Feminists; why are you destroying all women's image?

I am 22 years old and I am extremely old fashioned. As a woman I feel that it is my duty to please my man at the end of the day. I feel it is my job to do the house work, look after the children and cook my husband big meals to feed him after his long day at work. I feel it is my job to agree with my husband and let him make decisions because at the end of the day, even if I believe his decisions are wrong, it makes him happy to know that I will stand beside him through his decisions. I work full time and so does my husband. If my husband had it his way, I would be as stay at home mom. But given that today is so financially hard on everyone, I have to work. Don't get me wrong, I love working. My social life is while I am working. And no, this isn't because of my husband. This is because I would rather sit at home with my husband, rubbing his back, watching a movie with him and sucking his dick than have nights out on the town with random "girl friends" that these days will destroy you for the simple sake of saying they can. The money I make is OUR money. We don't have separate bank accounts. There's no need for it.
I have been asked on numerous occasions why I believe this way and upon telling people why I do, they will say things like "This is 2015 you know. You shouldn't be doing anything for your husband. You're not his mom." Or the men will say "He's a bitch. No man will do anything for a woman these days if they knew any better. After all, women will only fuck you over." Is this really the image that men get about ALL women because of the radical, ignorant feminists? If my husband and I want to go about our lives in an old fashioned manner then why can't people just shut up and allow us to live our lives? I don't bash on the men who sit there with their tails tucked between their legs whom have become more feminine than half of the female population. I don't sit there and ridicule the women who have completely destroyed their lives and the lives of many men on the simple fact that they think they are far more superior than them!
Is it really so hard to accept that not everyone follows the beliefs of today's society? Honestly?

Updates:
Just to clear things up, my coworkers are feminists who do a lot of man hating and nothing else. This is what I am going off of in my post. Where they are the only people I am socialized with, though its for work purposes.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Feminism gave you the right to have the CHOICE to choose to do what you are doing now.

    As long as what you're doing works for you and you do it because it is the right thing to do that works best for you two, then I don't see why you should stop doing it.

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    • I don't think she's talking about "first wave feminism" - which is what led to the choice.

      She's talking about the current, radical wave - which enforces certain beliefs on women for the benefit of the whole and actually REMOVES choice.

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    • This should be MHO.

    • @coconutelixir And apparently it was :p

      Glad you found that helpful! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • The only thing "feminism" is destroying is itself.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Well... hmmm...

    My wife is an "anti-feminist" too - but she doesn't feel the need to agree with every decision I make. She'll even refuse to go along with something she feels passionate about.

    You can be "antifeminist" and be total "equal rights". Anti-feminism just means you REJECT the position of feminists that says that what is good for one woman is good for all. Antifeminism means YOU RETAIN the right to decide for yourself what is good for you.

    Now, for you - you choose total subservience to your man. That's fine if it works for you. Again YOU and YOU ALONE should decide how your relationship is structured when it comes to your part in it.

    But... why are you concerned with what feminists think? Be your own girl... tell 'em to fuck off cuz you don't buy into their "group think".

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  • *Sees the word feminist*

    *Prepares for misunderstandings and name calling*

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  • Lol I'd say you're ruining the female image way more than the feminists, lady.

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  • "I would rather sit at home with my husband, rubbing his back, watching a movie with him and sucking his dick"

    What kind of mythical creature are you! ?
    😲

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    • I think a lot of women feel that way, but most of us have the better sense to impose that is how it has to be for every woman, everywhere all the time.
      Most people understand that that is very private choice and doesn't need parading around in public, so we don't

  • Lady, do yourself a favor. Chill out and chose when to not give a fuck. You're whole post is you whining about feminists that don't really concern you. Just get over it. Your coworkers can bitch and moan all they want, they're coworkers and not friends for a reason.

    You're question at the end could be easily directed back at you, by the way. Is it really so hard for YOU to accept that not everyone follows YOUR beliefs? Honestly?

    Just get over it, sit with your husband, watch TV, and do whatever. Or at least obtain a damn social life. Nobody should just be sitting around being submissive as hell to their partner and not doing anything. You're still young, girl, go out and actually be social.

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    • Geez could you of sounded anymore like an asshole? If you agree don't put someone down or just answer the question

    • I'm an asshole I admit that much
      @Lynzlindsey

  • I don't think it's just feminists to blame for making women look bad, and of course, it's not all feminists, but many feminists yes. I oppose a lot of modern feminism because it's largely contradictory and I don't think it's good for women or men. It tells women they're strong and equal to men, but then we get all these initiatives to help women, and only women, from pushing them into science to making it so they don't even have to tell a man on the subway "Excuse me. Your legs are taking up too much space and I'd like to sit here". Then there's these charities for women only where men suffer the same problems. It treats women like children, and when you do this too much, they start to act like children. This isn't an insult to anyone here so don't take offence. I don't know you.

