.

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  • Actually... some players DO wine and dine you to get layed, they buy you gifts too... i've been there myself but didn't fall for it as i already figured out players before hand. They are also insistent on reeling you in and constantly hound you, the smarter ones might come back then ignore you and keep doing that... but they STILL insist on coming back lol. That is the biggest giveaway when you said NO lol WHY DO YOU HOUND ME? oh... yeh... obviously you want in my pants.

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  • those points are so damn true!

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  • good... good... good... good...

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  • This was good. #5 & #6 are the most obvious signs in my opinion. I've met guys friends before and he has paid for dates but all he wanted was sex. But thats just based on my experience. Hopefully this article will help a girl or two out there to wise up before she gets played.

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  • Oh yeah most of these are signs of a guys just wanting sex. Not all are solid and for sure for just wanting sex. He could think of you as a one night stand, hit it and quit it, friends with benefits, fk buddy or booty call. I have mo desire in being that, if I find out I am, let me tell you I have mo chill. I will find the nicest ways to make them pay. Kill them with kindness. Girls don't be played by their game.

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    • It's more a combination of these things that make it up. There are definitely more signs, I just thought these were the main ones, but that's only my opinion

    • True true

  • As women, sometimes we have to be more straightforward if we expect guys to be. I tell them up front what I am looking for. I don't sleep with anyone unless I am okay with them never talking to me again. Avoided lots of disasters by just telling men up front that I'm not looking for sex.

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  • Very interesting article... However, as a few people have pointed out already, if you're finding yourself searching for articles like these, then he probably isn't worth your time.

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  • I love the picture, I think it was a good take everyone had their different opinions on whether these were accurate or not, but I think you did great 😊😊

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  • It has taken a while but I have learned how to spot a player. Seems like a lot of guys are co-dependent. The good guys will do what they can to hang out with you, not at night or going out for drinks. I've made all my guy meetings during the day. less of a chance they will try to get me into bed or them to be intoxicated. I want to get to know someone in a sober state of mind, not a guy with liquid courage.

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  • It sure sounds like he only wants you for one thing. All these points are good indicators. He sounds like an immature asshole.

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  • thank you!

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  • He just Wants sex...

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  • Thought it was good. 👍

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  • Yes. Yes he does.

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  • well you described every guy i was with lmao..

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