I'm too ugly to be as picky and shallow as I am. How do I get over this?

I'm not a terrible person. I just unfortunately am super picky and shallow. The standards that I have for women are literally unreachable for someone like me. My self confidence really is piss poor. I don't think I'm that good looking. At least not enough to attract the women I like. There are PLENTY of women who have been into me, but I just am not attracted to them. I feel literally horrible for feeling how I do. I know there is more to a person than looks, obviously. But attraction to me is just as important. If I'm not sexually attracted to a girl, then there's no passion. Whats a healthy relationship without that? There have been 2 women throughout my life that were sexually into me, that were way out of my league. They started my pickyness. If they were into me, I couldn't settle for less than them. I dont know what to do. I dont want to be shallow. I dont want to be alone. But i really can't escape this. Its driving me crazy


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not ugly. And I don't see anything wrong with being picky. I'm also picky, but most people say that's good in a way. Because then it means you won't settle for less in life. Yes, it will take longer to find that special person, but I guess its just with time. I totally agree that looks aren't everything, but you need to be attracted to the person in order to have a proper relationship with them. If you aren't sexually attracted to them, then what's the use? So, don't stress about this picky and shallow thing. You just know what you like in a person and there's nothing wrong with that. Just give it time, you'll meet that special someone sooner or later.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Well hey, at least you are self-aware and know that your standards are really high. I don't necessarily think you should change your standards, but I do think you'd benefit a lot from broadening them.

    Learn to find things beyond the physical attractive -- personality yes, but also a girl’s mannerisms, overall aura, intelligence, etc. Don’t fixate so much on slight physical flaws. Give sweet, cute/unique-looking girls (who maybe and probably aren’t your ideal “10”) a chance. I think it’s important to really try get to know a girl before writing her off completely, because if you guys are compatible personality-wise you’ll likely end up finding her a lot more attractive.

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    • Ill keep that in mind. I do need to change things up a little.. thank you

  • dude you look really nice

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  • By realizing you're not ugly at all.

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  • Well, it's hard for me to give you advice because I don't know what you look like. You are saying that you are ugly but the chances are that you're probably not. You just have high standards, there isn't really anything wrong with that

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    • Yeah, I guess I needed to upload my profile picture. I forgot you could do that. I should rephrase "ugly". I'm not hideous, but in comparison to the women I'm into, they don't even give me a second look. Its frustrating

  • You dont look too bad dont worry. I feel the same, I only like guys who seem waaay out of my league physically. The only guy I actually like doesn't like me. Its sad. You move on though. Trust me, you can't control your attraction. The words picky and shallow are just stupid, they are just words meaning you are just attracted to people. Dont worry, you like what you like, don't try to punish yourself because of the way you are attracted to people.

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