Best Friend is now Dating MY Crush!

[Anonymous]

This is going to be a long question because I need to give the background story so everyone can fully understand this situation.

Back in maybe October or November my friend (let's call her Jen) and I had tried to hook up our other friend (we'll call her Taylor) with this guy they both knew (he'll be Lucas). So after Jen and I tried really hard we both gave up because Taylor and Lucas were both disgusted at the thought of being with each other and Taylor was adamant in letting us know that Lucas was far from her type. So in the process of trying to get them together, I got to know Lucas better and discovered that I was developing a small crush on him. So I told Taylor and she told me to go for it after I checked and double checked and then rechecked that she absolutely did not want him. She always said no. So I started talking to Lucas more and with Taylor's help we became friends. I put some serious effort into this guy, I would drag Taylor and Jen to his outdoor track meets and sit in the freezing cold because I would promise him that I would go cheer him on. I even gave him congratulatory hugs if he won a race (even when he was all gross and sweaty). However a few months down the line Taylor starts making little comments like how she thought Lucas was getting cuter, and she kept asking me if I was still into him...I always said yes. So she offered to help me speed things up with him, so I thought. I told Lucas that I was attracted to him and that I liked him, and he gave me that nice little sugarcoated rejection...you know the "You're really cute, I just don't want a girlfriend" Ouch. So I confided in Taylor and Jen about my crappy relationship history. I even told them how a few years ago another really close friend I had intentionally went after and dated the guy I told her I was into and how much that kind of betrayal hurt me and how I hoped it would never happen to me again. So about a month goes by and summer's coming up and I start to see Lucas and Taylor getting extremely close. They'd flirt and hug for a little too long, and I was saw him with his arms around her cuddling but they both moved away when they saw me coming. I knew something sketchy was going on but I knew my friend and figured she wouldn't do something like that to me, not after I told her how much it hurt the first time around. So summer vacation came and in late June I went to Bahamas with my family for two weeks and I talked to Lucas a few times and was really excited to hang out with him when I got back. When I got home, Taylor texted me saying she had to tell me something. She then proceeded to tell me how she and Lucas are now dating, exclusively, and wanted to know if I was OK with that. I was devastated and hurt and I felt betrayed. I told her that I wasn't OK with the relationship at all but I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness. I cried for a week but I don't know what to do, I don't want anything to do with their relationship, how should I deal?

Updates

+1 y

I know he'll be around our close group of friends now more since they're together but I don't think I can handle seeing them together. I feel like a fool because everyone knew but me and I gushed about him all the time...no one thought to tell me.

[askpheobemyhero]

im actually going through a very similar situation myself at the moment. only difference is that I liked this guy for three years and he liked me back at first but even though my friend that I told about my cush said I could have him, fell for him, changed her mind and then he picked her over me. considering that I still feel the pain my self maybe I'm not the best person to give you advice but what I know is that you sound like I was at the beginning. hanging on to the thread of hope that he would change his mind and pick me but finally I gave up on that becuase I was hurting myself more that way. I'm sorry that you are going through this btw. I know it hurts..alot. what I am currently doing to help myself is focus on keeping my relationship with my friends from changing because no guy is worth loosing a friend over. it will hurt a lot at first to see them together but just find someone else to talk to or hang out with(in ur little group of course) when they are together in front of u. the key is in getting over this guy you like. no guy that isn't willing to jump through firey hoops for you is worth anymore than friendship or even that. trust me though if you keep thinking about it the pain will start to consume you and believe me ur friend ships will become strained and that sucks when it happens. writing about the situation helps me a little or blasting music so loud that you can barely understand it if your looking for a way to get away from your thoughts.

i found this quote a while back and it really made me feel better about my situation maybe it wil help you too. if not I guess I tried

"Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree..."

— Pete Wentz

i hope this at least puts some sort of smile on ur face while reading it because at least I would know it wasn't a total failure, well good luck. ill add more if I can figure out anything better

[hell_kitten]

i was in that exact situation... though it was kinda worst. This was my best friend who got me out of a serious depression, and she started dating the guy I was in love for 2 years. I felt just like you. But I realized who my true friends are, and that my best friend had changed, and was, well... a fake lying bitch! I actually had an happy ending, since she started treating him like crap, he confided in me (thus, we became really close friends), then broke up with her, and now we're dating! SO, keep the hopes up! if he's worth it, he'll dump, your bitchy friend and remember you

goooood luck and remember to stay strong ;)

[Lumanos]

Your friends are bitches, drop the lot of em and make new ones.