Why is preferring your own race considered racist?

Some people I know called me racist recently cause I only like to date white guys and it really pissed me off so I'm going to talk about this openly.

I'm white and I prefer my own race. I can't help who I'm attracted to, other races don't do it for me cause I have nothing in common with them. with a white guy it's easier cause I'm also white, there's a more natural connection and similar background. I also want to marry a white guy, and I want my future children to be white and look like me. I don't think there's anything wrong with that it's my preference, I'm not being racist. Most people prefer their own race so are they racist too?

Seriously what is wrong with society that they always have to throw around the R word? It's not wrong to date within your own race. and yet I'm being treated like it's a crime. why is preferring your own race considered racist?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well some people only want to date their own race because they're racist.

    Some people have a preference for one race and its just 'what they're attracted to'. That's quite possibly not racism. I don't personally have strong feelings about skin color, but I have strong feelings about -hair- color, and presumeably I don't have some racial hatred driving a preference for brunettes.

    That said, it raises eyes when people say things like 'I'm not attracted to anyone from race X'. Really? I suppose it's possible, and without any racist aspect, but THAT surprises me. As I said, I have a -strong- brunette bias, but are there blonde's I'm attracted to? Definitely.

    There's also the fact your answer mixes a few things - cultural compatibility for example- that wouldn't universally hold. I know one black guy for instance who was adopted as an infant and raised in a white family. His background would match any white girls.

    So it's not that unusual for someone to have a preference, or to commonly enjoy dating people with similar backgrounds, but those seem to explain more a 'unlikely to date outside of race' then 'won't'.

    Also, it's a bit of a shame when any of us just fall for 'similar background'. On an individual basis, that may not be what you or I would call racism, but it creates an unfortunate on a societal level if everyone just tries to stick to what's comfortable.

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    • 3mo

      I can't believe this stupid issue has not been put to bed yet. Yes, discriminating based on race makes you racist, but so what? It doesn't matter. Racism is not inherently evil. In this case it is perfectly fine, just as it is perfectly fine to discriminate against who you date based on other criteria, like language, intellect, age, appearance, weight, wealth, height, etc. It should be a constitutional right of every person to be legally able to NOT date whoever they do not want to date without needing to explain or defend themselves; the reasons for the discrimination being irrelevant and no one's business. So instead of sheepishly attempting to refute the claim that exclusively dating within your own race is racist, rather proudly embrace the fact that it is racist and that racism is perfectly fine under certain conditions.
      Besides people who throw the racism accusation around are usually just trying to guilt-trip a white girl into sleeping with them.

What Guys Said 13

  • In a perfect world, we would be able treat each other equally regardless of how we perceive them sexually (this would mean we would treat them asexually).

    However, we don't live a perfect world. This means that, whether we like it or not, we are going to treat people differently because of what we deem attractive. People will label other people who only 'prefer one [or certain] race[s]' 'racist' because they will ultimately perceive them different just because of this.

    You may think that your 'preference' is ultimately just a 'preference' but it really isn't as you would now incorporate this idea to whoever you meet. This doesn't mean your 'racist' but to others, your preconceptions would mean negative to some.

    '...other races don't do it for me cause I have nothing in common with them.' That's really hard to believe by the way. Is really your whole idea of being common just similar skin colour? Surely white guys all around the would have different backgrounds, mannerisms and values to you.

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  • You're not racist, the peope who say you are are morons not worthy of your time, date who you want and everybody else can fuck off.

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  • Because some people are complete idiots, and a lot of people are bitter black/indian guys who have obsessions with white girls and get bitter if they can't have sex with them, haha. That, and minorities/liberals have learned that screaming "RACIST!" is their best shot at getting their way.

    Don't let the bastards grind you down, you're great.

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  • I always hated to bring up race since I'm black (people think I look Spanish) because they would always think I should only date a black girl or whatever.. of if she is not black they will be like why do you like her? Or Eww..

    Like the OP said the thing is I grew up in the burbs in LA so growing up in the early 90's my dad forbid me listening to rap doing any type of rap hand movements.. to this day I still don't care for rap.. So I can understand the OP saying how she can only relate to white people.. my classes were mostly white/Hispanic/black but with more white so I ended up bonding more with them.. I mean you sit me with a black girl that loves rap.. what the hell can I really talk about other then music? Because she WILL ask.. it's just going to be a awkward moment and LOTS of silence.

