Men who say they won't date feminists: why do you think we care?

If you don't believe in my worth as a human beyond my vagina or ability to bear children or make you sandwiches, why would I want to date you? Like, what exactly do you think you have to offer if you don't see me as a human being?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some are acting like kids throwing their toys out of the pram and trying to make a loud enough noise to attract attention in the vain hope it will change things.

    Some know you wouldn't date them anyway and are trying to pull a "You can't fire me, I quit!" maneuver. lol

    Personally, I wouldn't care if she was a feminist. I might prefer it, I might not. You can't really decide based on something like that in my opinion. On my list of requirements and desirable qualities in a woman, the issue of feminism is never anywhere to be seen which is odd when you consider that I've gotten stick from some guys here for saying I'm a feminist.

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    • Thank you for your opinion. Very enlightened. I enjoyed reading it.

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    • Lol
      I believe you. :)

      You're welcome and thank you for the compliment. :)

    • Thanks for the mho. :)

What Guys Said 30

  • Don't want kids.
    I like to cook.
    Like women with some personality.

    Why not date a feminist? Sounds like a good time.

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    • This was poorly worded. Ignore the first three statements. The last two still matter.

  • i would date a feminist but i wouldn't date one that sounded as resentful as you, thats for sure

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  • This posting illustrates precisely *why* men won't date feminists.

    You all need to realize that men in the United States don't walk around all day plotting how we can oppress women and destroy their lives. This notion that you have that men see women as sandwich-making vaginas is childish, and it shows the shallowness with which you view men. Judging by this posting I doubt you've ever had much interaction with men, other than maybe those in your immediate family.

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  • "If you don't believe in my worth as a human beyond my vagina or ability to bear children or make you sandwiches"
    That's why you think people don't like feminists? That is what you call a strawman argument, isn't it?
    When you say idiotic things like that, you can't expect people to want you.

    And like another user said, it's voicing an opinion on various questions on this site. No one outside of forums is going around yelling about not wanting feminists. The question gets asked, people answer.
    Perhaps a relationship forum (or any internet forum) is just not your cup of tea.

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    • Thank you for your input.

      And I made that statement ridiculous on purpose because I think you are all ridiculous.

    • You can't take opposing viewpoints so you belittle people. That's why you made that statement. I get it.

    • I'm afraid I don't have the slightest idea what you mean.

  • Because feminists don't understand the sentimental value that is a woman bringing a child into this world or her making a nice meal, to put it in the narrow perspective youve described.

    Good for you that you don't care, you'll get no sympathy from me or the other men who value these two things you exclusively picked on when you can't find a loving, meaningful, fruitful relationship because you're waging a false war of equality in the 21st century

    Chivalry is dead and women killed it with feminism.

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  • That is not what a man thinks when he thinks of the word "feminist".
    when a man hears the word "feminist' the picture we have is "nasty, inconsiderate, men hating women, many times lesbians, who claim to want to be equal exact for when it comes to asking out guys first or paying for dates".

    that may not be what a feminist is, but many women have ruined that word for you women. Because that is what most guys think of.

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    • Perhaps better and more comprehensive education is in order?

    • sure. But on both the men and women side. Women need to find those that are ridiculously militant and try and tone that down. or make sure your message gets out to the rest of society that those radicals are not representative of Feminism.

    • I usually just ignore the militant uber-radical ones because there's no reasoning with them.

  • 1.) Don't confuse women and feminists. While I don't respect feminists, I respect women. Think of Germans in WW2: not every German was fascist.
    2.) Because over the time you'll get bored having a mangina near you.

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    • Describe.

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    • @FakeName123
      Is that a question to me or to @madhatters4 ?

    • A generic rhetorical question adressed to no one.

  • Feminists who think men who won't date you don't believe in equality, why do you think we care? You're already biased against us based on our gender, blame us for all your problems, and assume that feminism is the only path to equality when it's not even close. It's not even on the same road as equality. So, we wash of our hands of you and don't look back. We don't care about you either. Stop pretending we do.

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  • Says she doesn't care what we think, proceeds to post a question proving that she does care. And what a nice a straw man theory you got there, you get that at the latest slut walk? There has also been some shit that gone down lately in the SJW/feminist crowd that proves what non-feminist men have been saying for a while, male feminist are only saying they are feminist to try to get sex from women. It's also funny how a non-feminist man, such as myself, think women are more than just for sex. It's funny how it works that way.

