If a guy is not replying my text within 1-2 days, is he busy or just not THAT into me?
Thanks!
Thank you everyone for answering this question!
I have been both on the giving and receiving end of this. Ever since I became an adult, the pace of my life has picked up. Prioritizing my time is key. I need to be able to completely focus on whatever it is I'm trying to do be it school, one of my two jobs, one of my dance classes, or making time to enjoy the company of those I love. I like to live in the moment and be able to give my total attention to the experience. So sometimes I truly am very busy and I don't have the time to be texting and having some long, in depth convo over text. It's irritating when people get pissy because it takes you a while to reply. I can't wait by my phone so that I can reply to them with the speed of lightening. It's just not realistic with my schedule.
I have been in your position before though where I wasn't sure if the guy was truly busy or if he was just stringing me along. Looking back on it, he had a lot on his plate. I know speaking for myself and some girls I've experienced in this situation, sometimes the guy really is very busy. Other times, she simply, honestly has not shown him enough to captivate his interest. She hasn't made the type of impression that makes him feel like he wants to make time for her no matter how busy he is even if it means a simple text. You have to show him your worth before you can expect him to do something like that.
I think that people need to stop attaching so much meaning to things like texting and Facebook. When you really think about it, texting and Facebook are probably the least satisfying ways to solidify a connection.
This was my question before: link
I think you're right that 'people' (including me) need to stop attaching so much meaning to text, Facebook, etc...
I'm not experienced with dating... but logically, if one person is interested in another person they'd usually want some kind of contact.
I know I have changed my phone/text habits for this guy... I'm not a phone person at all. We'll see.
Thank you so much for your answer
How long have you guys gone without talking?
2 days
hmmm...if he makes a habit out of this, you should straight up ask him "Are you losing interest in me? Just be honest. I was just wondering because I noticed you haven't been talking to me as much lately..."
oh geez...I just went through this same thing with a guy I had met recently. He acted like he was WAAAAY into me in person. Then, a few days after our date, I sent him a text at night. He responded, but it was a VERY slow response (like an hour later) and then his answers were one word (not at all answering the questions I asked).
The next day I hear nothing from him all day when for the past few weeks prior, we had been texting daily. Anyway, long story short, I basically told him to piss off and he was just SOOO confused as to why I'd be annoyed (and of course made into the me being "crazy" for questioning him about not texting me back)
So yeah, I told him that I was done with him, and you know what? I never heard from him again. So you see, my instincts were right...he had lost interest and that's why he wasn't responding. (he tried to the use the busy excuse too, but when it comes down to it, he really didn't argue with me, he just let me end things)
Of course your situation could be different, but I truly beleive that if someone cares about you, you won't have to do the guessing game. You'll just know that they are into you from heir actions.
Good Luck!
Thank you so much for sharing!
I'm glad you know how I feel... or experienced something similar. We can relate :-)
At the same time, I'm curious, did you tell him nicely that you were "done with him" ?
well...honestly, not really! lol He really pissed me off with the whole "you're being crazy" attitude. When he didn't respond to me at first I was like...'hey, what's up? If you're losing interest, just say so, I'll understand" To which he responded (something like): "nah, I'm just busy, chill"
I was done after I heard that response! I'm pretty quick to cut a guy if he makes me guess about him though...Maybe I'm too harsh, but I'm close to 30 years old...I don't have time to play games!
I was in the same boat. This guy was fresh out of a 2yr relationship and took it upon himself to be as busy as possible for whatever reason... We went on a date and had a good time but after a month of trying to set up another date, he was continuously busy with school and work and sports. He wasn't much of a texter and I was always the one sending the messages. I would only text him once every week or two (mind you that was hard because I wanted to get to know him). One day he didn't text back and I took it as a sign. I'm not going to sit around and make myself look like a fool constantly tugging at this guy's shoulder to hang with me. It's kind of a shame because I thought he was a nice guy. I've never experienced a guy just up and stop texting me and not contact me after having met and spent time together. When you feel like you like someone it's a bit of a blow.
If you feel it in your gut that things might not work out, focus on other things. It doesn't have to be another guy but just distract yourself.
Thanks!
In my "gut" I feel that he lost interest or is loosing interest. At the same time, I like to hear other people's opinions because I usually lean towards 'he's not interested' more than the reverse.
It's a good way for me to not get too involved and eventually get hurt :-)
Obviously not a great way get a relationship though...
Not too sure. I suppose it depends on the person and how often it happens.
Some guys just aren't into texting as well.
Most of the time in which I neglect to send a text back quickly is if I check it and forget about it or if there isn't much more to be said.
And some people just text way too much :) It's like wow if you have so much to say lets just hang out.
