How do you girls feel about being approached in public?

[Anonymous]

Girls, how do you feel about guys approaching you in public and what would they have to do to get your number

[Wade888]

All right Cassipia:

I'll bite one last time.

For whatever reason, God has chosen to make me this way.

If women like you can't get off your LAZY DISILLUSIONED ASS and go talk to quiet guys, then you DON'T DESERVE THEM, AND YOU SURE AS HELL DON'T DESERVE ME, AND THAT GOES FOR THE REST OF YOU TOO..

Why? Because you don't have a social anxiety disorder, but you more useless than people who do have it.

I told you what my problem was, and you mocked me too and blocked me for it.

God sees you little girl.

God sees you.

Do you want to know me?

I don't mind knwing you, but you don't talk. I told you what your problem is based on what you said.

I've seen it my whole life,.

I've seen women marry the wrong guy, get divorced, back on the forum or dating site 2 years later, and DIDN'T LEARN A THING and go for bad guys again.

When you were 4 years old I was going to college and working for my high school drop-out dad on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

It's harder to approach in public because daytime tends to be much slower, and will be harder for a guy to approach. In night time it's easier, because there's more energy and it's fast paced in places like clubs but I would say day time in public should be respected by girls simply because it's a lot harder for single guys to meet girls in public especially in this day and age.

[emmabee11]

I usually don't like it... especially when it's on a busy road... it's really creepy... especially when a guy asks me to go to his dorm room near the college.. . lol (been there), I don't give guys my number right away ether because they could be a weirdo... i've given guys my number before in public and well... it didn't turn out great... they just kept texting me and phoning several times a day... so i don't do it... If a guy wants my number he has to get to know me first, usually i get weird black guys in public hitting on me though... lol, usually much older than me... so i just don't... you have to be careful.

[OhPaige]

I really like it. Nice confidence boost esp on a bad day. I remember I was out of town by myself one time. I went into a store to get something & felt a guy stating at me next in line. I paid & stopped to look at something on the way out. He RAN to where I was after he paid & said he just couldn't hold it in & had to tell me I was gorgeous & that my man is very lucky. I told him I didn't have one & he instantly asked for my number. I declined with a simple I'm not from here. It's just a really nice feeling guys! Haha

[Anonymous]

I like being approached if it's a nice guy. Things I always dislike is when guys are saying things like 'you look angry' or 'smile', just to get attention. Also don't be too direct about the looks of a girl, just start a nice conversation, if the conversation flows well and I like the guy I would give my number after talking for a while.

Could you answer my question?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1341187-when-a-guy-strokes-pats-your-head-when-he-sees-you-is-that-flirty

[xcassiopeia]

I don't mind being approached, if it's a nice guy. At least he's making an effort to show he cares enough to approach and get to know you, instead of just awkwardly stare at the girl.

By the way, don't just stare at the girl from afar. A lot of girls get confused by this, seriously haha

[Wade888]

Guys who awkwardly stare at girls ARE the nice ones.

They never get accepted because h tey have social anxiety which is a clinical disease treated by medication, but social counseling and medicine do not magically make a guy get dating skills, and women reject that person for the rest of his life anyway. I should know.

God gave you a mouth and feet too. Go use them for once, and quit blaming everything on the guy.

He's awkward because he's afraid he's going to accidentally offend you, and then you get offended because trying inside himself with all his being to overcome a chemical imbalance that he was born with that isn't his fault.

The ones who are confident tend to be the jerks and the bullies who beat up kids at recess in Jr. High and High school, and do drugs and spend most of their time in a drunken stupor on the weekend at college age and employment age. You love them to talk to you.

[Wade888]

And it really isn't even fear.
Even with two types of anxiety medicine I cannot overcome it in person.
It's like a physical wall preventing me from even trying to make the first move, no matter how much I pray or rationalize it or encourage myself. I can want to talk to the girl with every fiber of my being, but if she doesn't make the first move or speak to me first it flat out isn't going to happen. Even if she did talk to me, I'd have to know her for months before I'd be comfortable around her enough to ask for a date.

now you now.

