Is OK to ask girl out via text message or IM?

We never called each other yet and we are text messaging, but we were talking a few times outside, in real life :D I am just to shy to call her. So is it OK to ask her out with text message or IM?

I think if I call her and I ask her out, she has hardly no chance to reject my invitation, because she is friendly and maybe she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I would rather give her a chance (to reject, if) by text message... You know what I mean?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean you COULD, but, would she prefer that, no. This happened to my friend 2 weeks ago, and to be honest I thought it was weird, but it seems to be the norm these days. If I've been talking to a guy only thru texts, I would find it odd he wasn't calling me. So send her a text today and in the midst of convo tell her your going to call her later tonight before bed. That's usually the perfect time because the hussle and bussle of the day is over. Don't be shy either! You've talked in person so the worst is over :) Good Luck!

    • Im friendly too, and if a guy asked me out I would say I have plans this weekend maybe next time (in a friendly voice). Don't let fear stop you!! You will feel so much better once its done and she says Yes. Trust me no girl is going to entertain a guy through text messages if she's not interested. Most girls know when guys are into them so if their was no interest she wouldn't be answering you because she would know you would eventually ask her out. Let us know how it goes!

What Girls Said 11

  • I think that's not a very good idea. The best way to always do it is in person. To show that you really are interested in her. Also by doing it in person you can see her body language and her facial expressions. I think it's just so much better that way. And the truth is if she don't want to go out with you she'd reject you no matter what method you use. And remember that a girl will always love a confident guy, so if you really want to talk to her on the phone call her up. Good luck! :)

  • No, becuase honestly it will be awkward when you do see her. Just do it in real life, that's the safest bet. Don't be a pansy.

  • that's sweet that you're thinking about how comfortable she'd be rejecting you, if she were to do that, via phone call. BUT if you call her, and she doesn't want to, then she'll just have to do it. It's best to call. Never text and ask someone out, not personal enough. IM, meh, don't try that one either; again, not personal enough. If she knows that you're really shy and you actually call, you're gonna win a lot of points. Go for it, if you fumble or stutter or whatever, it's okay because she'll feel like you're really making an effort and you MUST like her AND the cuteness factor might increase - it would for me:)

  • It's 'ok' if that's all you feel comfortable with but honestly, it will be awkward when you do see her in person and at least you'll both be able to clearly convey your meaning if you can hear her voice or see her face when you are talking.

  • ok but not ok... I'd rather be asked in person... whether she says yes or no. at least she knows you're not a chicken and you never know it might change her perception of you.

  • Yeah totally ask her! It can be really awkward in person, through text you can ask someone out without the awkwardness. When you do meet up you can concerntrate on having fun! If she rejects you, it's not so awkward either! Texting rules! :)

  • if you absolutly can't call then via text message but don't hope she responds right away, you're still better off calling but it seems like guys don't do that anymore

  • just grow a pair and call her. getting asked out via text message is kinda lame and she might think its a joke. do it in person or over the phone so she can see your sincerity and nervousness. :)

  • Please don't text her. It's a bad idea. In person is best, but I understand what you mean in your update. In that case, call her at a time when you know she can't pick up her phone (or maybe if she turns it off at night, call then), and leave a message. But please don't text her. That's like asking someone out in an IM. D:

  • I had a guy ask me out last week via text and it was not charming or special in any way. At least have the guts to pick up the phone, call her, and ask her out! C'mon dude.


What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, but your success rate climbs when she's able to laugh and chat with you on the phone. But if you're so insecure that you know you'll screw it up, then text her... at least you're doing SOMETHING.

    Just don't make it a dramatic Date request... that might scare her away.

    Instead, after the next good text message (something that made you laugh) text her this,

    "Ha! Hey, I'm heading to that new dessert place downtown this week, wanna join me for 30 minutes of chocolate and tea?! I'm thinking Wednesday."

    If possible offer to pick her up too. This puts you in the "driver's seat" and unconsciously invites her to follow your leadership (helps build attraction.)

    What girl will say no to chocolate?

    Good luck!

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Dude,this is like bribing her to go out with you.,

    • Of course it's not.

      That's like saying you're bribing your best friend to see Avitar with you by telling him how awesome it looks.

      Your job, when inviting her out, is to paint a picture she's going to enjoy. Not put her on the spot.

      By inviting her to dinner he's saying "Would you like to eat?" instead of "Would you please be my girlfriend?" Can you feel the difference?

      This get's her out with him, and allows her the space to grow affection towards him.