My friend's girlfriend is jealous of me - how should I confront this?

One of my best friends has just started dating a new woman. He was with his ex for over ten years, and has just signed the divorce papers. The had been separated for two years, so he's not jumped in to a new relationship, but his new girlfriend living in a different city has prevented them from getting to know each other as well as they could have otherwise, although she is a flight attendant and visits regularly. My friend and I are close - the kind of friends who will be there for life, so I am not concerned about this girl threatening our friendship. However, she is making things unpleasant and stressful for him. She says she does not like me and does not trust me around her boyfriend (my friend) - she "knows what woman like me are like". I am baffled by her stereotyping me as a harlot as I am mild-mannered, well behaved, dress conservatively and am in a serious long-term relationship where I am the stepmother to two gorgeous little boys. I mention these superficial facts because she has never met me - and refuses to do so. Everything she thinks she knows about me has been gleaned from my Facebook profile.
Is there anything I can do to make her meet me and realize that I pose no threat? Is there any advice I can pass on to my friend, who is distraught over this? He deserves to be happy in his new relationship, not feel pressured and torn as he has for so many years in his last marriage. Please help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is tough...On one hand you want your friend to be happy at all cost on the other you don't want to lose him. First are you absolutely sure you don't have feeling for him that may run deeper than just friends? If you do..you have to lay your cards on the table... I have a female for a best friend and she's been my best friend 30 plus years..but we are simply that FRIENDS..once we almost did something in our teens and I stopped...back then I screwed everything with a pulse and knew had we crossed the line it would wreck are friendship...I lost my mom on Easter this year and she was with me and my family... I live 400iles from her now but talk every day...she stops by and checks on my dad...that what friends do...However I have never been physically attracted to her and that's been the key...Have you ever...even once fooled around with him..The reason I ask is because people have a6th sense when it comes to this...If you truly want to clear the air..call her and say Listen we need have a heart to heart...We both love the same guy but in two TOTALLY separate ways...tell her that you love him the same way you love your brother at different from the way she feels because she's IN LOVE with him...and you know she can understand because he wouldn't be in love with anyone that wasn't a truly wonderful person...if that don't just be direct and say...why are you worried , if I wanted him I would have had him a long time ago...

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'd tell your friend that you think his relationship is a mistake and he can do better. Don't stop being friends over it but tell him you think someone he's going to be with shouldn't make him choose between friends and relationships

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    • This is what I think I am leaning towards. He deserves to be in a relationship that is pleasant and easy, not where he is emotionally manipulated! I think it's a sign of bigger problems ahead with this girl. Thanks for your advice.

  • Tell her what she said but don't lose any sleep over it. It's not your problem. Like you said your friendship is secure and you have your own family to worry about.

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  • It's her being jealous and not trusting him. Don't worry too much about it. If anything, just be really nice to her.

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