The one you don't want is the best one in the room honey.

Get over it and go talk to him.

[Wade888]

You are fed a lie in romance movies and romance novels that women want, and no such man exists, not even the best case example. Maybe a millionaire can be that because he has enough money to do nothing but work on himself, or more likely gains experience since women wants his wallet.

Real guys? not so much.

Romantic comedies?

People with depression or social anxiety cannot be medicated or coached out of it over the week end and turned into a super star. It's a fantasy, and a destructive one at that. It makes women expect something of men which simply does not exist in the real universe... and you hold it against men for failing to live up to it.

You know what? Even Jesus Christ did not live up to what women actually expect from a man. He'd laugh at you women.

[Wade888]

Quiet guys like social girls because they need a social girl to help them out, but social girls despise quite guys.

Opposites attract... but for some reason it only works one way in this case.

Are women that clueless? You're the ones who use the phrase "opposites attract" and you don't realize that the quiet guy loves you to death, and the other guy just wants down your pants?

Who teaches women anything in this country?

You're all clueless, and I'm not singling you out, and don't take this as dumping on you. I'm just informing you that the mentality you're displaying here is literally rigged against the good guys... and it's rigged against yourself because you keep automatically rejecting the one you need, and falling for the wrong one.

I've tried churches an dating sites, etc. Coaching yourself doesn't help, having friends help you doesn't help. A guy like me needs the girl to make the first move in some way, for some reason I can't understand. That's just how it is.

[Wade888]

Try harder, pray more, go to support groups,, etc, etc.

How? I've tried all that for longer than you've been alive, and even with the medications it's still impossible. I mean I'm not as withdrawn as before, but I don't have any ability to hold an in-person conversation with a woman as far as dating or flirting skills or anything like that... and it's the women's fault in a lot of ways, because they rejected me continually for my entire life, which not only didn't help, but made things ten times worse than they might have been.

Nobody wants a 34 years old virgin, least of all one that's never even had a first date.

Guess what? I didn't choose that. I mean I was always pure minded, but women rejected me over and over my entire life and left me like this.

So you can imagine it really stings to always read comments by immature women on web sites saying things like this.

What do you gain by refusing to make the first move to a guy who obviously is interested in you and needs a touch?

[Wade888]

You didn't know that?

What about you 34 years olds? You didn't know that either?

God Help me. My entire life has been spent waiting on a woman to grow a brain, and a heart for God's sake, and it looks like none of them have yet.

Am I supposed to thank women in general for treating me that way?

Forgive you? I have forgiven, and again and again... until I am empty because I have given everything I have and more.

Do a "nice guy" a favor and teach your clueless girlfriends something will ya?

If you don't give a damn about me, do it for someone else.

[Wade888]

If you saw a dog sitting on the side of the curb, you probably walk over and pet it.

So why are women adamant about not making the first move for a quiet guy?

There's no rational reason. There's no reason based on love either.

Golden Rule:
"Love your neighbor as yourself, do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

You can't even follow that regarding greeting someone or introducing yourself, because that guy is shy or has social anxiety?

How the heck is he supposed to magically heal himself or come otu of that?

I've been that way my whole life. In fact, most of the speaking I do is actually more or less a defense mechanism, because at some point you can't help but try, so you talk about the things that interest you, which tend to be miles over everyone's head, and you don't realize it, and that turns them off too.

Try not to do that? I refer you to the section where women say to be yourself. I like science, technology, biology, physics, math.

[Wade888]

Women don't want "myself" because women don't want to learn anything, least of all science or math related. More and more women quit learning that, and the few women who do it have to make programs to try to promote it to increasingly uneducated women, because there are no women in STEM jobs.

Put on a Soap Opera or anything else at the 75-80 iq level, and every woman in the room is hypnotized.

I can watch that, but guess? I saw enough of that when I was a kid staying over for summer at my grandmothers. I don't need to watch that anymore. You can predict the next scene and who's having and affair with who before it even happens.