True. I agree with you bout 'let's hang out'...he's in another state though. Nevertheless, thanks!
some people are really busy. but I wouldn't understand that life, I'm never busy. if I don't reply a text its either because I'm not interested or just plain lazy.
Thanks lamnobody!
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I think you can genuinely be too busy, yes. My boyfriend is an architect student and when he has a deadline of a project, he'll work like a maniac one day/night before the deadline. And he won't answer his phone or text back, because it's a distraction for him.
I was at his place once studying for my exam and he was working on a project. And he was so into it, that he literally didn't check his phone for like 6 hours..
Oh another reason he doesn't reply to your text (not even a week after) it's because he might have been drunk when you texted and he forgot all about it haha
Perhaps. I'll keep you updated and we'll see. :)
Quite often I'll get a text when I'm really busy...
But I'll make the mistake of reading it..
So my phone clears the notification..
When I'm no longer busy, I completely forget that I have a text to return..
and me personally, I'm a responder.. I 'rarely' just message or call...
I see. I think its different for everyone. From what I noticed, he's quite capable of sending texts...
We'll see. Thanks!
If it's my guy then usually I reply right away (or if my phone is not on me, then as soon as I realize I got a text). I would expect same from him unless I knew he was really busy, in which case I usually wouldn't text him anyway.
But if it's anyone else, then sometimes I receive the text and either don't feel like typing at that moment or get distracted and plan to reply later. Then I tend to forget all about it. So sometimes it's not on purpose.
Thank you.
Even with friends I'd reply later... I'm just thinking from a dating stand point, when you're excited about someone, usually you'd want to continue communication...
I think that applies to guys and girls.
Ugh I'm going through this right now. I personally try not to let something like that get to me, but it does. I figure if the guy hasn't responded to my text after 2 days, he's not that into me. If he doesn't have the common decency to respond, then I walk away. It's not supposed to be that hard.
Yay, we can relate!
"I figure if the guy hasn't responded to my text after 2 days, he's not that into me."
I totally feel the same way. I really want other perspectives though because mine might be narrow. I like hearing from men themselves... we 'females' might not know as well...
THanks!
It''s SO hard for me not to do a "follow up" text..like, Hey remember me? Lol JK! But I know guys can get busy and "forget" to get back to us..but come on, if he really was interested, and doesn't want us to slip away, he'd be on it. Like I said, it's not that hard. Bottom line, it really is a game, but it straight up sucks. :/
Not just too busy to text, but more often than not, just not THAT bothered. Guys can let a lot of time go by, because we're not natural communicators.
A guy would think nothing of letting 2 days go by. Whereas girls, as you've shown, would run the whole gamut of emotions in 2 days, coming to the conclusion that he wasn't interested, and then moving on.
Girls do think about it to a certain extent... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Thank you so much for your answer. I'll write an update if he text
RE: Update - That's good to hear. Now, will you remember this for next time?
Note as well how the girls answers below differed very much from the guys answers. This is one of the areas girls don't seem to know guys very well on. They almost all uniformly assumed he wasn't interested in you. And they were all wrong.
I don't really text at all. I do phonecalls. If I'm too busy to call back then I wait until later. But it's not uncommon for me to get caught up in something else and forget completely even in the case of someone I care about.
If he likes you, he'll find time to somehow talk to you. Maybe not right away but he will. I'd give it a week, if he doesn't answer its time to move on.
Thanks! I'm getting ready to move on :-)
We'll see, I'll keep you updated. Thank you for the short and sweet answer!
No problem :)
not that into you. sorry :( I know how you feel though. or he is into you but not bothered enough to put in the effort and that's not really any better is it?
You can't automatically assume that though. I had thought the same thing, so I texted him and straight up said "If you've lost interest or met someone else, you could have told me instead of stringing me along!" he later replied with "I'm really sorry, I have been very busy with exams" and he was dealing with a death. You can't always internalize a situation with a guy and make it about you, when in reality he could just have things going on.
What Freetobe007 said. There could be so many reasons, you really can't just conclude he's not into you.
And please don't believe stupid books like He's just not that into you..i'm not saying you personally believe them. just saying those books are so generalized that you can't take anything seriously written in there ;)
This is exactly what I'm thinking. Thanks. :-)
@SandyLychee, thanks! I know books are generalized, you're completely right.
@Freetobe007: Thank you for your comment. I love you name! Anyway, thank you for sharing your story. I'll keep you updated!
For the most part, the amount of time it takes anyone to reply to a text doesn't really mean anything. It's the actual message that matters. There is also, of course, the waiting game.
Thanks Raptor! You have a point... at the same time have you ever been excited to talk to some girl before? Don't you want to continue communicating (talking/text) with her as much as possible?
I think if he liked you he could spend a couple minutes texting you back
Agree. Thanks :)
probably isn't that into you
This is exactly what I'm thinking, thanks.
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