Me and one of my friends had a fling last September and everything was going great. She wanted to spend time with me, sleep with me and do romantic things with me. It was amazing, I was like finally! A girl I want to be with! She is beautiful and we have so much in common! She all of a sudden went cold on me and me being too nice I chased her and came off weak and needy and she ended up rejecting me when I asked if things were going further. I was crushed! She told me best friend that she likes me and doesn't want to mess things up so why the he'll did she reject me?
Over the next few months I kept trying to push her towards me, obviously to no avail, but when I drunkenly confessed my love to her I decided I couldn't take the pain anymore and told her that we can't talk anymore. She told me that she can't bare not having me in her life and that she can't commit to me because she is too emotionally unstable. She wanted to just stay friends until she is ready for a relationship.
Since then everything is very platonic. She always talks to me at weekends and asks me how I am and shows interest in my life. She once told me that she misses me. The problem is that she is meeting up with other guys, not for romantic interest because she is notoriously promiscuous and she asks me if I met any girls and how it's going with dates I've been on. We also slept together in my bed a few weeks ago but she only wanted to cuddle and go to sleep (she couldn't get home). She clearly doesn't see me in that way anymore but when I tried to get away from her again recently she asked me "what's going to happen when I start properly liking you, are you just going to walk away again". What do I do to get to the point that she wants to give us two another chance because I can't stop thinking about her, I don't know if I'll meet a girl I'll like as much as her?
Most Helpful Girl
Sorry dude, she's using you. She likes the attention and effort you put into chasing her. When people say they're not ready for a relationship and only want to have a fun time with you, you should run for the hills (if you're looking for something serious). This girl won't change anytime soon and she'll keep you on the hook for as long as possible.
I used to really like a guy who was emotionally unavailable too. I also kept thinking "what if I don't meet someone like him, I have to keep chasing him". Turned out it was a big waste of my time since 3+ years passed and absolutely nothing happened, nothing changed and he kept fooling around with other girls as well.
This girl talks about the future as if you're bound to be together at some point, only because she wants you to keep chasing her. She likes the attention and affection. You're her backup when she feels lonely or when she doesn't have another guy who's showering her with attention. That's what the guy did to me, how he treated me. He was only affectionate with me when it was convenient for him, and didn't care when I came to him for it.
She's also guilt-tripping you in order to make you stay.
"what's going to happen when I start properly liking you, are you just going to walk away again"
That's an extremely hypothetical scenario in which she talks about feelings she DOESN'T EVEN HAVE. Saying this to you for "genuine reasons" would be 100% pointless as it doesn't hold any true weight (because it's only hypothetical and might not even happen, ever), but due to the fact that it's emotionally manipulative, she said it anyway.
Run from this girl. Seriously. You shouldn't even stay friends with her. She'll just keep using you and building your hopes up. Trust me, you'll find a girl who's 100 times better than her AND who's ready to commit.0
Most Helpful Guy
Just went through this.. women (and I guess men) can be brutal in using someone until something better comes along. She thinks she's too good for you and the best thing you can do is show here you don't agree by disappearing.
The best way to get someone's attention, is to remove yours.