What do you get out of that when all the men in the shows are the opposite of what you say you want? They sleep around, they backstab, their drunks an thieves and so are the women... my god, gotta catch the next episode..

Understand?

Learn something.

I already learned all that and the 20-30 years olds don't want me and the 30-40 years olds don't either.

[xcassiopeia]

Hey hey dude, that could be every interesting, but I'm not gonna read your whole "story".

Calm down, ok? First, you misread my comment & that's not how I think. Read the damn quo. Guys who only stare are the nice guys? Go up to them and speak because you've got a mouth? Learn something? Fascinating. Very. Fascinating. So you're mad at us? I can see the bitterness. Mad at women? Good. Let me tell you something: I ALWAYS made an effort and tried to talk to guys. Guess what happened? The whole school laughed at me. Thet called me a whore, ONLY because I approached a guy. Why? I don't know bro, I was just being friendly, but that's life and YOU should get over it.

What the hell is this about anyway? Are you that angry? Dude, I'm not your age, but I know enough already. You wouldn't talk like that if you knew me. People have issues and you too, probably. If you're trying to teach me something, you should first think about HOW you say it. Learn how to fckin speak. Like I even know you.

[Asker]

I'm not reading that bullshit story friend

[Wade888]

First Thing: I told you I wasn't attacking you personally. I am sorry that I come across as angry.

On your other point, great honey? if they think you're a slut... that's your problem? You think you have a problem? Someone called you a slut so that made you quit approaching men?

lol @ you.

Do you have any idea how dumb you are?

You let peer pressure screw you over?

Here I thought you had a problem.

I'd date you, even if you actually were a slut. What difference does it make? the non-sluts never wanted me, so if you aren't slut that would be first even if it was, and if you are slut hey you've got practice. Let's go...

They called you a slut. That made you feel bad.

How do you think I felt when five women falsely accused me to the police of sex crimes and 15 others in the room didn't take my side, and they were the ones harassing me?

Then the Dean kicked me out of the school, and I did no wrong

Baby.

Seriously.

Baby.

You aren't a slut, but you sure as hell need to grow up.

[Wade888]

And that wasn't the first time I've been sexually harassed and falsely acused by women, and it wasn't the last time.

Everyone in the room lied against me, every last one of them. Even the one that initially took my side turned on me 2 days later.

Chrisitans. Catholics Baptists.

They intentionally tried to ruin my name, and they succeeded, and when I tried to sue them and the dean, 4 different lawyers turned down the case.

You gave up because someone called you a slut?

Tell them off and go about your business. For get them. They're idiots who don't even know what the word "slut" means.

You got that?

Don't be dumb. Forget them.

Do what you want to do, but don't leave the guy you think you might like hanging just because some bitches called you names (or bastards whichever the word matches)...

You're better than that, and I'm better than that.

Don't be dumb.

[Asker]

Right dickhead, get off my post and leave the girl alone. 5 girls accused you of sex crimes? 5 DIFFERENT GIRLS. That's a big number and so you obviously did something wrong. Stop harassing girls online because you've not get the balls to say anything to someone's face. You sound like you're a complete creepy human being and I bet you don't beliveve for a second you've done anything wrong but you definitely have and you really need to reassess your fucking life

[Wade888]

he word "slut" made you quit?

Why?

Don't accept it.

I have a metabolic illness that is destroying my nervous system causing level 10 pain, which I have to be heavily medicated with Neurontin nerve pain medicine ~$500 per month.

I went for 10 years before they figured out what the pain was and gave me the medicine, and they still don't know what causes it, and I never let that pain stop me from at least trying...

and you gave up because someone called you a bad name?

And you tell me to learn something?

Honey I don't wish the hell I've been through on my enemies. Not even a terrorist deserves to suffer the hell I've been through, and I certainly hope to God you live a long life and die in peace without ever suffering 1/100th of this.

And no, people don't reject me because of the illness, they reject me because of my profile...

"Hello ladies, I'm wade, etc, I like games, xmovies, ybooks, walking sports, whatever. I'm a decent guy I'm a christi..."
Goodbye, get lost, fuckoff.

