My girlfriend's co-worker is starting to cross the line and not sure what to do about it?

My girlfriend started working at this store a few weeks ago, employment for the time being until she can find a job that makes use of her education. But one of her co-workers is seriously getting on my/her/our nerves and he's kinda crossing the line as far as co-worker/lady-in-relationship communication goes; and my girlfriend agrees but she kinda tolerates it Because they work together and nothing drastic has happened yet. I definitely do NOT feel threatened by him, everything I'm writing here has been communicated with my girlfriend and she understands where I'm coming from. He's been nice enough to help my girlfriend with rides from time to time, which is totally decent of him, but his intentions aren't genuine because he's made it clear that he has a crush on my girlfriend. We think his attitude is seriously whack, he's kinda arrogant, and it's kinda screwed up on a "guy-code" level in my book and he has met me several times and knows who I am. So what kind of crap is he pullin? He texts her almost constantly, and the days that she doesn't text him he tries to put guilt trips and says stupid crap like "so you giving me the silent treatment today?" "you miss me?" "does yer boyfriend hate me yet?" wtf?!?!?!. He also caused some very unnecessary drama for her at their work when she was sick, kinda hard to explain but he basically is trying to play superior on a new co-worker when he has no rank, and only been working a couple weeks longer than her. She snapped at him for that, and told their boss, but he's trying to create a situation that makes one or the other seek apology or sympathy for their "friendship" which is really just co-worker situation and they really don't even know each other.

There's just some stuff you just don't do, and if you do do that then you should expect all/any type of negative response you get. I've never been in a fight before, I'm not some territorial meat-head, I trust my girlfriend, she tells him to back off but he doesn't. I feel that I should make him aware that he's behaving inappropriately, but I'm NOT gonna do that at their place of employment. If I'm gonna say something, I'm a straight-shooter and I'll tell it to your face. He's starting to deserve getting his ass-kicked, he's seriously irritating us, and I wouldn't be surprised if I just made him aware calmly firmly and maturely that it bothers me he'll probably get scared, and I'm not looking to do anything that will make things bad for either of them at their job. I'm just wondering and am a bit torn as to HOW firmly I address it. I'm not physically threatened by him either, and we jokingly say it'd be fine to kick his ass when she quits Because he deserves it, but I feel it should be addressed before that otherwise it's just gonna get worse. It's kinda disrespectful towards my girlfriend and me, don't ya think? Any advice? he deserves an ass-kickin but obviously there's some reason to hold off on that for a bit. I'd appreciate all and any feedback. thank you

Updates:
My girlfriend and I hung out with this turd last weekend, he's still a douche, I feel better and more annoyed at the same time, but now I'm keeping it more in my gf's court to handle it. Sooner or later I'm gonna confront him. still seeking advice and perspective
seeking more perspective rather than advice I should say. Everyone seems to agree with me,and my logic for it but I haven't heard any success stories or actual "I was in a similar situation, so I did this..." yet. So I'm kinda still hoping to hear that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i agree with a lot of what people had said so far, its just hard to judge because we don't necessarily know what's going on..it could be that your girlfriend is not being entirely honest I mean what if she's flirty with him at work really talkative to him so he gets the wrong impression but when she tells you what's going on she tells you what you want to hear so she doesn't get in trouble for it. I'm not trying to throw her under the bus, but its a possibility of what's happening. If this guy is such a hinder to you and your girlfriend then she should be more assertive towards him and really tell him what's up, guys tend to back off when you really let them have it, it may hurt his feelings but if he's not getting the point id say she should go there. I was in a situation like this before and it really made my boyfriend upset, and it was hard to put him through the constant worrying so I stepped up and let the other guy have it, he started to ignore afterward and I knew he was upset but my boyfriends feelings are more important lol.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 7

  • oh man, this guy sounds like a real douchebag. good hell, lol first off I'm sorry. This is a tough situation...

    Here's my advice, you should definitely call him out on his mistakes. I'd approach him in real life, and id let him know that I don't appreciate the texts he sends to my gf's phone and tell him to knock it off. See what happens after that.

    Seeing that he's not violent or not threatening to you, I'd leave it at that and see if he'll back off a bit.

    Even tho your girlfriend says she doesn't like it, she could love all the attention she's getting. haha

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    • that's what I had in mind, though the tough part is finding the opportunity. seems only possible to occur when I pick her up from work (but I don't wanna be "that guy") or maybe if/when he drops her off at her house and I'm there, though she only takes the ride offer if no one else can and she has no car at the moment, so rarely. My girlfriend is just as annoyed as me, and she doesn't like it at all, she and I have been serious for less than a year, but have known each other since we were kids.

    • good point. he is around your wife whether you like it or not, so it'd be smart to not get under his skin too deep. Atleast say something to him, you don't have to make it sound threatening. Tell him that you think his texts to your girlfriend is inappropriate and he should stop.

      Try nicely the first. Next time, you beat the sh*t outta him and bribe one of her coworkers to drive her home. taxi too.

  • I know exactly what you allude to. My former wife worked with such a boorish cretin, and I finally took it upon myself to remedy the situation. I simply laid in wait for him one evening after he had finished work and rendered him unconscious with a cloth soaked in chloroform. As soon as I was certain he was under, I removed both of his arms with a scalpel. His attitude was greatly improved from that day forward.

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  • I know this probably sounds lame but you can sue for unwanted harrasment can't you? And this could be evidenced if she kept a book of notes of dates, Times, What exactly happened... Etc. Right? Sad I know but it's all I could come up with. Personally I like your option of kicking the sh*t out of him more but I'm not a violent person so yeah sorry.

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    • taking legal action seems more extreme than beating the p*ss outta him haha, or would at least be more work for me haha. Guys who pull crap like this get their ass beat for it, though I can't think of any examples that I know of in at least 5 years, so am I too old for it? I'd imagine that legal action would cost one of their jobs, and it was hard enough for her to get that in this economy so that is partially in consideration too. Expressing this discontent seems less to-the-point over the phone

    • Well then get extremely pissed... Then go to his house dressed as JASON (With the hockey mask and chainsaw ?) Then saw his head off and glue his **** on top of it, That way you can call him d***head and you'll technically be correcting in calling him names because that's what he'd be. A d*** on a head. Jeez, I make myself laugh sometimes.

  • soo just by curiousity, what ended up happening? did it work whatever you did?

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  • you gotta step in... because ya dnt want this guy stealing your girlfriend out from under you. He has made it clear that he wants YOUR woman... gotta put yer foot down... whatever you do (don't just talk), make sure he gets the message... if not, kick his ass!

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  • ya really dnt need THAT much advice.. go with your gut instinct..

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  • pay him a visit and work and tell him next time you have to stop by it won't be to say hello.

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