She's ignoring me, how long should I wait before I go to her house and confront her face to face?

[mister_nice_guy]

I'm 20 and she's 22. we've been talking and hanging out regularly for the past 9 weeks and we've become rather close. We're both really open with each other, especially about our feeling for each other. We do everything like we would be in a relationship but we just don't have the title of one cause we're taking things slow. In the past week she's been rather distant has left me hanging high and dry with lack of contact, I've tried to make plans to hang out 3 or 4 times, I'll ask her if she's doing anything or if she has any plans and she'll tell me something like "I don't know I think I might be doing something with my mom, want me to call you when I figure it out?" or she'll be out swimming and I'll ask if she like to hang out when she's done swimming and she'll say "yeah, want me to call you when I'm done?" and my response's are "yeah I'd love that" and she doesn't call me back. And know its at the point where she doesn't reply to any of my calls or texts. I've become rather worried about her lately because this isn't like her by any means. A couple days ago I wrote her a letter displaying my concerns for her health and how I wish she would reply to my messages. (I'm concerned for her health because 2 weeks ago she told me she could tell that she's starting to get depressed because she been spending a lot of time just laying in bed instead of being socially active.) I left the letter with her father and asked him to be sure that she gets in when she returns and he said he would make sure she got it. As was driving home(it's a 45 min. Drive) she called me when I was about 10 min from my house and I had trouble getting the phone out of my pocket, by the time I answered it had gone to voicemail. I tried calling back but she just picked up and hung up on me without a word. We had made plans to go to a slightly stoopid, cypress hill and collie buddz concert a couple weeks ago and I bought the tickets for the show and picked up a copy of the pitch(she likes the pitch because of all the concert listings in it) yesterday, I tried calling her once more and again no answer so I decided I would go by her house since I was already in the area and leave the tickets and the pitch in her mail box and sent a text as follows "idk what's going on in your life but whatever it is I hope it works out for the best. I left you the tickets and a copy of the pitch in your mail box what you do with them is entirely up to you. I'm taking your silence as a sign that you don't want me around, I won't bother you anymore." now I feel although I have made a mistake by doing what I did and I want to speak with her face to face to figure out what's going on cause her silence is killing me and I'm really worried about her. I know she has feelings for me and I think she's scared that I might break her heart and that's why she's avoiding me. Any ideas on what I should do or how long I should wait before going to her house to try and talk face to face? Thanks for your time and your help in advance

Updates

+1 y

so it's been two weeks since I've had any real contact with her and I'm really at a loss of ideas of what to do. this girl means the world to me and I can't allow myself to lose her as a friend. any ideas?

Updates

+1 y

i wanna thank every single one of you who has shared your input on the discussion! I would also like you all to know that she finally contacted me a couple days ago and we've worked everything out :)

[quote]

You need to see hr face to face to talk this one out.

All sorts of things may be going on. For a start, her parents may not be too happy about her relationship with you. She may have hormonal problems and PMT. She may feel she does not want to get into a serious relationship just at the moment.

By talking to her face to face you can ask her certain questions but do not try to interrogate her however frustrated you feel. Just talk and chat , maybe over a coffee in a cafe rather than in her home as it is less intense when in a public place.

Tell her straight away that you want to continue the relationship but, out of consideration for her, you will leave her alone if that is what she wants. You will get some answers and you can act accordingly but whatever you do, keep your voice quiet and chatty rather than anxious. You may find she is worried about the age gap. This is silly but many girls worry if they are older than their boyfriends. Maybe her parents have pointed out the age gap to her.

Anyway, my advice is to talk and see what happens.

[thetheme]

Never talk to this girl ever again even if she contacts you. Don't be her friend, move on to other girls. You were a nice guy, and she's not into you anymore. You practially chased her, and that sends a message saying that she can have you anytime she wants. Don't call, don't text, don't e-mail, and don't see her in person. If yopu bump into her, don't say a word and keep walking. DO NOT be friends with her at any cost! Find someone that will appreciate your worth.

[b33t1t]

Agreed.

[seraphimsummers]

As a woman I agree. she couldn't be any less interested. depression is no excuse as even then if she was into you you would be one of the few people she would till want to see. She has not treated YOU as a friend by blowing you off a friend would at least call. You will find someone nice (an well balanced ) in time, but till then its hard but you gotta cut hers loose!

[yellow1997]

Don't go to her house. You have already done all you can an then some! Leave it alone if she's into you then she'll contact you. Most ladies love to talk ESPECIALLY about feelings so if she's avoiding you then give her some space/time. Also sometimes "Mr. Nice guy" comes across as "Mr. No back bone." Make her come to you :)

[mister_nice_guy]

Thanks for your help :) but that leaves with one more question. my cell phone number will be changing in the next week or so, if she hasn't made contact by then should I send her a message just like I will everyone else simply stating my number has changed?

[yellow1997]

Yes text her as well

[gecko235]

Dont text her, she will find a way to contact you

[SCU2013]

agreed with yellow1997...youve done all you can do, I know its hard to let go but its for the best right now. she probably has a lot on her mind and needs to figure it out. porbably the most you should/can do is let her know your always there for her and leave it at that

[whats_that]

She just needs some time, maybe she's not ready to share her feelings with you.

That or shd just really lost interest. Anyway let her contact you. Youve already done all you can do.

[b33t1t]

You went above and beyond the call of duty for this girl and you're totally in the right. Cut her loose cause she sounds like she's pulled the immature card and left you hanging...

[noricat]

Word. She made her decision.

[kaleigh]

eaither to her your takeing it to fast or she is cheating on you I know this cause the exact thing happaned to me last week just move on don't go through that

[rg727]

Dont show up to her house. She lost interest.