[Wade888]

I don't know if this link will work, or if we're even allowed to post links, but here:

Go join OkCupid and search "Wade7576" and tell me what's so wrong about my profile that not one positive response ever?

I am long-winded, but women complain about men who write short profiles, and they complain about long profiles and medium profiles too, so I don't care. If you care enough about somebody to read what they wrote, then maybe you'd care about me. If you don't care enough to read a few paragraphs, you won't care about the real person either.

and yeah, I've literally tried everything from 3 words to 3 sentences, 3 paragraphs, and 3 pages, and 3 chapters. Nothing works... anywhere, any time.

Point being, you're wrong honey about Learning anything.

I do what they say to do, and nobody wants it.

I ask women for help and they mock me.

To see you give up because a few people called you a slut?

That's insulting to my intelligence and integrity. I've been called worse for less.

[xcassiopeia]

Woah so smart, so you know I HAVEN'T stopped approaching guys? DON'T TALK LIKE YOU KNOW PEOPLE.

You've got issues, seriously. Are you even 35 years old? Hah. Don't make me laugh, asshole.

And when did I say slut? LOL. Get off this website, you're a shame. Freaking glad not every guy's like you. You don't even deserve to be called a human being NOR A MAN.

Look at the asker of this post, much younger than you are but mature enough to stand up for what's right, SO WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME I'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN?

[Asker]

I've blocked him now so hopefully he can't respond anymore. Thank you your opinion though :)

[xcassiopeia]

No problem and thank you for helping me out too, by the way. :')

[Asker]

No problem :) the mans obviously not quite right

[xcassiopeia]

No, he's not.. I was like: whut. Wait, did I something I shouldn't have done?

I really explode into anger when someone's like: I am older, so I have the right to behave like that.

No, it's not about age, trust me.. Anyway, good experience though haha xD

Were you about to approach a girl, by the way?

[neeneeluv22]

My experiences with being approached by a man in public usually ends badly. I'm always approached by men who are on drugs, old (50 and above), or homeless (I have nothing against homeless people but they're usually on drugs). I don't dress provocatively and I usually keep to myself. If anything, I'm terrified about being approached in public, they usually want me to go home with me. So if I'm approached by a man in public, most of the time I would want to run away. So for a man to get my number hopefully he should nice and decent and share the same interest as me.

[Claair]

I hate being approached on the streets. Even if it was the hottest guy in the world, I would think of him as a creep and walk away really quickly. It's not something personal, but it's for my own safety. In my country we see everyday news of young girls raped and mudered in the most horrible ways.

[Maerinaekaeri]

I wouldn't love it but I also wouldn't really care that much. I'm very cautious so if anyone wanted to get my # they would have to talk with me for a while first. I'm not just going to hand out my # to a random stranger that I don't know at all. plus the person would have to be around my age and be able to keep a conversation with me without a bunch of awkward pauses or bringing up anything that would make me feel creped out or annoyed.

[stillyoungandinsane]

if you are really relaxed and comfortable about it that REALLY helps because trust me, she is probably just as surprised that someone is approaching her as you are scared/nervous to go up to her. if you subtly flirt, not go up to her directly say "i think you're pretty/hot/gorgeous/ etc." then she'll know you mean it, maybe just introduce yourself and compliment her clothing, hair, or smile/eyes, but you have to mean it, or at least sound like you do. i also don't think a girl is going to give a stranger her number, so start a conversation, talk about the party/concert/wherever you are at, who invited you, maybe you'll have a mutual friend.

[Snoopy88]

I think its an age thing too. As I've gotten older I'm more relaxed about being approached in public. It's flattering! And I'm better at gently saying no thanks without being a bitch about it. Girls need to realise that it takes courage to approach someone and as long as they aren't being lecherous at least be kind. Guys be friendly not creepy. Start a conversation about any subject under the sun. You will soon know if you're going to get anywhere and more importantly if she's worth the effort.

