Do guys like it when women play coy or do they prefer to know they are liked?

Do guys really like it when women play hard to get? I mean, if you were dating a hot girl, would you be turned off if she made it obvious that she was into you? At what point do you cross the line between flirty and coming on too strong?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd prefer she speak up and let me know she's interested and not play games or assume I will understand some signals that most men particularly me just plain miss.

    If she is to coy I just assume she isn't interested and move on. I means lets face it there are roughly 10 females to every male on the face of the plant finding the right person mite not be easy but you got to keep looking and no sense wasting time if she is not interested


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • I think its a balance. I obviously don't want a woman to come onto me so strong that I think she's just trying to get under the covers or is a loose-woman -- well, unless that is what I was looking for.

    A certain level of discretion is needed. On the flipside, if she is coy and using all manners of subtleties (the majority of which will be completely lost on me), then that is going to be a problem. I might read that as disinterest and ignore her entirely.

    So where do you strike the balance? That's a tough question, and not every woman or man is going to believe that proper balance to be in the same place.

    For myself personally, a phrase like "I would really like to know you more" is 'obvious' enough to count as a declaration of interest, but it is coy enough not to go overboard. Compliments like, 'That was fun, I really like you.' would also fall in the same category.

  • I don't understand people who are coy, unless the situaton calls for it..maybe when they're with work colleagues and want to keep their private life private, that kind of thing.

    Otherwise, I look for a woman who will be honest and not play games about her feelings. No such thing as 'too strong' to me!

    • So you can appreciate a woman who doesn't feel the need to play games and makes it clear that she wants you? Do you think most guys your age have a similar view?

    • Yes, most of us are tired of the women being on the old pedestal..that traditional view is SO out of date now, but a lot of both sexes still play at that game...but not most guys of my generation.

  • For the last time, NO!!! Why have so many women gotten this conclusion ingrained in their head? If she was being sleazy, then that's when I'd be turned off, but making it hard to reach her, hard to meet her and just generally hard to deal with her is worse. Those people are manipulative and selfish. At least the girl coming on strong is giving something back. The hard-to-get one just sucks the energy out of the guy and has nothing to offer in return.

  • I'm a very direct person. Suble, strong and obvious hints get lost on me. If a girls says " your cute" that could mean a bunch of different things. Now if a girl came up to me and said "let's fuck!" (Which would never happen to me) I'd tell her to pump the brakes. In my opinion, just be honest. Not a fan of head games. But that's me. Some guys like the chase

  • Personally I'd like to know. I hate all those indirect games with a woman I'm interested in.

    • So what would you consider coming on too strong?

    • Show All
    • What if the man is intimidated by her already? Would you think it more necessary for the woman to be forward?

    • Nope, just be submissive in your approach. If I know a girl I like is extremely shy and skittish, then I'd lower my energy considerably to match hers. Too much Alpha may scare her. Usually I'd ask out by saying,
      'what you doing next week Thursday?

      'Nothing, why?'

      'Brilliant, there's a show I'd like to take your to I k ow you'll love it'

      'Ok cool'

      'Cool, I'll pick you up at..'

      If she's really shy I might enter with,

      'Hey, I'm not sure what your up to next Friday but there's something I think you may like'

      'Really, what is it?'

      'Its nothing big, (explain how fun the thing is)'

      'So, do you think you'll have time on Friday ? '

      'Erm... Maybe'

      'If not don't worry about it, you don't have to Answer now, let me know by Tuesday so I can get you a ticket.'

  • Hate it. If she seems indifferent I'll assume she isn't interested and go elsewhere.

  • Guys prefer not to guess where they stand with a woman. That's the kind of thing that drives us nuts about women. We can't read your mind. It's always better to just be straight forward.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think at your mature age you are in the prime of your adulthood and games is a no-no. Grown men dont have time to be trying to decode your signals and ultimately if they feel they have to put in extra work to guess where things are headed...they will head out the door. you can still be cutesy and not overbearing while still being straight forward. it takes a balance. but time is passing people by and most people want to know the status up front. No one likes their time to be wasted.