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  • I don't care whether you care or not. The idea that all men who oppose feminism view women as inferior is ridiculous. I agree with @Eugene on his points.

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    • Since I'm attending university in the UK for 2 years now, I'm genuinely surprised to see anyone with balls from the UK.

      High five.

    • @Eugene - yeah I know what you mean, UK is fucked.

  • Good question, since feminists usually belong only to the rich.. the ret of the guys, they won
    t care, so why try to threten them with 'not dating?'

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  • It would depend on what variety of feminist you are. Are you a gender feminist that believes that male and females only behave as they do because of social constructs? Are you a equity feminist that believes in equal opportunity or do you believe in equality of outcomes? Are you a marxist feminist that believes we need to destroy all the social institutions of the Patriarchy? It's not so simple as there are a 100 flavors of feminist.
    Gender equality is a noble cause but it means different things to different people. Just because someone does not believe in a dogmatic ideology does not make them a sexist, a bigot or a misogynist. They are just of the belief feminism is not the way to achieve it. I would say the majority of people fit into this category since only about 20% of people identify as feminists. This being because the methods to achieve equality that many disagree with cannot be separated from the label.
    I have indicated that I am unlikely to get along with a feminist in my profile. That is my preference. Why do I want to bother dating someone who allows her beliefs to be guided by an ideology I believe is at best inherently flawed and at worst incredibly damaging. I'm saving both parties time.

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    • I didn't think I would get a response over a month after I posted this question. Thank you for your input.

  • hmm I don't know, im not judging though.

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  • Lol. Feminist logic.

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  • If you don't believe in my worth as a human beyond my lack of vagina or ability to make children or win bread for you to make sandwiches, why would I want to date you? Like, what exactly do you think you have to offer if you don't see me as a human being?

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    • Oh look! A copy pasta of what I wrote! How clever.

  • date an female rights advocate yeah being one myself i could date them but dating a feminist that's a big no no for me. well at least in my local area the ones here are filled with man venom and spit it around every where i doubt I could even get one in a room for 5 mins without hostility or even date one haha :D

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  • Just because we won't date a feminist doesn't mean that we only think of her as an object. For me, feminists, in general, aren't my type.

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    • How do you know if you don't get to know them at all? That's like saying Hindus aren't your type. Hindus are still individuals (and so are feminists).

    • That's why I said "in general".

  • its called voicing a point of view. no one told you to care.

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    • Why bother unless you want us to hear it?

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    • No dear, I'm asking why you respond in the first place.

    • to voice our opinion. you asking me why i would voice my opinion would be like me asking why would you ask this question. you are voicing your point of you and i my own.

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  • You care because your vaginas are empty. That's the premise.

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  • If you don't care, then why did you create this question? Apparently, you DO care.

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    • Anyway, I cannot stand the "traditional" housewive type of woman personally, if that's what you mean. But I'd be a bit wary of anyone who calls herself a feminist, simply because they often refuse to acknowledge men's issues.

  • nobody cares

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  • They're just ranting...

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  • I don't mind dating a feminist, a lot of my female friends are feminists and they're still really great.

    That being said, I'd never date you. You seem to have way too many issues.

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  • 1. Why would you think that a guy cares what you think of his dating choice? It seems like he's just informing you of his feelings and you're getting all defensive and need to make sure everyone knows you don't care as if to invalidate his choice.

    2. I don't think that not dating a feminist has ANYTHING to do with not respecting a woman as a human being. I think it's to do with feminists who jump to that conclusion, like anyone who doesn't march to the feminist drums and drink the kool-aid is automatically a misogynistic asshole.

    Can't you see how that simplistic binary mindset where "you're either with me or against me" is just an unattractive trait in a person? ... especially if you're a guy looking to date a girl because that immediately associates you with the "out group."

    I'd probably trying dating a feminist but if I feel like they're ignoring men's issues, only focusing on women and just generally demonizing maleness, then to me obviously they're not that mindful of equality and I can't be around that.

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  • LMFAO if you think that's why a guy won't date a feminist. Stop sipping the kool-aid and actually listen to a guy's reasons for once (note: man-hating and deliberate attempts to harm men is the number one reason we won' date feminists).

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    • And are all feminists violent? I think I would have heard about it if Emma Watson was picking men off like flies.

