Dating boyfriend for four months. Told him I love him, he said he thinks he loves me. Has a difficult time talking about his feelings. Uses humor as a defense mechanism. Just wait it out until he's ready to say it? I haven't said I love you to him except the one time.
Most Helpful Girl
It all varies in the details but the bottom line to determine how a guy loves you. A simple way I figure that out is by knowing that love would make anyone extend more than usual. Whether it be reaching out to know about how your partner is feeling, sacrificing a moment of their time when they are stressed, making time when they don't have any and so forth. Trying to understand someone else while we are biting our tongue etc. All equates to extending beyond one's means that we don't do for people we don't love/care about (this also applies to friendships and not just romantic ones) Now there are many examples of this. Perhaps you'll be able to find some in your own life. Love is an subjective experience with many different needs. What one might think is love (how one gauges how they receive love) is different from another. You'll have to gauge the man in your life by his own standard of love vs comparing it to some social standard. So below is how, given the aforementioned, I know my boyfriend loves me without injecting it with biases and personal preferences.
1. He gets super excited to see me each time we meet. He is the talkative- adventurous-freedom loving- intellectual type. So if he wasn't talkative there be a problem that he is pointing out to me. Again, I'm gauging the love of my boyfriend by his personality and values.
2. No matter how hurtful some of our arguments were, He continues to put in equal amount of effort to repair the situation and to come up with solutions for himself.
3. He seeks to understand me vs correct me.
4. He doesn't buy me gifts or say sweet words or do something extraordinary... But within those lines, based on who he is and what he values, he shows his love through subtle ways by consideration and being focused on the partners general well being. (see point 5)
5. Subtle ways: he covers a blanket over me. when I'm sleeping he gently rubs my arm till I wake up, if he is in the kitchen, he'll pour me water. If he sleeps over and I leave the house before him, he'll help clean up or make the bed. He'll text me to see how my day is going, asking if I had dinner. . No over the top romantic gestures. Just simple actions that show that he is always in consideration of your overall well being.
6. He puts aside his ego and selfish ways at times to offer me strength, to get me out of a mood or negative thinking state.1