[QuiteCurious]

I find it impressive that the guy has the courage to come up to me but my reactions are not always the best since I tend to be awkward at times. For example, a guy walked up to me at a bus stop and told me I was beautiful, i didn't know what to do so I walked away.. I sure regret that and wish I at least said thank you :$

[Orchidfur]

I think its sweet if it is an honest gesture, not something he was put up to by his best friends. You always hear of the perfect love stories of how they met at the grocery store or a book store so of course a girl is going to be happy if a cute funny guy comes up to her and starts talking. Girls love attention.

[LegendaryKioshi]

Honestly, I don't like it for safety reasons. I grew up in a city that turned ghetto so I moved away. I think it's becoming a more and more dangerous world for women, so women in general are less trusting of public situations, even if the guy is genuine and is a nice person.

[blondieblue]

I LOVE being approached openly and non awkwardly by guys and by the way if you have enough confidence to make the first move that automatically makes you 10x hotter !! To get her number just try and strike up a conversation for a little bit before you ask for her number or else you might seem a little too fast

[demonology]

i don't know. getting approached depends on the quality of the person approaching.

but i do often approach in public, myself.

i think the difference is that im a type of "stuck up", i think you are not worth my time, unless i pick you specifically out of a crowd.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, same. If a guy keeps a respectful distance (no touching, we hate that!) and asks politely to go out for a coffee/dinner/the like (without pressure) I'm more likely to give him my number. As an example, I was once stopped by a stranger who politely asked me for directions, and before leaving he asked if I would join him for coffee sometime as a thank-you. Gave him my number.

[Anonymous]

1. never will I give attention to anyone close to anonymous
2. he would ask me to dance and insure I was having a good time
3. he would then provide me a refreshment and intelligent conversation
4. more dancing
5. suggest we have better refreshments & conversation at a comfortable, quiet tavern or better, when I feel fully protected/safe
6. THEN he would ask me out - future dinner dancing conversation date, needing my phone number

[Anonymous]

Usually if I get approached in public, I get "hollered at" and it makes me uncomfortable. So I'm always hesitant when a guy starts talking to me trying to pick me up, I would only give out my number of he could actually hold an intelligent conversation and I would like to continue it! But if you say some bullshit like "let me get yo numba, shawty" then I'm running in the other direction haha

[Anonymous]

Just don't open with a comment on her looks. That just makes me think 'great, this guy only wants to talk to me because he thought I was attractive enough'
Start with a normal comment about whatever situation you're in, what she's doing, what you're doing, start with a question about anything.
Normal non-creepy stuff.

[Anonymous]

Approaching in public is fine. He'd have to be someone I was attracted to and who seemed interested in me - asked me questions about myself - then if he asked for my number that would be ok. However, often this has happened and the guy never calls... Oh well...

[Wade888]

I'm sorry to you. That got posted in the wrong place.

It's meant for Cassiopia, but she can't hear it anyway.

[Loveladyx]

I would find it really flattering and so sweet if a guy approached me and spoke to me in public but I also get cringes so easily, so they only way I wouldn't brush a guy off is if he was polite and well mannered and doesn't look like a hobo, I've had men approach me before and I also suggest that your not full on otherwise she might feel threatened

[Lena19]

Personally I don't like a guy to approach me in public. It's just really creepy to me. I will accept their number, but that does not mean I will call them.

[Entrieton]

@Lena19 How and where are you going to meet a guy then?

[Lena19]

@Entrieton I already have a boyfriend and we were friends before we even decided to start dating. We met each other at school and through friends. It's still possible to get in a relationship that you know instead of some stranger that approaches you and asks you for your number.
If you don't know them personally, don't trust them.

[simplyme13]

I like being approached but in a gentle way. Screaming out," aye girl in the red shirt" or "damn you fine" is not going to make me want to talk to you. Its weird. A simple," hey" would do.

[Anonymous]

I love when men are confident and straightforward. It's like a turn on for me. I think any man should approach any woman they're interested in because it might be your only chance and you shouldn't waste it. As long as you're kind and funny, you should be all good. You can end the conversation telling her how you wouldn't mind seeing her again, and ask for her number there. You'll almost always get it in the end. Hope this helped you. :)