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    • Well I think perhaps we're at more of an understanding now. To put my original statement more accurately, men don't hate feminists--the hate certain kinds who show through their actions that they use political power as a means to harm men. The typical girl who identifies as a feminist because she thinks she should have equal work opportunity and other freedoms is not hated--I think a healthy-minded man should actually seek such a women.

      I think the important point is that there are different types of feminism, but the term has largely become associated with the hate-filled sorts (giving all feminists a bad name by association). Perhaps a new name would better serve women who aren't man-haters.

      And I'm a hard atheist.

    • Most people are loath to abandon the term feminism because of its legacy. To do so (in my mind) does a disservice to the women who sacrificed a lot to help me get to where I am today.

  • If you didn't care why ask a question about it? Tell me exactly how someone saying they won't date a feminist affects your life.

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    • It doesn't really, but why would they bother to tell me?

    • If you don't care why would it matter? I'm just saying posting a question about tends to show that you care.

  • I'm a fan of women, and spend a little too much time trying to shut down & educate misogynist posters.

    I hope every anti-feminist gets what they deserve: a lonely life.

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    • I am cracking up that only females have upvoted this, whereas only males have downvoted this. Speaks volumes

    • Kinda like the only people that comment on penis size posts are men, and the only (helpful) advice on dating/behavioral questions comes from women.

      My eyes are open.
      I wish some of these stubborn dudes would stop fighting with women for just long enough to listen to one woman speak.

      Or maybe they should ask their mothers and sisters if they've ever felt uncomfortable or threatened because of a man, or underpaid, or treated unfairly for their lack of a penis.

      Not that these kinds of dudes care what they're mothers, sisters, wives or gf's have been through.
      They're too busy worrying that misandry is a thing, and that the extra incentives that men have enjoyed for 5,000 years may go away.

  • There's a spectrum of "feminists." Any man worth his salt isn't going to expect a servile... servant, but on the other hand, guys don't want to end up with someone who's going to bail on them, take their kids, their house, their assets, and a sizeable chunk of their future income (all told, their self-worth) - literally "cashing out" the instant they start to get bored with the relationship.

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    • I feel like that mentality is not restricted to feminists or even women.

  • Just because you don't believe in feminism doesn't mean you don't see women as equals. Feminism does a lot of horrible things and people don't like when people associate with them. Not all of feminism is bad but all you hear is the bad it does so people prefer not to be around it.

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    • As feminism is a movement dedicated to allowing women to be seen as equals, not believing in feminism would necessitate that you don't see women as equals.

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    • Most feminists never prove their point. They just say educate yourself since they have nothing to prove people wrong.

    • Feminism isn't a single ideology. It's a collection. I can't speak for the entire movement any more than you can speak for every member of the country of your birth.

What Girls Said 7

  • That's basically my opinion :) Luckily, I managed to find a fellow feminist to date and it's working well, he's helped teach me a lot.

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    • It's not actually that hard. There are more people who are feminists than people who aren't in this day and age.

    • I guess I'm somewhat a feminist

    • That's good :)

  • i think they are very very few jerks who treat women like that... dont over think this.. calm down..

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    • I keep seeing dumb Takes like "Why I won't date feminists" and everything is misspelled.

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    • They aren't. A woman can believe in feminism or not. Men can also be feminists.

  • so true.. but prepare for outrages of angry feminist-hating men lol

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  • You tell them... Like if they don't like a feminist girl. Its cool... We don't give/ care

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  • I'm not sure if the ones u are speaking about are really feminists. I consider myself a feminist because I respect myself, other women and men even more so. How do u expect them to respect us if we come about it from a place of hatred and a false sense of intitlement? Does that even justify bashing other ppl? No. Of course I am totally against the injustices that women nowadays suffer at the hands of some very poorly educated men.

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  • Well, I think the term feminist brings up the views of the Feminist Leadership in America, not feminism in its true sense. These women do NOT represent my views AT ALL!!

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    • I wasn't even aware there was leadership. There are so many different ideologies that it's kind of pointless to lump them all together.

  • Lol and here we have the typical man hating 'feminist'
    What makes you think they care if you care? 😛
    You must be fun at parties

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    • Why mention it if they don't want me to hear about it?

    • If you don't care then why not just dismiss it and move on with your life

    • put that handbag down and step away... lol

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