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  • People saying they won't date outside their 'so called race' (color of skin) exclude people BEFORE they even know who they are. Just because of ONE aspect of them, the color of their skin. IMHO that's indeed the racist mindset.

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  • Beacuse current western society is engineered for the "political correctness".

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    • I agree completely, and political correctness is more of a weapon than about being polite like it should be.

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    • Sure political correctness is wrong beacuse it favors foreigners rather than native population. For your information Im not a racist, and Im fine with foreigners as long as they don't try to change culture of the country they're in.

    • They overanalyse alot. Staying local ain't cool.

  • Don't listen to people's bullshit. Date who you want and disregard the over-sensitive idiots.

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  • It's not racist I'm a white man and I like white women watcha going to do sue me. I'm just not attracted to other races as much.

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  • You're not a racist for the way you feel. Preferences are preferences, it's your choice at the end of the day and all of your reasons are valid as far as I'm concerned.

    That said I am someone who will date outside of my race, because I have met a lot of fantastic non-white girls with fantastic figures and great personalities and with so many great women around, I couldn't just limit myself to my own race.

    Plus as someone who is very much into different cultures, it's always nice when you learn about cultures that are different to your own. It makes me feel more 'worldly'.

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    • 3mo

      Yes, it is racist. They believe their "preferences" are so deeply rooted, chemical, that they can't help it. I'd like to ask this person if they have met every single black person alive. If they have and they still don't find black people attractive (which they most definitely haven't). If you're willing to make your love conditional, that your skin has to have a certain pigmentation to it to ever have a chance, then you're racist.

  • they are just upset because they feel like they are entitled to be sought after by you.

    you are attracted to who you are attracted period

    don't feel bad if they want to call you a racist they can find a reason to call anyone in the world one

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  • Its stupid! Its like saying someone is sexist because they aren't attracted to men... You can't help who you find attractive!

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  • yea i agree with yaddayaddayadda02. date who you want and dont listen to other people

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  • It's not racist. It's just a preference. There is a difference

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What Girls Said 10

  • I feel the same way and im gonna take this 1 step further: I don't understand how people DONT prefer their race? how could you purposefully go out of your way to make children who look nothing like you and live in a culture that doesn't fully accept you? I don't get people like that

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  • I don't know i dont think it is…
    people just want to be preferred, so when they know they're not, it upsets them. kinda like being chosen last on a team.
    u can c where they come from, but its not a matter of despising different people, its just a matter of preference.

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  • I don't think it's racist, and I would date outside of my race. There are some races, however, that I'm just not attracted to. It happens. White guys are your type, not racist.

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  • Date whoever you want to date. You need to realize that people will always say negative things regardless of what choices you make. It's your life, do whatever makes you happy.

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  • You can date who you want, but I'm skeptical of people who think that only someone of their own race could possibly have anything in common with them. And your kid would still look like you regardless of the person you made them with...they'd just look like them too.

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  • Like what you like and ignore. White guys are a dying breed because they are being cornered by other beautiful attractive women who aren't white.

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    • this is Racist. watch your words lady. the computer you are typing in and the internet you are using to "express" yourself is made by white men. this "dying breed" made at least 95% of things you are using to go through your "modern life". watch your words.

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    • You insulted a race, "my race", do you even understand it? and I'm not gonna argue more, i'm not here to argue or fight. i just told it from the first place so you know what you said was not right. insisting on your wrong deed just shows your ignorance. that's it and done.

    • You're being silly. Get over it.

  • Because of the multicultural propaganda and idiocy of the masses. don't think about what masses believe and say, do what is "right".

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  • i also wonder why pple are always throwing the R word around. it is your preference i still dont understand, this is ur comfort level and henceforth u chose to date within your own race.

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  • Because everything has to be politically correct now. But honestly, I don't think that's racist at all. Date whomever you want. I also prefer to date my own race, it's human nature. You prefer those similar to you. Don't let dull comments get to you, the R card is pulled a lot, just ignore it and continue to do what you do. There's nothing wrong in it.

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