I should have asked her out, and now it's killing me that I didn't. What do I do?

There is a girl that I know, long story short months ago I wanted to ask her out (she liked me too at the time) but I didn't because some other people talked me out of it. I was really close to those people at the time and thought they were good friends so I trusted that they were really trying to look out for me and I listened, turns out they weren't.

So now, months later me and this girl are still really good friends but I regret so much not asking her out, because the longer we've been friends the more I realize how amazing she is. And now she's moved on is dating someone else, and on top of that we are both leaving to go to college on opposite sides of the country in just a few weeks. It kills me thinking of what could have been, especially because I know there was mutual feelings and I let others talk me out of making a move even though I wanted to. Obviously it's too late for us now, and I missed my chance but the choice I made kills me, how do I move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't regret a lot of things, but 18 years later I still regret not asking a girl out in a slightly similar situation. I think a part of me will always wonder what could have been, but in the big scheme of things it really wasn't long before it was no longer a present thought.

    There are other girls, wonderful girls, that you will meet during your life. Some of them you may not have even gotten to know had you been with this other girl. At the same time I whiffed on the opportunity to ask this girl out, I was developing a friendship and would eventually fall in love with a girl I was prepared to ask to marry me some years later. You can't really ever know how it all would have played out, or what the future will have in store for you, so it's not something to beat yourself up over.

    I find that simply writing about something often helps me come to terms with my feelings and get some closure. Maybe it's a letter to her that you will stick in a memory box or a blog entry. Then you go out and keep living your life. Learn from your missteps instead of letting them bog you down. The person ultimately responsible for your own happiness is not your wife or girlfriend or a girl you wanted to ask out but didn't or your boss or the members of your local professional football team. It's you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It will be hard at first because clearly she is an important part of your life. But it is for the best if you move on. If you truly like her than let her be happy even if it means its not with you. To get closure you should admit how you feel and just move on and enjoy college. She might seem amazing but sooner or later you will meet someone better. The one.

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  • You have to move on. And the first step is cutting off contact and trying to keep yourself busy. :/

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What Guys Said 3

  • Dude just wait until you get to college!!! She will be but a distant memory. You will meet all sorts of new girls and have new experiences. You will probably forget all about her in reality. If you don't, maybe you'll run into her next summer. Whatever you do, I wouldn't tell her at this point. She can't do anything now, and you could ruin that moment where you first let it out. I'd sit on it and see what happens.

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  • Just one thing I'd like to say - There are plenty of fish in the sea. If not her, then someone else. But just make sure once you find a girl you're compatible with, be faithful to her.

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  • Well #1 no such thing as missing your chance if you want to go for it. #2 time. You just gotta wait it out man. Like all things in life it'll eventually go away

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    • I did miss my chance, it's not like I could ask her out now. 1. She's dating someone else 2. She's obviously moved on from me anyway 3. Even if one and two weren't true we both leave in two weeks

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    • Yeah it's time to move on then. The biggest thing to remember though is not to make this bigger than what it actually is. You're still young and there are people on this planet that are literally 4 times as old as you. If you go talk to them they'll tell you you'll get over this quicker than you think. Trust them you will. We tend to think things like this are some big catastrophe when really it's more like one little fly at a picnic that comes in and leave faster than you'd think.

    • I hope you're right, it's a tough pill to swallow right now

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