    I'm all for equal rights as I'm sure you are. I don't think it's your duty to serve your man, but if that's what you feel and it fulfils you then great. It's a well working system where someone works and someone looks after the house and children. Something that can't be said for our current system after the whole "sexual revolution" where men and women can sleep around all they like with little immediate consequence. and there's this idea that fathers aren't necessary etc. Men and women are being driven further apart from what I can see. Perhaps some will feel differently and that's fine. I respect that.

    You sound like a good pair. It might not work for everyone and shouldn't be forced on anyone, just as nothing should be forced on you.

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  • If people want to live their lives in a particular way then that's their business and nobody else's. People should spend less time interfering in the affair of others and more time focusing on their own lives.

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  • Feminism is jealousy. But at the end of the day everybody is free to say what they need to say, choose what they need to choose. As they accept each other's opinions, whoever they are also not trying only to integrate in the society but to show their ability to make some contributions in it to prove their points. It's easy to accept your own vision but it's not easy to accept others opinions that we live in a time where being easily accepted isn't easy at all... very good point of yours, i like it.

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  • So, you like the colour green? Now everybody has to like the colour green? Sorry, doesn't work like that, I'm afraid.

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  • FCKING THANK YOU. A women with some sense.

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  • Because Feminism= the system.
    A tool used by the system to destroy the foundations of traditional family, while at the same time they promote gay marriage and forced 3rd world immigration with anti racism to give an end to western civilisation.

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  • I think that there is nothing wrong in what you believe, it is just the average behavior of the people that makes the 'trend', but everyone has the right to follow it (sheeps 😉) or not.

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  • What you are describing here is the reality of feminism today. What most women claim feminism to be, i. e., gender equality, really has nothing to do with feminism. That dictionary definition is nothing more than a unicorn.

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  • No one really cares about how you live your life, we have our own lives to worry about. It's you that seem to have an issue. I'd never be interested in a girl like you, but if you're happy with your man, that's what matters.

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What Girls Said 21

  • I'm a feminist and believe that everyone should have the choice to live their own lives, whether it's a traditional lifestyle or a more modern one, as long as they don't force others to live like them. Or judge those who don't. And quite frankly you do generalize and try to shame those who don't live like you.

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    • I'm not trying to shame anyone or judge them. However, I've had enough today. I work with 3 feminists and one man. These feminists have completely bashed my way of living and this man just sticks to himself in the corner of the room and doesn't defend himself. Good for you for sticking to real feminism and equality rather than going with everyone elses (or feminazis) views.

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    • I always hear people say BS like that but I've never seen it happen IRL or heard stories about it happening from my friends or acquaintances. Maybe that's an issue mainly in the US? And from what I can tell, a lot of guys approach girls by catcalling them. And then they're surprised when the girl flips them off... serves them right tbh. Other than that, if a girl freaks out for getting approached, then all guys can do is stay away from girls like that. Hardly the majority of girls are like that and I just feel like most men are worried over nothing. Stories like that always get a lot of attention on social media but how often does it REALLY happen?

    • I've seen it first hand and yes I am from the US. Maybe it is a bigger issue here rather than else where.

  • You care too much what people think of you.

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  • Why the fuck do give a shit what people think.

    This questions isn't even about feminism. Its about people telling you how to live your life. Tell them to mind their own business.

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  • right, because you feel that way, means everyone has to live that way. Talk about ignorance

    Feminism is about being able to choose your own path. You can choose whatever the hell you want, but that's the point, that's your choice. Don't force your choices on others, just be happy you can make them.
    "If my husband and I want to go about our lives in an old fashioned manner then why can't people just shut up and allow us to live our lives" they do. From the outside you look like a 100% average couple, people won't even know anything about your relationship until you go parade it around. And even then, no one is stopping you. But no one is forced to agree with you either

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  • It's horrible. Femimism is about equality. Now it is its own thing? I feel like it's too dramatic. A friend of mine felt it was rude for a man to open the door for her.. Or pay for food because it showed she was incapable of doing those things herself. Like are you kidding me? I have dated jerk after jerk who'd make me go Dutch and let the door swing back in my face. The guys she's picking up she's putting them down for being a gentleman? Sooner or later they all might stop treating us like ladies. Oh cosmopolitan on snapchat is the biggest double standard EVER.

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    • Exactly!! I 100% agree with you!! This is the exact thing I am talking about and for some reason people (women especially) think I'm ignorant for even speaking out against their "perfect movement".

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    • You should follow and or message me there aren't many of us.. So we have to stick together

    • I will right now.

