My husband and I just recently got married in August. We knew each other for over six years, have been dating for over three. I love him so much. He is such a wonderful person. The problem is I am so lonely all the time and I don't know what to do. When my husband isn't working he is sleeping and on his days off I want to spend alone time with him. However, he never really seems to want that anymore. When he comes up with the idea to go to dinner or do anything I get all excited thinking we are going on a date but he always wants to invite my sister inlaw and her boyfriend everywhere we go. I will be thinking we are going to dinner as a date night and he always wants to invite them. I don't mind inviting people out to eat with us every now and then but when we are always over at his sister's house on his days off, and inviting them everywhere we go, I can't help but want some alone time. I guess I just feel so sad that I have to strive for attention from my husband. I am so lonely. Today is his first day off in such a long time so he suggested we go out to eat. Shortly after he mentioned going out to dinner he asked if we should invite his sister and boyfriend. They said they didn't wanna eat what we decided on so we went alone. But instead of having a conversation with me he was on his phone at the beginning of his meal txting his sister. To me personally that is rude and he never did this to me when we were dating. We also rented movies to watch together. Instead of watching them he told me he was tired and went to bed at 8pm.So just another lonely night for me.I just miss him. I am so lonely and hate spending another night up by myself with nobody to talk to. I guess I just pictured marriage differently. I thought the whole point of marriage wasn't so you could be very lonely and spend more time with other people.
I guess I am also very lonely because I am living away from everyone I have ever known. I know barely anybody here. Also, I am a stay at home house wife (not because I am lazy, just job wise things aren't working out as good as I hoped). It's been really hard on me. So what I am asking is do you think it is normal to newleyweds and to always want to invite people on "dates"? Has anybody been just recently married and still feel so alone? I don't know what to do with myself. Please help.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm not married yet however spending time together is like sex. It’s fun and helps in getting to know each other, but it also starts getting boring when you don’t make an effort or if you start seeing it as a chore. It’s an easy way to form a deep bond and to grow together, emotionally and mentally. By spending time together while dating, you realized that you want to get married and spend the rest of your lives together, so it shouldn’t be disregarded as unimportant after the wedding.
A great way to spend time together is by having supper together. This might seem like very little effort, but definitely something to invest it. Instead of having supper while watching TV, rather switch the TV off and talk about your day at the dinner table. You’ll be surprised how communication thrives on just 20 minutes of chatting during supper.
Love making is one of the most crucial factors for a happy marriage. Though initially you may not have an inkling about it, with tensions and work stress coming in, you often lose interest in sex. However, you do not realize that lack of sexual intimacy can affect your marriage life in a negative way. Hence, you have to make an effort to maintain your sexual relationship, as you had in the initial days of marriage. Keeping the romance alive is of utmost importance.