Why does she push me away every time we get close?

We dated for a few months without issue. The first week of dating she ended it. Said she was afraid to hurt me. Initially I was upset but I told her the next day that I understood and won't burn the bridge for it. She was happy I understood and things stayed relaxed for a week and then she wanted to date again. She told me she has major trust issues, how her last relationship was really rough, and how she needs to go slow. So we did, things were fine. She'd occasionally have doubts but nothing deal breaking. Then we got into a big fight about... well not really anything, and that was it. She told me she needs space, which turned into another fight. Then next thing I know I don't exist to her. After a couple months we started to talk again and things went really good. She was opening up to me again, but then same deal. She told me to leave her alone.

Then a few more months go by and she initiated contact again. This time it lasted a bit longer until I made a step and asked her to come out to a party my friend was throwing. She seemed like she really wanted to but said she had plans that she couldn't break. Two days later she texts me saying I make her uncomfortable and I need to leave her alone (deja vu). I bumped into her maybe an hour later at taco bell (the irony) and brought it up. She refused to talk about it because I apparently blow it out of proportion. Admittedly I was getting flared so I calmed down and asked softly to please talk about it later. She started to cry, said "I don't know" and stormed out. So I just texted her saying I'm sorry for getting angry and I'm not mad. I just want to talk because I don't want to lose you again.

I haven't heard anything since (its been a day). My guess is that she's at least thinking about it, otherwise I would have just gotten a hateful "leave me alone" reply. So, apart from clearly having some issues with intimacy, what's her deal? How can I go about this the right way? I know I should move on and find someone who doesn't have this much baggage but I really do care about her. I just don't want to let go, not yet.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you answered your own question.. "You don't want to let go, not yet." If that is the case, I am not sure what to tell you. She definitely has some issues that she needs to work though. Until she does, I am not sure what you can expect. It seems best for you to move on, but as I said you have already made that decision.

    Be careful...

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    • I'm being too stupid to be careful. Thanks for the wise input though! I hope I don't regret my decision.

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