  • I really hope you're a troll, for the sake of my sanity.

    Can't you be a feminist and still do all of those things as well? That's kind of the point of it. The fact that you have the option/right to live your life how you want to.

    You say you don't "bash men who have become feminine" then you proceed with bashing them. You bash them in your own head, you just don't do it out loud. You're really no different than the people who bash you for living your life the way you do, the only difference is you're more quiet about it.

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  • Do you really think feminists destroy all women's image? That is nonsense, everybody should be feminist because it's the equality of genders and if you don't think that a woman is equal to men well I think you're dumb. I don't know if you think that it's only your job or every women's job to do the housework and the cooking because in the first case well it concerns you but in the other case YOU are destroying all women's image.

    Just imagine I'm a black girl and I say that yes I think it's my role to be a slave and being considered as an object. Do you think that's normal? I don't, but what you think is comparable to that.

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    • Can the people who dislike my opinion tell me where they disagree with? I really would like to know their opinion.

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    • I'll check it out, thanks! :D

    • @Thor696 Your welcome ! Please send me a private message to tell me what you thought about it when you'll had seen it !

  • That's ridiculous.

    I am not a feminist. but If I decide to please my man, it's not because I see it as a chore as you say it is "your job"... for me it would be something I WANT to do. Something that PLEASES me... rather than see it as a chore. That's awful. I feel sorry for you if you see that as a job rather than something you enjoy. haha. That's not being against feminism, it's more of a stupid thing to do if it's done as obligatory.

    Love what you do, and do what you love. Rather than i do it cause it's my "job". Ridiculous women who think that way.

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    • This 👏

    • You misinterupted that 100%, actually. Maybe I should have elaborated further. Or perhaps you should have simply assumed where you feel the same way as I. However, that was lack of wording on my part.

  • I'm sorry but you sound like a wash out of a human, you just blindly support your husband even if he is wrong? That's stupid. Plain stupid.

    Good for you that you only want to stay home, cook and suck cock. It's great you know what you want from life, lots of people want more though. They want to be able to enjoy the same freedoms as everyone else. There are misandrists but are you really surprised? How long have we been subject to misogyny? It's an equal and opposite reaction.

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  • Everyone can choose the way the want to live their life. People shouldn't judge you for your decision and you shouldn't judge others for theirs.

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  • I am not a feminists!

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  • I am a feminist and I believe that you can do whatever the hell you want as long as he is not forcing you to do anything. Personally if I decide to make my man happy, I will do it because I want to not because I have to.

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  • I trust you have heard the saying.. "Live And Let Live" .. Enough said I believe.

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    • Oh and just one more thing, and I quote

      "I don't sit there and ridicule the women who have completely destroyed their lives and the lives of many men on the simple fact that they think they are far more superior than them! " End Quote.

      Just what do you think you have done.. Right Here.

  • Exuse us for believing we have a right to be as happy as a man without facing oppression and discrimination? That's what an actual feminist believes, and we don't push it onto people...

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    • Well then you are not the type of woman I am referring to. Kudos to you.

    • Thanks ma'am, best of luck with the extreme crazy feminists.

    • Thanks!

  • goddamn woman your nothing but your mans BITCH! (or is he lowkey your pimp and forcing you to act this way? you need to report that) i usually wouldn't use this kind of language but this post just made my blood boil! im not some hardcore feminist and i understand things like cooking and cleaning the house, that is more of the woman's job. but you sound waaaay too submissive and like the biggest push over EVER. i don't know what caused you to be this way but you sound like you need therapy you care way too much about pleasing someone. get a life. your own life! i really hope your just trolling.

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    • HA why are you so mad. because i pointed out something obvious? IM the pathetic one? i'm not the one who treats the guys im with like my pimps. i have a voice, i make my own decisions, i take care of the person im with but i dont act like their servant, and i expect good things in return because things should be equal. you're over here talking about "feminists are destroying all women's image" no honey, your the type of female that makes men see us as objects. you make men think we live for their needs. make them think we're their slaves. if you honestly think that women are made for nothing more then to praise men, you are EXTREMELY self conscious and as i mentioned earlier, PLEASE get some therapy you NEED it.

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    • lmfao i love how much you assume. i said that men are stereotypically known as dogs, and i've only had sex with 2 guys. after dating them for a good amount of time and they both proposed to me later in our relationship. ones again, get things right! aha this is getting sad.

    • just believe it or not (i know this is news to you), by doing your own thing, having your own ideas, and your own life, you can actually get some REAL respect! not a man who just lets you treat him like he's God and most likely doesn't even actually respect you, just loves you for all the things you do for him and for the way your somehow brainwashed into believing that since your a woman, its your job to serve him. i mean its not a bad deal! aha i've been with a few guys who practically worshipped me, it was nice but eventually i decided to leave them and find someone who actually has a personality and can actually stand up for themselves.

