Can a 22 year old women date a 41 year old man?

Ok I am currently 21 but turn 22 on feb 22. Ok I asked out my old teacher to go out. He is 41 years old. He said that the age difference is too much but at the same time he likes me. So yesterday we went out to get a few drinks at bjs he then told me afterwards that he doesn't want a serious relationship and that lets see where this goes,what does he mean does he like me or just want to have sex with me? He said that he has phone issues is he lying? So we just e-mail each other. So he wants to hang out again. So overall what's up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm 41 and married to a 22 year old woman. We have a beautiful daughter together (8mths) and are very much in love. Before I give wisdom I'll give truth. His phone situation is that he is still living with the woman he is divorcing . or, they're still very much in a relationship. That's my first thought. My second thought is he was your teacher and there are phone records to be had down the line and sometimes these showing up on his account may not be entirely ethical if things were to come to light when he's attempting to advance in his career. The "doesn't want a serious relationship" means this; That he digs you, wouldn't mind fooling around here and there but needs to get through his issues and if you and he are upright (so to speak) on the other side of this then he may just be game for something serious then. Now wisdom. With an older man you don't have to deal with the crap that a younger man has to deal with such as jealousy, money problems and being unsure about his sexual practices. At 41 a man knows who he is and what he likes, what his limits are, and that is an extremely important thing to know. What are my limits? It's been a while since you've posted so I hope all things have faired well. Good luck.


What Guys Said 9

  • First of all is he single? Does he have family? Maybe he's a little intimidated dating such a young girl. I mean maybe he does like you but the age difference is quite dramatic and I personally if I was him would be scared of what my students would think and family would think too. Maybe he likes you but then again maybe he might be using you for sex. So be careful girl. You're only 22, there's so many other guys out there around your age that would definitely want to be with you.

    • He told me that he has just got out of a 10 year relationship and he wants take things slow.

  • We can't know if he's lying about his phone. He just wants to remain friends. I agree with him, the age difference is too great. He's old enough to be your father.

    Consider finding someone your own age. Look hard enough, and you'll discover someone just as mature as your teacher friend, but much younger.

    • He told me that he has just got out of a 10 year relationship..and he wants to take things slow and see where it goes

  • It definitely sounds like he is hiding some things in his life, here. The age thing could work out, but there's too much "mystery" in this relationship to continue it. I would just forget him, and move on!

  • He's lying about the phone (pretty common). And he's already made it clear -- he doesn't want a "SERIOUS relationship" -- which means he just wants sex, not a girlfriend (he's actually pretty much spelling it all out for you, if you think about it). If he's 41, ask him if he has a son you could date.

  • I would relay be where of the "phone issues" that sounds fairly fish to me coupled with the not wanting some thing serious. So I am inclined to think that is is in one and just wants some thing on the side even more so from a nice young woman. Tread care fully my friend.

    • He told me that he is single and that he just got out of a 10 year relationship..and he wants to take things slow

    • Taking things slow is all good but unfortunately it still sounds a little fishy all be it a little less but still fishy cause what kind of phone problems could he be having that is whats is really sticking out in my head.

  • 20 years difference is a bit much. That's getting to daddy issues territory. With that big of a difference I would have to say its prob. And ego trip for him. About the phone thing. Maybe he's married. Either way. I'm curious why you would want to date someone that old.

  • You can honestly do whatever you want but just remember 1 thing, how am I looked at by society?

    • What "society" thinks is not a reason to live your life by!

    • You are supposed to live life the way you want to not by how other preserve it.

    • This is one thing that you should forget about...and just be yourself...

  • Oh that sounds very very shady! The phone issues seem like he doesn't want you to call because he doesn't want his wife or someone to answer the phone, see who's calling, or both. As the others have said, I'd play it really safe and slow, differently be careful, and see what happens. The age difference is not a big deal really. Age is a number, that's all. Some family friends were 20 years apart in age, and I have a cousin married to a man who's older than my father and her parents.

    • He told me that he is single and just got out of a 10 year relationship and wants to take things slow.

    • Saying he's single and being single are completely different. I'm sure married men who cheat claim to be single.

What Girls Said 3

  • Well he is 19 years older than you. It might take some time for him to get used to dating a younger woman. About the phone issues. I don't know what that is. Like he said, just wait and see where things go. Try and be patient, it may take some adjustments to make it work for the both of you.

    also, he's a guy. Who knows if he wants you for your mind or your body? Just because he's older doesn't make him less capable of using you, so still try to be careful.

  • He wants to be friends and is hiding the fact that he has a house phone and more than likely a cell phone. So, are they both not working? I would stay away from this guy. Eventually you will have sex and end up getting hurt.

  • He sounds shady. What the hell is phone issues, I never heard of anything like that before. Maybe he's seeing someone else. Who knows,but I'm 22 and I get attracted to older men. I think as long as they don't look like that are much older than you. Than it will workout. But this guy doesn't sound like he wants to be with you. Maybe it is just sex. I would find out, unless you are okay that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. I would talk to him about it, tell him to be honest.