  • Do whatever makes you happy. If you don't want people to comment on your lifestyle... then don't make a big deal out of it. Why do you need acceptance anyways? Who cares what we think?

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  • So the fact that I'd like to have a say in my marriage makes me a feminist now? Duly noted.

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    • No. It doesn't. I don't know how people are turning this around and making out like I am a horrible person for wanting to go about my marriage my way. I should have elaborated further and I realize that now. 3 of my coworkers are extreme feminists, or feminists in disguise. Either way, these are truly the only people I associate with aside from my husband and children. And they are the ones making ignorant comments regarding the way I choose to treat my husband and marriage. My post was rather hostile and I realize that. It was just that today set me off. I was told by one of these women that I am part of the reason why women these days are oppressed and have no rights. Because apparently its women like me that make men feel like they are the more dominant gender.

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    • And as for asker, for future reference, if it bothers you so much, don't go share the details of your marriage with people you can't stand.

    • @nalaa never said I thought it was a bad thing. I'm not big on labels tho.

  • if you want to live like that by all means go ahead if severing men is what you enjoy and being treated like a second class citizen no one is stopping you. Just because you enjoy it doesn't mean all women do.

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  • " it is my duty to please my man at the end of the day"
    The only reason this *wouldn't* be sexist is if you also believe that your man has a "duty" to please his woman also.

    "I feel it is my job to agree with my husband and let him make decisions because at the end of the day, even if I believe his decisions are wrong, it makes him happy to know that I will stand beside him through his decisions."
    Yes so if he makes a stupid decision, you'll just let him make it?

    And why are YOU the one who has to make meals, do housework, & look after children, if you also have a job? The only way that wouldn't be sexist is if you work less hours.

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    • I work 20 hours to his 56. And no, this isn't sexist. Me having a life style that I want is not sexist. Me pleasing my man is not sexist. Me cooking dinner and doing house work is not sexist.
      And I refuse to let any new age single woman tell me any different.

    • Well, do you also believe that it's a man's job to please his woman, just as much as vice versa?
      If yes, then that's not sexist.
      If no, then that's internalized sexism.

  • I'm so sick of everyone putting man-haters and feminists in the same boat. We're not the same. Man-haters hate men and claim to be "feminist", but they're NOT. Feminists just want equality between the sexes. Anyone who claims to be a feminists but hates men is a liar. That's not a feminist! Real feminists don't care if you choose to have an old fashioned relationship. If you choose to cook, clean, and raise children, or whatever else you CHOOSE to do that's YOUR decision. Feminists aren't against old fashioned ideas or the people who choose to live with them. We just want you to have the ability to CHOOSE. There was once a time when women were expected to only cook, clean, and raise children. We just want women to have the option to do me more than that. We just want women to have the same options as men. We want you to be able to choose if you want to work, or be a housewife, and everything in between. I'm sick of fake feminists twisting feminism into something ugly. Feminism is not about hating men or women who choose to live with old fashioned values. It's not about hate.

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    • I agree but there is such a fine line these days that I truly don't know who's who anymore! Take this post for instance. Just scroll through the women's comments for a minute. Almost every single woman claimed to be a feminist and for equality and then turned around in that same sentence and bashed my "submissive" lifestyle.

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    • Agreed

    • The women who use feminism as a mask to bash women are the problem in today's society. Not the ones fighting for equality.

  • They're not destroying our image. As you know, there are a lot more types of women now, who don't try to hide who they are or how they want to live their lives. Some men are dealing with this change in a mature way (acknowledging that there are different types of women), while a few other men don't seem to get the concept that not all women are the same, and therefore they lump us all together in a heap of "not what I was taught women were supposed to be." The men who generalize us all are not the majority, I believe, so don't worry too much about it.

    And some people can't handle the concept that not everyone wants to live the same way they do. That's definitely not unique to feminists, it's in all groups (but because of your lifestyle, you're going to experience it more from them, of course). Ignore those people, too. You do you.

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    • girl it's not a few that don't get it it's most men that don't get it

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    • @sammy67
      Even on the internet, I usually see more guys who do get it. The ones who don't are the ones who rant the most, but they still seem outnumbered. Just what I see, though!

    • Asker, I really hope you don't mean women's *rights*, haha. We shouldn't have to settle for being treated as second class just because a guy might feel emasculated when his boss is a woman, for example. Anyway, if a guy thinks ALL women are one way, just because he had a negative experience with a certain group, that really is his problem. That's not a mature or healthy way to react to the situation, and he needs to grow up.

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